Karma.
//
Main:
Gather 'round, boys and girls for the story of the karma dollar and how it was wrought.
First, many long and wintery weeks ago, a cellular phone did present itself unto me alongside the sidewalk. Sitting, as it was, on top of the snow with ubiquitous precipitation of the flaky persuasion adding layer upon layer of concealment to so precious a possession as a cellular phone, I picked it up. With no immediate means with which to determine to whose estate this cellular phone belonged, I hesitantly, knowing that I was trespassing, albeit with good intentions, began scrolling through the list of "contacts" which all cellular phones are endowed with in search for a "Mother" or "Father" to whom I could entreat to speak to the owner of the cellular phone on my behalf so that it could be returned unto them. Hark! A pleasant surprise in the form of a contact listed as "Dorm". A voicemail was left and the phone delivered in the latter hours of the day.
The second part of this tale began perchance when I did receive a call on my own cellular phone from an associate and co-worker. Due to his lack of proximity to the theatre that was to be his place of employment that evening, coupled with his wife's pregnancy, I was asked to "fill in" for him, to use the parlance of our times. Thus the Vagina Monologues did occur under my supervision. But, alas!, a purse was neglectfully abandoned within the walls of the auditorium. The checkbook contained therein did reveal to me a name, but such a name which Facebook had not heard, nor which the Student Directory possessed an address for. Thus, again, did I peruse a "contacts" list not my own but this time "Mother" was called. She revealed a location to deposit the purse and all its contents, and thus a journey was begun. Across the darkened streets of Mt. Pleasant did the tires of my vehicle of benevolence spin. A doorbell was a poor servant in summoning the residents of the home, but a simply banging on the side of the porch, as they had barricaded their door from visitors, did invite suspicious peeking from under a curtain followed by the slow and wavering voice of "Can I help you?" as the door swung open. A brief explanation of the purse and how it came to be in my possession followed, which was met with a confused look which I neither encouraged nor responded to; I simply handed the purse over and walked away.
Now many of you are probably wondering "what the Hell do these stories of purses and phones have to do with a dollar?". Congratulations! That means you've been paying attention. In order to understand the significance of the dollar, you must first have the understand the major karmic events leading up to the dollar, thus you were provided with those details.
The day following the return of the purse, I was walking to my place of employment in order that I may begin on the arduous and almost certainly pointless time-occupying tasks that encompass the majority of my time "on the clock". Curiously, on the corner of a busy sidewalk intersection, there rested a single dollar bill, unmolested by passers-by and unruffled by wind. Looking around first to confirm that someone nearby hadn't simply dropped it while securing their wallet, I reached down and placed the dollar in my pocket. Thus it came to pass that the cosmos, for my good deeds, had awarded me with a single dollar bill for my efforts and the story of the karma dollar was born.
Quote:"It is one thing to praise discipline, and another to submit to it."-Miguel de Cervantes
Linguistics:
I got bored with using minimalism as the current standard, in our postmodern age, for making a piece of writing worth reading. Hope you enjoyed the overdescription and archaic structure found above.
Economics:
If you accept karma as the cosmic currency, then it can be graphed economically on a supply and demand scale. Doing so, since the currency and commodity are one in the same, results in this:
It is no coincidence that this occurs, it merely reinforces the cosmic nature of karma. However, as a full purse and a cell phone only equate to one American dollar, we can conclude that the cosmic exchange rate sucks.
Main:
Gather 'round, boys and girls for the story of the karma dollar and how it was wrought.
First, many long and wintery weeks ago, a cellular phone did present itself unto me alongside the sidewalk. Sitting, as it was, on top of the snow with ubiquitous precipitation of the flaky persuasion adding layer upon layer of concealment to so precious a possession as a cellular phone, I picked it up. With no immediate means with which to determine to whose estate this cellular phone belonged, I hesitantly, knowing that I was trespassing, albeit with good intentions, began scrolling through the list of "contacts" which all cellular phones are endowed with in search for a "Mother" or "Father" to whom I could entreat to speak to the owner of the cellular phone on my behalf so that it could be returned unto them. Hark! A pleasant surprise in the form of a contact listed as "Dorm". A voicemail was left and the phone delivered in the latter hours of the day.
The second part of this tale began perchance when I did receive a call on my own cellular phone from an associate and co-worker. Due to his lack of proximity to the theatre that was to be his place of employment that evening, coupled with his wife's pregnancy, I was asked to "fill in" for him, to use the parlance of our times. Thus the Vagina Monologues did occur under my supervision. But, alas!, a purse was neglectfully abandoned within the walls of the auditorium. The checkbook contained therein did reveal to me a name, but such a name which Facebook had not heard, nor which the Student Directory possessed an address for. Thus, again, did I peruse a "contacts" list not my own but this time "Mother" was called. She revealed a location to deposit the purse and all its contents, and thus a journey was begun. Across the darkened streets of Mt. Pleasant did the tires of my vehicle of benevolence spin. A doorbell was a poor servant in summoning the residents of the home, but a simply banging on the side of the porch, as they had barricaded their door from visitors, did invite suspicious peeking from under a curtain followed by the slow and wavering voice of "Can I help you?" as the door swung open. A brief explanation of the purse and how it came to be in my possession followed, which was met with a confused look which I neither encouraged nor responded to; I simply handed the purse over and walked away.
Now many of you are probably wondering "what the Hell do these stories of purses and phones have to do with a dollar?". Congratulations! That means you've been paying attention. In order to understand the significance of the dollar, you must first have the understand the major karmic events leading up to the dollar, thus you were provided with those details.
The day following the return of the purse, I was walking to my place of employment in order that I may begin on the arduous and almost certainly pointless time-occupying tasks that encompass the majority of my time "on the clock". Curiously, on the corner of a busy sidewalk intersection, there rested a single dollar bill, unmolested by passers-by and unruffled by wind. Looking around first to confirm that someone nearby hadn't simply dropped it while securing their wallet, I reached down and placed the dollar in my pocket. Thus it came to pass that the cosmos, for my good deeds, had awarded me with a single dollar bill for my efforts and the story of the karma dollar was born.
Quote:"It is one thing to praise discipline, and another to submit to it."-Miguel de Cervantes
Linguistics:
I got bored with using minimalism as the current standard, in our postmodern age, for making a piece of writing worth reading. Hope you enjoyed the overdescription and archaic structure found above.
Economics:
If you accept karma as the cosmic currency, then it can be graphed economically on a supply and demand scale. Doing so, since the currency and commodity are one in the same, results in this:
It is no coincidence that this occurs, it merely reinforces the cosmic nature of karma. However, as a full purse and a cell phone only equate to one American dollar, we can conclude that the cosmic exchange rate sucks.