a shift
In the last week I have noticed a shift in my mentality, a shift I have been waiting to occur for years now.
Though it may take my actions a little while to catch up with my thoughts (due to fear of change, even if it's good change), I feel like I've already made progress.
No longer am I basing my decisions on what others say to me or what I think I should do. Now I'm doing it because it is genuinely what I want. I'm actually doing what I want to do. And it's wonderful.
So to everyone who has promised me one thing or another... that you'll always be there for me no matter what, that I can always have an ear when I need it, etc etc, please keep your promises. Because I'm going to be different and you may not like it because it is no longer what you want, but hey, I can only do this for me now.
Accompanying this new feeling is also a heavy stress with my soon-to-come departure. Well, it's not the leaving that's stressful, but rather everything I have to do before then. I mean, I still have to write this paper, return library books and explain about my hospitalization to them hoping they'll get rid of the $510 fine I have, get loans/find out how much I'm being billed for study abroad once financial aid kicks in, pack, finalize an apartment, cancel another apartment, plan my trip to Haifa (i.e. pilgrimage), and track down my Swahili professor that went AWOL. *sigh*
Oh, and the math final tomorrow. Complex analysis. Yipee. Dude, I can't figure out how to find residues where f(z)=(P(z)/Q(z)) and Q is NOT < P+2. I'm waking up early to study MORE. Rawr. Maybe I should study now, but I just don't have it in me.
Good night.... and wish me luck. I really don't feel good about this final.... ugh. I actually feel kinda sick when I think about it.
Just take it one thing at a time Mia....
EDIT: Ugh, I DID know how to do residues... the only time q>(p+2) is when you have an intergral from -infinity to +infinity and you're trying to get the upper arc to =0.
AND I found a new apartment that I'm probably gonna take over the previous two (I'd get my own room and a real kitchen and living room!)
Finished Math...
Yar... things are looking up I guess.
Though it may take my actions a little while to catch up with my thoughts (due to fear of change, even if it's good change), I feel like I've already made progress.
No longer am I basing my decisions on what others say to me or what I think I should do. Now I'm doing it because it is genuinely what I want. I'm actually doing what I want to do. And it's wonderful.
So to everyone who has promised me one thing or another... that you'll always be there for me no matter what, that I can always have an ear when I need it, etc etc, please keep your promises. Because I'm going to be different and you may not like it because it is no longer what you want, but hey, I can only do this for me now.
Accompanying this new feeling is also a heavy stress with my soon-to-come departure. Well, it's not the leaving that's stressful, but rather everything I have to do before then. I mean, I still have to write this paper, return library books and explain about my hospitalization to them hoping they'll get rid of the $510 fine I have, get loans/find out how much I'm being billed for study abroad once financial aid kicks in, pack, finalize an apartment, cancel another apartment, plan my trip to Haifa (i.e. pilgrimage), and track down my Swahili professor that went AWOL. *sigh*
Oh, and the math final tomorrow. Complex analysis. Yipee. Dude, I can't figure out how to find residues where f(z)=(P(z)/Q(z)) and Q is NOT < P+2. I'm waking up early to study MORE. Rawr. Maybe I should study now, but I just don't have it in me.
Good night.... and wish me luck. I really don't feel good about this final.... ugh. I actually feel kinda sick when I think about it.
Just take it one thing at a time Mia....
EDIT: Ugh, I DID know how to do residues... the only time q>(p+2) is when you have an intergral from -infinity to +infinity and you're trying to get the upper arc to =0.
AND I found a new apartment that I'm probably gonna take over the previous two (I'd get my own room and a real kitchen and living room!)
Finished Math...
Yar... things are looking up I guess.