(no subject)
What now.
Nothing really. Just working a lot... not so much with school. I'm kind of nervous about school. I know I'm not doing enough work to be successful. It is what it is, I suppose.
Charlie came over this week. Wednesday night, maybe? Yeah, I think it was. I just get the vibe that he likes to talk... a lot. And likes someone who will listen. IE: a girl that's 14 years YOUNGER than him. Can we say creepy? Granted, I've always loved older company... and I always date older. But I think there is something wrong... something weird with adjustment or acceptance or something of a 34 year old man that has been eyeing up a 20 year old for the past 2 months. I mean... he's really REALLY nice and has some interesting life experiences... but what could he possibly have in common with me? Me. A 20 year old girl. The furthest I have LIVED from my home town was Williamsport, 2 1/2 hours away from my little Jersey town. He's been all over the country, lived every where and seen everything. Me? My biggest statement is my now "trendy" eating habit.
So... needless to say... we think we're going to stop giving Charlie the impression that we're interested. He tried to kiss me when he left, and I turned it into a cheek-kiss, so it worked with minimal akward-ness... although... he winked at me and requested that I come to the kitchen the other day. Weird.
Anyways. Then there's Rian. Rian Rian Rian. I love the spelling of his name. And I'll admit, he's caught my eye since I started working there. Mainly... because while all the other guys were busy attacking me because I was fresh meat... he hardly did more than introduce himself and we got on with life. I actually didn't know for sure what his name was until a couple weeks ago. He rarely aknowledges me... and doesn't really pay much attention to me the way the other guys do... no hugs, no touching me in passing, no going out of his way to talk to me, no asking for my number, etc... Anyways... last weekend he found out I was supposed to go to a bar with some of the guys from work when we all got out... so he said, "so you don't think I'm a creep and trying to stalk you, I'll give you my number and you can choose whether or not to use it." So, I get his number... and I called him. Carolyn and I ended up going to hang out with him and this guy Jay after we went to the bar last weekend... anyways....
Talking to Jason on Wednesday, and he said something about oh yeah, no wonder you and Rian get along so well.. he's a vegetarian too... which strikes my interest because I didn't know that and because I didn't really think we talked often enough to "get along." Anyways... I saw him Thursday night and was like, "Soooo... I hear that you're a vegetarian" And he just played it off, so I was like HEY ME TOO! Which caught his attention. For the next hour or so we talked about it little by little, in passing, which was interesting. Found out why he is, he asked why am, how long, etc. Then I was upstairs checking on tables and he just came up to me and was like, "Hey, do you want to get a drink tonight?" So I said I would love to, but I don't have a car... and he volunteered to take me home from work and take me out to get a drink. I said that my roommate was going to pick me up, but we could still hang out. I forgot to say goodbye, but I sent him a text telling him to call if he still wanted to do something. Well, he didn't call. But the next day he was all like, "HEY! You didn't say goodbye to me and I didn't get your text until almost 2 am!" So, I told him to call me when he got out of work that night. Aaaand then I went to the bar with Cory. Whoops! But he texted me the whole time I was there and we agreed that we'd hang out when I was done at the bar. So, I get home around 2:30-ish? He comes over. And we hang out and talk, talk, talk. We put on Kiss Kiss, Bang Bang... but didn't see any of it. We just talked about everything... suprisingly, not about being vegetarians. We talked about books, psychology, a mutual fascination with Carl Jung, music, living situations, experiences, etc. And what suprised me the MOST was that he listened. He really, REALLY listened. He looked me in the eye. He didn't try to debate what I was saying or anything like that... he just listened. Let me talk, and REMEMBERED IT. I'm in shock still. After a while he was like, "I should leave so you can get some sleep" because apparently he's like my roommate and never sleeps. So, jokingly I apologized for him not actually being able to see the movie and he gave a great answer-- he said he'd rather talk than watch a movie any day. Good call, really.
So, he left and Shaun wouldn't go to bed until he left, so I went in to talk to him. Apparently, Shaun really feels strongly about not liking him... and doesn't want me to even THINK about considering him as a potential boyfriend. I'm really not looking that far ahead, but Shaun's just making it very clear that he doesn't like him.
Saturday Shaun made me cry. Well, he didn't make me cry... I chose to cry out of frustration. It really really frustrates me when I try my hardest to explain myself-- or when I choose to not tell people the whole story-- and people can't accept that as an all right answer or the truth. Shaun was inquiring about the whole vegetarianism thing... and I usually give my generic answer, but he pried and pried and I told him the whole thing.. then he started passing judgements. Which really hurt me. So I started getting frustrated that my answers weren't good enough for me and I cried... a lot. He felt bad though and ended up giving me a couple hugs.. which never happens voluntarily. I started rambling on and on and on about why I have such strong feelings, about how I can't even kiss a guy after he's eaten meat and about how hurt I get when guys can't understand that, about how the reason we have the kitten is because I couldn't fathom letting her stay outside to fend for herself at 14 ounces and 3 weeks old. Then he told me that most hardcore vegetarians are studying liberal arts or science or marine biology... or something related to that to help animals... and I'm studying people, so what good am I... and that me not eating meat isn't doing anything to save animals.... which REALLY threw me over the edge. I was kinda proud of myself for being able to use my words and tell him that that comment hurt me but then I ranted and raved about it anyways... realized I had 20 minutes to get my ass to work and had to start getting ready. Oh, end result? Shaun just didn't think he could get the whole, down and dirty story out of me without getting me a little on the defensive... and he thinks I'm selling myself short for not going that extra step to become a vegan.
And of course I went into work with swollen eyes and a pout on my face. Not many people noticed. Rian asked what was up.. so I told him and he was kinda confused as to why he would do that... but I explained and he understood... but that didn't mean he thought it was right. So... Shaun hates Rian because he thinks he a toolbag... and yes, that is exactly what Shaun said. Shaun feels like Rian is an elitist asshole... I think he's just intelligent. Shaun also doesn't like Charlie... because a) his name is Charlie and b) he's 34 and I'm 20. Rian hasn't said anything about roomie. Charlie doesn't understand how someone could make/let me cry.. but I don't think he dislikes my roomie. Oh, decisions, decisions.
Who knows. I don't have to think about it too much yet.. I'm still getting to know a lot of people.
It's weird... I have a lot of criteria I want someone to fit into... but I find myself bending that. I told Shaun, I feel like if I don't give everyone a chance I'll never see what's out there, I'll never learn what I don't want, and I'll never see what wonderful things I could have.
So, I don't have a lot of criteria... I have like 4. But still. They're difficult. Maybe. Actually probably not. Breathing might be one of them.
Anyways... I'm really liking Bukowski by Modest Mouse right now. Hell, who am I kidding? I'm on a Modest Mouse kick. Lets face it: their lyrics just rock and their music is wonderful. I really enjoy it, and I'm usually not a mellow-indie-ish person. But the lyrics are just so... real... and wonderful. And great.
In other news? I'm a year away from being a degree-toting psychologist. How scary is that? Not so much for me, but for other people. Really... do you want me inspecting your mind?
Cambria has a boo-boo and I'm really torn up about it! It looks like she was chewing on something and somehow managed to make right under her mouth bleed. Shaun's telling me I'm not allowed to have kids because I'm so upset about this. I have NO CLUE what she got into. Really. None at all. I need to figure it out though, it's killing me. I thought maybe she chewed through a wire and it shocked her, but who knows. None of her toys are sharp. I really want to call the vet but Shaun wont let me because she's still being her normal crazy self... just with a little bit of a split lip.
I really, REALLY REALLY need to get my tattoo finished. It's bothering me now and I know it's going to hurt since I haven't been in a while.
Until next time....
Nothing really. Just working a lot... not so much with school. I'm kind of nervous about school. I know I'm not doing enough work to be successful. It is what it is, I suppose.
Charlie came over this week. Wednesday night, maybe? Yeah, I think it was. I just get the vibe that he likes to talk... a lot. And likes someone who will listen. IE: a girl that's 14 years YOUNGER than him. Can we say creepy? Granted, I've always loved older company... and I always date older. But I think there is something wrong... something weird with adjustment or acceptance or something of a 34 year old man that has been eyeing up a 20 year old for the past 2 months. I mean... he's really REALLY nice and has some interesting life experiences... but what could he possibly have in common with me? Me. A 20 year old girl. The furthest I have LIVED from my home town was Williamsport, 2 1/2 hours away from my little Jersey town. He's been all over the country, lived every where and seen everything. Me? My biggest statement is my now "trendy" eating habit.
So... needless to say... we think we're going to stop giving Charlie the impression that we're interested. He tried to kiss me when he left, and I turned it into a cheek-kiss, so it worked with minimal akward-ness... although... he winked at me and requested that I come to the kitchen the other day. Weird.
Anyways. Then there's Rian. Rian Rian Rian. I love the spelling of his name. And I'll admit, he's caught my eye since I started working there. Mainly... because while all the other guys were busy attacking me because I was fresh meat... he hardly did more than introduce himself and we got on with life. I actually didn't know for sure what his name was until a couple weeks ago. He rarely aknowledges me... and doesn't really pay much attention to me the way the other guys do... no hugs, no touching me in passing, no going out of his way to talk to me, no asking for my number, etc... Anyways... last weekend he found out I was supposed to go to a bar with some of the guys from work when we all got out... so he said, "so you don't think I'm a creep and trying to stalk you, I'll give you my number and you can choose whether or not to use it." So, I get his number... and I called him. Carolyn and I ended up going to hang out with him and this guy Jay after we went to the bar last weekend... anyways....
Talking to Jason on Wednesday, and he said something about oh yeah, no wonder you and Rian get along so well.. he's a vegetarian too... which strikes my interest because I didn't know that and because I didn't really think we talked often enough to "get along." Anyways... I saw him Thursday night and was like, "Soooo... I hear that you're a vegetarian" And he just played it off, so I was like HEY ME TOO! Which caught his attention. For the next hour or so we talked about it little by little, in passing, which was interesting. Found out why he is, he asked why am, how long, etc. Then I was upstairs checking on tables and he just came up to me and was like, "Hey, do you want to get a drink tonight?" So I said I would love to, but I don't have a car... and he volunteered to take me home from work and take me out to get a drink. I said that my roommate was going to pick me up, but we could still hang out. I forgot to say goodbye, but I sent him a text telling him to call if he still wanted to do something. Well, he didn't call. But the next day he was all like, "HEY! You didn't say goodbye to me and I didn't get your text until almost 2 am!" So, I told him to call me when he got out of work that night. Aaaand then I went to the bar with Cory. Whoops! But he texted me the whole time I was there and we agreed that we'd hang out when I was done at the bar. So, I get home around 2:30-ish? He comes over. And we hang out and talk, talk, talk. We put on Kiss Kiss, Bang Bang... but didn't see any of it. We just talked about everything... suprisingly, not about being vegetarians. We talked about books, psychology, a mutual fascination with Carl Jung, music, living situations, experiences, etc. And what suprised me the MOST was that he listened. He really, REALLY listened. He looked me in the eye. He didn't try to debate what I was saying or anything like that... he just listened. Let me talk, and REMEMBERED IT. I'm in shock still. After a while he was like, "I should leave so you can get some sleep" because apparently he's like my roommate and never sleeps. So, jokingly I apologized for him not actually being able to see the movie and he gave a great answer-- he said he'd rather talk than watch a movie any day. Good call, really.
So, he left and Shaun wouldn't go to bed until he left, so I went in to talk to him. Apparently, Shaun really feels strongly about not liking him... and doesn't want me to even THINK about considering him as a potential boyfriend. I'm really not looking that far ahead, but Shaun's just making it very clear that he doesn't like him.
Saturday Shaun made me cry. Well, he didn't make me cry... I chose to cry out of frustration. It really really frustrates me when I try my hardest to explain myself-- or when I choose to not tell people the whole story-- and people can't accept that as an all right answer or the truth. Shaun was inquiring about the whole vegetarianism thing... and I usually give my generic answer, but he pried and pried and I told him the whole thing.. then he started passing judgements. Which really hurt me. So I started getting frustrated that my answers weren't good enough for me and I cried... a lot. He felt bad though and ended up giving me a couple hugs.. which never happens voluntarily. I started rambling on and on and on about why I have such strong feelings, about how I can't even kiss a guy after he's eaten meat and about how hurt I get when guys can't understand that, about how the reason we have the kitten is because I couldn't fathom letting her stay outside to fend for herself at 14 ounces and 3 weeks old. Then he told me that most hardcore vegetarians are studying liberal arts or science or marine biology... or something related to that to help animals... and I'm studying people, so what good am I... and that me not eating meat isn't doing anything to save animals.... which REALLY threw me over the edge. I was kinda proud of myself for being able to use my words and tell him that that comment hurt me but then I ranted and raved about it anyways... realized I had 20 minutes to get my ass to work and had to start getting ready. Oh, end result? Shaun just didn't think he could get the whole, down and dirty story out of me without getting me a little on the defensive... and he thinks I'm selling myself short for not going that extra step to become a vegan.
And of course I went into work with swollen eyes and a pout on my face. Not many people noticed. Rian asked what was up.. so I told him and he was kinda confused as to why he would do that... but I explained and he understood... but that didn't mean he thought it was right. So... Shaun hates Rian because he thinks he a toolbag... and yes, that is exactly what Shaun said. Shaun feels like Rian is an elitist asshole... I think he's just intelligent. Shaun also doesn't like Charlie... because a) his name is Charlie and b) he's 34 and I'm 20. Rian hasn't said anything about roomie. Charlie doesn't understand how someone could make/let me cry.. but I don't think he dislikes my roomie. Oh, decisions, decisions.
Who knows. I don't have to think about it too much yet.. I'm still getting to know a lot of people.
It's weird... I have a lot of criteria I want someone to fit into... but I find myself bending that. I told Shaun, I feel like if I don't give everyone a chance I'll never see what's out there, I'll never learn what I don't want, and I'll never see what wonderful things I could have.
So, I don't have a lot of criteria... I have like 4. But still. They're difficult. Maybe. Actually probably not. Breathing might be one of them.
Anyways... I'm really liking Bukowski by Modest Mouse right now. Hell, who am I kidding? I'm on a Modest Mouse kick. Lets face it: their lyrics just rock and their music is wonderful. I really enjoy it, and I'm usually not a mellow-indie-ish person. But the lyrics are just so... real... and wonderful. And great.
In other news? I'm a year away from being a degree-toting psychologist. How scary is that? Not so much for me, but for other people. Really... do you want me inspecting your mind?
Cambria has a boo-boo and I'm really torn up about it! It looks like she was chewing on something and somehow managed to make right under her mouth bleed. Shaun's telling me I'm not allowed to have kids because I'm so upset about this. I have NO CLUE what she got into. Really. None at all. I need to figure it out though, it's killing me. I thought maybe she chewed through a wire and it shocked her, but who knows. None of her toys are sharp. I really want to call the vet but Shaun wont let me because she's still being her normal crazy self... just with a little bit of a split lip.
I really, REALLY REALLY need to get my tattoo finished. It's bothering me now and I know it's going to hurt since I haven't been in a while.
Until next time....