I Hear Your Strange Music...
Gentle and True.
I'm 20 now... and it feels weird.
I feel as though I'm supposed to be more together now... now that I'm no longer a teenager.
But I'm not.
I mean, I technically have a real job, and I'm in college, but something's still not right. I'm not sure what it is, but I have faith that it will all come together at some point.
~~~
On another note, I've discovered that I have absolutely no men in my life. And by "men", I mean, older father-like (maybe) figures and I'm referring to family members. They're all either:
a. Jerks/Liars.
b. Not really there.
c. Dead.
Save for my grandpa. He's pretty awesome. :)
I guess a part of me feels a little disappointed in the rest of these guys. I'm now at a point where I have look at all of these jumbled relationships and then decide on either: 1. detangling it and trying to fix it, or 2. just cutting it off completely.
And I'm sad to say that there is probably going to be more cutting off than I'd like. Bleh. This situation is just so frustrating.
But my "discovery" also made me realize just how strong I am as a female.
Someone asked me if I had a boyfriend, to which I answered "No." And then he asked if I wanted one... you know, because "every girl needs a guy".
But I don't.
At least, I haven't... for the past 10 years. I don't need a guy to fight my battles, buy me things, make me feel better, etc. Don't get me wrong, having a significant other would be nice... but I have yet to feel the NEED for one.
Gah! Am I making any sense?? This is all so blurry for me. I'm not even sure where I'm going with this, I just needed to get some of this out of my head physically. I should probably stop now. Heh....
But I guess what I do want to say is that... all I will ever really need is Him. And I'm glad for that. :)
I'm 20 now... and it feels weird.
I feel as though I'm supposed to be more together now... now that I'm no longer a teenager.
But I'm not.
I mean, I technically have a real job, and I'm in college, but something's still not right. I'm not sure what it is, but I have faith that it will all come together at some point.
~~~
On another note, I've discovered that I have absolutely no men in my life. And by "men", I mean, older father-like (maybe) figures and I'm referring to family members. They're all either:
a. Jerks/Liars.
b. Not really there.
c. Dead.
Save for my grandpa. He's pretty awesome. :)
I guess a part of me feels a little disappointed in the rest of these guys. I'm now at a point where I have look at all of these jumbled relationships and then decide on either: 1. detangling it and trying to fix it, or 2. just cutting it off completely.
And I'm sad to say that there is probably going to be more cutting off than I'd like. Bleh. This situation is just so frustrating.
But my "discovery" also made me realize just how strong I am as a female.
Someone asked me if I had a boyfriend, to which I answered "No." And then he asked if I wanted one... you know, because "every girl needs a guy".
But I don't.
At least, I haven't... for the past 10 years. I don't need a guy to fight my battles, buy me things, make me feel better, etc. Don't get me wrong, having a significant other would be nice... but I have yet to feel the NEED for one.
Gah! Am I making any sense?? This is all so blurry for me. I'm not even sure where I'm going with this, I just needed to get some of this out of my head physically. I should probably stop now. Heh....
But I guess what I do want to say is that... all I will ever really need is Him. And I'm glad for that. :)