and, over a year later,
Wow, I haven't thought about my Europe trip in more than a oh-gee-I-wish-I-were-still-out-there-travelling way for quite a long time.
- Develop hilarious tan lines (preferably on the feet)
Hahahahaha WATCH TAN ANYONE? It was a thing of glory, especially after being helped along by the post-trip summer dock job of joy and children and exhaustion.
- Shower as often and as thoroughly as possible (I suspect the opportunity may not arise very often)
Truth in this statement there was. I didn't actually, though. Oh, well, once, in Cinque Terre, that was the nicest shower I had pretty much the entire trip. Hard to thoroughly enjoy showers when irrationally fearing that someone will rip the shower curtain open at any second.
- Gain the ability to talk to strangers without turning into a tomato
Hahahahahhahahahahahahaha ... no.
- Get skinny due to economically-induced starvation
Yeah! But it lasted for ... not long, seeing as I started stuffing myself pretty much the moment I returned home and haven't stopped since.
- Lose something really important, so that I can learn just how unimportant certain things are
Um ... I had to throw out a bra and some underwear cause pigeons shat on them one night? I'm glad I didn't really lose anything. OH ACTUALLY I totally lost my camera case in a Roman villa's park. With two batteries and a ridiculously massive but (thankfully - pictures are not really one of the unimportant things) empty memory card.
- Have the above not be my passport, credit card, or all of my underwear in one go
Well at least it wasn't all of my underwear! Ahaha how was I so prophetic. I know myself too well.
- Learn how to take awesome pictures of myself (necessary for June)
Oh god. Most of my self-pictures were as lame as my face. But I revel in them, ahahahahaha.
- Perform the I-don't-speak-your-language-and-you-don't-speak-English-but-how-do-I-get-somewhere dance at least once per destination.
... Pretty much everyone spoke English. Goal = foiled.
- Not attempt the above dance in the UK. Where they speak English.
Ok, yeah, this one wasn't hard to accomplish.
- "whilst living out of a 50L backpack i want to discover that i am a minimalist at heart so that i can return home and throw away all of the useless junk that is cluttering up my house but i can't bring myself to get rid of right now." [facebook, Feb. 3rd] (Haha, I have had goals longer than I have been physically preparing for this)
Whilst avoiding midterm-studying and paper-writing I removed 45lbs of useless paper from my room, along with 3 bags of other crap I did not even know I had. My mom still laughs hysterically whenever I try to protest that this has made even a small dent in the sheer amount of junk I can't let go of. Goal = still sadly unrealized.
- Gain visible musculature from carting my life around on my back
This would require actually losing the fat that covers what musculature can be seen. In a word (well, three): lol, yeah right.
In other life-affirming news, I finished my last exam yesterday, and then arose at 6:15am this morning to make my mom a happy-early-birthday breakfast. I went through huge amounts of mental anguish trying to hide the materials and preparations from her yesterday; she got home and didn't even look in the fridge. BHUGIEAW;EK'LP[. MOM I LOVE YOU BUT BACON IS DISGUSTING AND I DON'T WANT TO COOK IT EVER AGAIN.
Also, Jamie Oliver taught me to cook an omlette. Jamie Oliver is the shit. That is all.
- Develop hilarious tan lines (preferably on the feet)
Hahahahaha WATCH TAN ANYONE? It was a thing of glory, especially after being helped along by the post-trip summer dock job of joy and children and exhaustion.
- Shower as often and as thoroughly as possible (I suspect the opportunity may not arise very often)
Truth in this statement there was. I didn't actually, though. Oh, well, once, in Cinque Terre, that was the nicest shower I had pretty much the entire trip. Hard to thoroughly enjoy showers when irrationally fearing that someone will rip the shower curtain open at any second.
- Gain the ability to talk to strangers without turning into a tomato
Hahahahahhahahahahahahaha ... no.
- Get skinny due to economically-induced starvation
Yeah! But it lasted for ... not long, seeing as I started stuffing myself pretty much the moment I returned home and haven't stopped since.
- Lose something really important, so that I can learn just how unimportant certain things are
Um ... I had to throw out a bra and some underwear cause pigeons shat on them one night? I'm glad I didn't really lose anything. OH ACTUALLY I totally lost my camera case in a Roman villa's park. With two batteries and a ridiculously massive but (thankfully - pictures are not really one of the unimportant things) empty memory card.
- Have the above not be my passport, credit card, or all of my underwear in one go
Well at least it wasn't all of my underwear! Ahaha how was I so prophetic. I know myself too well.
- Learn how to take awesome pictures of myself (necessary for June)
Oh god. Most of my self-pictures were as lame as my face. But I revel in them, ahahahahaha.
- Perform the I-don't-speak-your-language-and-you-don't-speak-English-but-how-do-I-get-somewhere dance at least once per destination.
... Pretty much everyone spoke English. Goal = foiled.
- Not attempt the above dance in the UK. Where they speak English.
Ok, yeah, this one wasn't hard to accomplish.
- "whilst living out of a 50L backpack i want to discover that i am a minimalist at heart so that i can return home and throw away all of the useless junk that is cluttering up my house but i can't bring myself to get rid of right now." [facebook, Feb. 3rd] (Haha, I have had goals longer than I have been physically preparing for this)
Whilst avoiding midterm-studying and paper-writing I removed 45lbs of useless paper from my room, along with 3 bags of other crap I did not even know I had. My mom still laughs hysterically whenever I try to protest that this has made even a small dent in the sheer amount of junk I can't let go of. Goal = still sadly unrealized.
- Gain visible musculature from carting my life around on my back
This would require actually losing the fat that covers what musculature can be seen. In a word (well, three): lol, yeah right.
In other life-affirming news, I finished my last exam yesterday, and then arose at 6:15am this morning to make my mom a happy-early-birthday breakfast. I went through huge amounts of mental anguish trying to hide the materials and preparations from her yesterday; she got home and didn't even look in the fridge. BHUGIEAW;EK'LP[. MOM I LOVE YOU BUT BACON IS DISGUSTING AND I DON'T WANT TO COOK IT EVER AGAIN.
Also, Jamie Oliver taught me to cook an omlette. Jamie Oliver is the shit. That is all.