The question that Fuchsia saw inscribed on the blank page of her journal caused her to pause, and mentally think down a list of things that she was not. Finally she decided that she might as well write down her thoughts, lest she forget them, since the Journal wanted to know anyway.
First off, it would be a he instead of a she, so He would have always been wanted and important to my parents. He wouldn't have been shoved into a corner and forgotten. He would've been the Heir that everyone wanted, because he would've been the 77th Earl of Gormenghast instead of my brother Titus. If He had been born instead of me, Titus could've done what he wanted, because there was already someone destined to be Earl. Titus would be needed only as a 'spare' in case something happened to Him.
He'd have very short, fair hair and pale skin. And he'd hate books and reading, unless it was about really boring, serious topics -- he'd have no time at all for silly imaginary tales about things that never actually happened. His favorite color would be yellow.
He would've been mother's favorite, and wouldn't have gotten along with his brother Titus at all. In fact, he'd hate Titus, and would always be a sneaky bastard who tells on where Titus has gone and what he's up to. And then he'd gloat if/when Titus was thrown into the fort for his misdeeds.
He'd hate anything natural -- he'd never want to walk in the woods or spend private time there. He'd only want to be around man-made things.
When he found that a kitchen boy had somehow made his way into his attic (if he even had an attic), he wouldn't have cared if the boy was alive or dead. He would've called for servants to take the boy away and toss him out of Gormenghast (if he were dead) or have him whipped and imprisoned (if he were alive).
Mother would have absolutely adored him, I'm certain.
(Cross-posted to
theatrical_muse)