Accident Reports
Accident insurance claim forms ask for a brief statement about how the accident happened. The combination of the finger pointing instinct and the small spaces provided on the forms can lead to some curiously phrased explanations.
"A pedestrian hit me and went under my car."
"The other car collided with mine without giving warning of its intention."
"Coming home, I drove into the wrong house and collided with a tree I don't have."
"I thought my window was down; but found it was up when I put my hand through it."
"The pedestrian had no idea which direction to go, so I ran over him."
"I had been driving for 40 years when I fell asleep at the wheel and had an accident."
"I was thrown from my car as it left the road. I was later found in a ditch by some stray cows."
"I was on the way to the doctor with rear end trouble when my universal joint gave way causing me to have an accident."
"I was sure the old fellow would never make it to the other side of the road when I struck him."
"To avoid hitting the bumper of the car in front, I struck the pedestrian."
"The accident occurred when I was attempting to bring my car out of a skid by steering it into the other vehicle."
"When I could not avoid a collision, I stepped on the gas and crashed into the other car."
"I collided with a stationary truck coming the other way."
"In my attempt to kill a fly, I drove into a telephone pole."
"My car was legally parked as it backed into the other vehicle."
"I pulled away from the side of the road, glanced at my mother-in-law, and headed over the embankment."
"The guy was all over the road. I had to swerve a number of times before I hit him."
"An invisible car came out of nowhere, struck my vehicle, and vanished."
Lol. I found these while trying to find my own accident report. There are a ton more but I thought these were the funniest.
"A pedestrian hit me and went under my car."
"The other car collided with mine without giving warning of its intention."
"Coming home, I drove into the wrong house and collided with a tree I don't have."
"I thought my window was down; but found it was up when I put my hand through it."
"The pedestrian had no idea which direction to go, so I ran over him."
"I had been driving for 40 years when I fell asleep at the wheel and had an accident."
"I was thrown from my car as it left the road. I was later found in a ditch by some stray cows."
"I was on the way to the doctor with rear end trouble when my universal joint gave way causing me to have an accident."
"I was sure the old fellow would never make it to the other side of the road when I struck him."
"To avoid hitting the bumper of the car in front, I struck the pedestrian."
"The accident occurred when I was attempting to bring my car out of a skid by steering it into the other vehicle."
"When I could not avoid a collision, I stepped on the gas and crashed into the other car."
"I collided with a stationary truck coming the other way."
"In my attempt to kill a fly, I drove into a telephone pole."
"My car was legally parked as it backed into the other vehicle."
"I pulled away from the side of the road, glanced at my mother-in-law, and headed over the embankment."
"The guy was all over the road. I had to swerve a number of times before I hit him."
"An invisible car came out of nowhere, struck my vehicle, and vanished."
Lol. I found these while trying to find my own accident report. There are a ton more but I thought these were the funniest.