some moments
Last night I forgot where I was for a moment, who I was, what makes me happy even. I was just blank. What brought me back was the feeling that someone was staring at me. Turns out, a guy was staring at me because I was standing in the middle of the street at midnight looking up at my window, not paying attention to whether or not any cars were coming.
Maybe I wasn't totally gone though. Something that makes me very happy was in my room at that moment.
Funny how there are some days though where despite all our happiness, all our love and fortune and joy, we just feel alone and scared, even when we aren't. Maybe it's just part of this big process.
Some days prayers fall out of my lips even when I don't mean to, and other days I try and try and even the air gets stuck. Right now in my life I can't dictate which days are which, but at least I'm learning that they exist and am grateful for the former. I'm grateful that I have no enemies. I'm grateful for the immense amount of faith someone special has put in me. I'm grateful for my apartment. I'm grateful for the stars I got to see this weekend. I'm grateful for the chance to write what doesn't make sense in my head (and probably doesn't in words either), because once it's out here it seems to stay out of my mind for a long time.
Maybe I wasn't totally gone though. Something that makes me very happy was in my room at that moment.
Funny how there are some days though where despite all our happiness, all our love and fortune and joy, we just feel alone and scared, even when we aren't. Maybe it's just part of this big process.
Some days prayers fall out of my lips even when I don't mean to, and other days I try and try and even the air gets stuck. Right now in my life I can't dictate which days are which, but at least I'm learning that they exist and am grateful for the former. I'm grateful that I have no enemies. I'm grateful for the immense amount of faith someone special has put in me. I'm grateful for my apartment. I'm grateful for the stars I got to see this weekend. I'm grateful for the chance to write what doesn't make sense in my head (and probably doesn't in words either), because once it's out here it seems to stay out of my mind for a long time.