dry your eyes mate
Well I guess Brian and my relationship is now coming to an end. It is so heartbreaking and I can't stop crying. We have put this off for so long and now the time is coming for us to part. He only has one month left till he is going to graduate and move back home to NR to live with his parents for a month until he moves to NJ for his job in June. I wish there was something that I could do to make it last longer until he has to leave but I know there isnt. I want to spend this last month with him as much as possible, but he says that it will only make it harder for him to leave me because he will only be more attached. As much as I hate to admit it, he is right. I just dont want to waste this last month and time we have to be together. Even if we dont spend a lot of time together, it will hurt just as much for me either way. When he leaves it will be completely different. At least now I have the comfort of knowing that he is still here.
It's just not fair. He has been the perfect boyfriend and I could never ask for anything more. We shared so many things, but now everything is changing. He was my first everything, and I dont want all of that to go away.We arent the same anymore. I think it is because we have been so afraid of him leaving and how everything is going to change. I want to always be with him, but he says we are too different, and deep down I know that we are.He is so amazing, but we really are different. I think being different is good to some extent, but add that to being in two totally different places it just doesnt work.
He thinks it is all his fault but it really isnt. We met and fell in love at the wrong time.He is finishing college and beginning his life and career, and that is bringing him to NJ. I wish I could go with him, but I am just starting college and have 3 more years left. I guess that is just how life works sometimes. It's not fair and it's not what anyone wants, but unfortunately that is how it is. Things change, people change because of certain circumstances, and people have to start a new life at some point of their lives. I wish with all of my heart that this happened 3-4 years from now so it could probably could work out, but that just isn't how it worked out. Maybe it will still be there and will be able to work out again then, but right now I have to focus on now. I am only 19 and have to date other people before I actually settle down with someone. Maybe it will be him, but maybe not. If it isn't, then it just wasn't meant to be even though we want it to be.
The only thing that keeps me going and will get me through this is knowing we love each other and care about each other. I know I will have to let it fade over time, but I know that won't be for awhile. I cant just forget about someone who I have shared so much with over a long period of time. Especially him because he really is special. He is so unlike any other guy I have ever met, he is actually genuine and really cares. I know that there will be others and the whole "there are other fish in the sea" thing, but they still aren't him. I dont think I will ever meet someone like him again.
I know that at some point it will get easier, but I don't know how to get through it till that time comes.
It's just not fair. He has been the perfect boyfriend and I could never ask for anything more. We shared so many things, but now everything is changing. He was my first everything, and I dont want all of that to go away.We arent the same anymore. I think it is because we have been so afraid of him leaving and how everything is going to change. I want to always be with him, but he says we are too different, and deep down I know that we are.He is so amazing, but we really are different. I think being different is good to some extent, but add that to being in two totally different places it just doesnt work.
He thinks it is all his fault but it really isnt. We met and fell in love at the wrong time.He is finishing college and beginning his life and career, and that is bringing him to NJ. I wish I could go with him, but I am just starting college and have 3 more years left. I guess that is just how life works sometimes. It's not fair and it's not what anyone wants, but unfortunately that is how it is. Things change, people change because of certain circumstances, and people have to start a new life at some point of their lives. I wish with all of my heart that this happened 3-4 years from now so it could probably could work out, but that just isn't how it worked out. Maybe it will still be there and will be able to work out again then, but right now I have to focus on now. I am only 19 and have to date other people before I actually settle down with someone. Maybe it will be him, but maybe not. If it isn't, then it just wasn't meant to be even though we want it to be.
The only thing that keeps me going and will get me through this is knowing we love each other and care about each other. I know I will have to let it fade over time, but I know that won't be for awhile. I cant just forget about someone who I have shared so much with over a long period of time. Especially him because he really is special. He is so unlike any other guy I have ever met, he is actually genuine and really cares. I know that there will be others and the whole "there are other fish in the sea" thing, but they still aren't him. I dont think I will ever meet someone like him again.
I know that at some point it will get easier, but I don't know how to get through it till that time comes.