(no subject)
sometimes i sit at the edge of my bed and i imagine his body falling softly against mine and his big warm arms wrapping themselves around me like they always used to.
sometimes i miss his voice, even when he was telling me he had to go. i miss those tones and those sounds. i miss the way he'd talk right before we went to sleep.
i want to stop, sort of. i want to stop thinking of him for the more pragmatic reasons; that there's little to no chance of him coming back to me.
however, i don't want to stop loving him. i guess that's the way it works. he's like an emotional imprint on me and i can think think think all i want about slipping my hand into his and curling up in the idea of his eyes, but i'll probably never have it again. that tangible love is gone.
everyone says he's not the only one, there'll be others. but it's like there's this big picture of him blocking out the very edges of my heart's foresight. i can't see past being with him, and i don't want to i don't want to i don't want to.
the other day i said he let me down.
i didn't want to admit that he let me go.
sometimes i miss his voice, even when he was telling me he had to go. i miss those tones and those sounds. i miss the way he'd talk right before we went to sleep.
i want to stop, sort of. i want to stop thinking of him for the more pragmatic reasons; that there's little to no chance of him coming back to me.
however, i don't want to stop loving him. i guess that's the way it works. he's like an emotional imprint on me and i can think think think all i want about slipping my hand into his and curling up in the idea of his eyes, but i'll probably never have it again. that tangible love is gone.
everyone says he's not the only one, there'll be others. but it's like there's this big picture of him blocking out the very edges of my heart's foresight. i can't see past being with him, and i don't want to i don't want to i don't want to.
the other day i said he let me down.
i didn't want to admit that he let me go.