How To Know You're a Nerd
Alternately, "How I Know that I've Spent Too Much Time with Liz Ott"
liz: I think what's missing from politics nowadays is a good, Hasbro toys themed smear campaign. Obviously it isn't enough to have politicians pictured with Saddam Husein (for example), we need them shaking hands with Megatron. And I think if you look deep, deep into your heart you will realize the truth about Ron Paul: he is an evil robot from the planet Cybertron and if he ever became president his one goal in life will be to steal the Creation Matrix from Optimus Prime.
me: i hear mitt romney wiped out the time lords and has trouble with stairs.
liz: I'm not sure, but I've heard rumors that Mike Huckabee is a Romulan spy--his plan is to use stolen cloaking devices in order to surprise attack on Iraq using an armada of Birds of Prey, destroying the entire Middle East with Plasma Torpedoes.
me: i suppose we should really be concerned with who's the secretary of education since they'll be president after earth's annihilation.
liz: Fortunately, Kucinich is clearly in cahoots with the Gummi Bears. Once he has a swig of their gummiberry juice, he'll be able to clear out these rapscallions.
me: i also saw tinkerbell spread some fairy dust on him. as long as he thinks happy thoughts (and really, when is he not thinking happy thoughts?) he can FLY!
liz: I have it on good authority that Hillary has access to the jemstar earrings. All she has to do is whisper "Showtime Synergy!" and her holographic alterego will emerge!
me: read somewhere that obama was seen eating lunch with spiderman. i also read that he may or may not BE captain planet
liz: Erm... I heard that... Cylons and... Senator Palpatine are plotting with... uh, Giuliani to take over the nation. But luckily River Tam beat the crap out of them so it's mostly a moot point.
me: i heard that almost no one voted for ron paul on super tuesday because he's david koresh reincarnate. i also heard that the "Diane" Special Agent Cooper is always talking to is actually his nickname for Hillary Clinton. He also threw a donut at a tree, and it got caught on a branch. this means that Ron Paul killed Laura Palmer.
If you caught all of those references, that probably means you're a big nerd. It also probably means that your name is Liz Ott.
liz: I think what's missing from politics nowadays is a good, Hasbro toys themed smear campaign. Obviously it isn't enough to have politicians pictured with Saddam Husein (for example), we need them shaking hands with Megatron. And I think if you look deep, deep into your heart you will realize the truth about Ron Paul: he is an evil robot from the planet Cybertron and if he ever became president his one goal in life will be to steal the Creation Matrix from Optimus Prime.
me: i hear mitt romney wiped out the time lords and has trouble with stairs.
liz: I'm not sure, but I've heard rumors that Mike Huckabee is a Romulan spy--his plan is to use stolen cloaking devices in order to surprise attack on Iraq using an armada of Birds of Prey, destroying the entire Middle East with Plasma Torpedoes.
me: i suppose we should really be concerned with who's the secretary of education since they'll be president after earth's annihilation.
liz: Fortunately, Kucinich is clearly in cahoots with the Gummi Bears. Once he has a swig of their gummiberry juice, he'll be able to clear out these rapscallions.
me: i also saw tinkerbell spread some fairy dust on him. as long as he thinks happy thoughts (and really, when is he not thinking happy thoughts?) he can FLY!
liz: I have it on good authority that Hillary has access to the jemstar earrings. All she has to do is whisper "Showtime Synergy!" and her holographic alterego will emerge!
me: read somewhere that obama was seen eating lunch with spiderman. i also read that he may or may not BE captain planet
liz: Erm... I heard that... Cylons and... Senator Palpatine are plotting with... uh, Giuliani to take over the nation. But luckily River Tam beat the crap out of them so it's mostly a moot point.
me: i heard that almost no one voted for ron paul on super tuesday because he's david koresh reincarnate. i also heard that the "Diane" Special Agent Cooper is always talking to is actually his nickname for Hillary Clinton. He also threw a donut at a tree, and it got caught on a branch. this means that Ron Paul killed Laura Palmer.
If you caught all of those references, that probably means you're a big nerd. It also probably means that your name is Liz Ott.