Almost.
Well this is my first time really updating in a while. A lot has happened in the last few weeks; too much for me to handle. I don't like it at all, one day everything seems to be better, then the next day, it's all gone to Hell again. Why can't things be like they used to be? I miss those days.
I've gone through so much stress this last year, I've officially labeled it as "Worst Year of my Life". Friends aren't what they seem to be, there only like 2-3 I can really open up to, as for the rest, I could care less, I've just come to the realization that I'm graduating in less than 4 months and none of those people who have made me feel like I'm nothing are not going to matter any more. I used to fret day and night that I might lose these same people as friends, but hey what the Hell, I don't care. It just really vexes me how some people swear they can be there for me when I need them, but they don't notice at all when I'm having my worst days. I'm thankful for the few I have. I'm not going to try and make any more friends until college. Not worth the lies and confusion. My little sister who is 7 years old gets more calls a day from people than I do. It's sad.
Things are pretty tense and weird between some people, so I hope that really blows over soon.
I attempted going to church on Wednesday, didn't work out. After I ate dinner I was supposed to meet Therese and her friend Katie at North Coast, so I called like 9 times, but I guess Katie had her phone on vibrate the whole time, so I spent the evening in my car in the parking lot waiting for a response; I just listened to Chuck Smith on KWAVE. I've been thinking a lot about church lately. I miss it so much. The last time I really went out of sheer was when I was on the worship team at Oceanside CC. Those were the days. I know I could go every Wednesday to church to hear the message and praise, but I've always been apprehensive when it comes to going to a new church. All the people I hung out with at Oceanside CC have graduated and left for college and I don't know about Vista CC because I haven't been there in 6 years. Yeah, James and Therese want me to go to NC, but I don't know. It's hard for me. In youth group the people (or some) there are usually very rude during the message and praise, which makes me question the church itself (the building, not the religion). I'd rather go on Sundays, but only old people go on Sundays and going alone sucks.
Jasian is moving here pretty soon all the way out to San Marcos. Far! Hope things go well with that.
The semester ended last Friday, I was kind of nervous because I thought I would get a bad grade in Mrs. Do's class, because I really slacked off in that class this last semester. But I took the final and passed with a decent grade. I could have done better. I don't know if I mentioned this or not, but I may have a chance for Harvard. It came up over Christmas break, I never really thought about it until recently when my dad told me Estean (the guy who wants to get me in) was wondering about his proposition he made. At first I didn't take it seriously, but I don't think an extremely busy business man/Pastor at Maranatha would have remembered that 2 moths later. I'll look into it more; I really don't think Harvard is the school for me, it's extremely competitive.
Today, Wind I went to Point Loma Nazarene University to play some music for band directors to see if they would be interested in buying the sheet music. Ann McGinty was there, she composed the music we had and we just pretty much made her a lot of money and we got nothing in return, at least I don't think. She was ok, she conducted the band and was really weird at times, but overall ok. A bit snippy. It was really boring toward the end of the 3rd session because we played elementary school music and I wanted to just die. On the way home, it rained and it took a very long time to get back to the school. Point Loma isn't that far away and it took us about 2 hours to get home.
Well, I am going to go sleep or something, parents went to dinner without me, so I have to scrounge for dinner tonight. Everyone seems to be doing something tonight and the rest of the weekend, so I don't want to intrude in on their fun and be bothersome.
Have a good weekend everyone.
-Matt
I've gone through so much stress this last year, I've officially labeled it as "Worst Year of my Life". Friends aren't what they seem to be, there only like 2-3 I can really open up to, as for the rest, I could care less, I've just come to the realization that I'm graduating in less than 4 months and none of those people who have made me feel like I'm nothing are not going to matter any more. I used to fret day and night that I might lose these same people as friends, but hey what the Hell, I don't care. It just really vexes me how some people swear they can be there for me when I need them, but they don't notice at all when I'm having my worst days. I'm thankful for the few I have. I'm not going to try and make any more friends until college. Not worth the lies and confusion. My little sister who is 7 years old gets more calls a day from people than I do. It's sad.
Things are pretty tense and weird between some people, so I hope that really blows over soon.
I attempted going to church on Wednesday, didn't work out. After I ate dinner I was supposed to meet Therese and her friend Katie at North Coast, so I called like 9 times, but I guess Katie had her phone on vibrate the whole time, so I spent the evening in my car in the parking lot waiting for a response; I just listened to Chuck Smith on KWAVE. I've been thinking a lot about church lately. I miss it so much. The last time I really went out of sheer was when I was on the worship team at Oceanside CC. Those were the days. I know I could go every Wednesday to church to hear the message and praise, but I've always been apprehensive when it comes to going to a new church. All the people I hung out with at Oceanside CC have graduated and left for college and I don't know about Vista CC because I haven't been there in 6 years. Yeah, James and Therese want me to go to NC, but I don't know. It's hard for me. In youth group the people (or some) there are usually very rude during the message and praise, which makes me question the church itself (the building, not the religion). I'd rather go on Sundays, but only old people go on Sundays and going alone sucks.
Jasian is moving here pretty soon all the way out to San Marcos. Far! Hope things go well with that.
The semester ended last Friday, I was kind of nervous because I thought I would get a bad grade in Mrs. Do's class, because I really slacked off in that class this last semester. But I took the final and passed with a decent grade. I could have done better. I don't know if I mentioned this or not, but I may have a chance for Harvard. It came up over Christmas break, I never really thought about it until recently when my dad told me Estean (the guy who wants to get me in) was wondering about his proposition he made. At first I didn't take it seriously, but I don't think an extremely busy business man/Pastor at Maranatha would have remembered that 2 moths later. I'll look into it more; I really don't think Harvard is the school for me, it's extremely competitive.
Today, Wind I went to Point Loma Nazarene University to play some music for band directors to see if they would be interested in buying the sheet music. Ann McGinty was there, she composed the music we had and we just pretty much made her a lot of money and we got nothing in return, at least I don't think. She was ok, she conducted the band and was really weird at times, but overall ok. A bit snippy. It was really boring toward the end of the 3rd session because we played elementary school music and I wanted to just die. On the way home, it rained and it took a very long time to get back to the school. Point Loma isn't that far away and it took us about 2 hours to get home.
Well, I am going to go sleep or something, parents went to dinner without me, so I have to scrounge for dinner tonight. Everyone seems to be doing something tonight and the rest of the weekend, so I don't want to intrude in on their fun and be bothersome.
Have a good weekend everyone.
-Matt