(no subject)
i have finished reading every entry in my journal. i am slightly horrified, ashamed, and tickled all at the same time. the best singular entry i found was probably a bunch of ♥ and then "one for every day you've hurt me. oh, by the way [perhaps it was speaking of which], ♥." i don't even know, man.
then i started glancing at my friends' (in some cases, ex friends', funny how things change) journals, and this was kelsey's last:
I'm quitting LiveJournal because, frankly, it makes me angry. The only people who are still active are 8th graders and each of them posts at least 6,986,974 times a day, usually regarding subjects that make me ashamed to be a part of the human race. Despite all this, I'm going to keep this journal for memory's sake. Have a nice life, everyone.
allison had commented:
i still post 100 times a day, yeah about stupid things also
whooohooo! go embarassing human race! i'm in there with eli and scot!
it's so true.
what's interesting is that i've recently been speaking with chandler a lot about change and how i've changed and how happy with the person I now am. (when you start looking for Synchronicity, it's everywhere)* i remember having a discussion with molly about change about a year ago or so, but she chided and dismissed me saying that i was still that person. i don't believe it whole-heartedly, but it's stuck with me - that this person whose voice i am reading on this livejournal is still my voice, although it may have changed (love unintentional shit like that.). the way i used to over exaggerate things and think i was so special... i don't think i am as special anymore (i do however now subscribe to the belief that everyone, including me, is special), but i still do tend to over exaggerate things, i guess it's an inherent need for attention that is kind of shameful, but, oh well, what are you going to do. at this point, you may be thinking, "not broadcast it, that's for sure!", but to my knowledge there are only three candidates for people who read this, so, meh. i want to type that i make better choices than i did then, but that is not true, i just make very different kinds of bad choices.
anyway, the fact remains that i am now very happy, in particular with the person i now am! but thanks (non sarcastic) to molly i will always remember that i am always scot at my core. i just sincerely hope that in a couple years when i look back on my 10th grade self, i am not ashamed, or horrified. it would greatly sadden my present-then-past self, so pleased with himself, that my future-then-present self was so unhappy with him.
as the simpsons said,
"i like me, i like me,
i'm as good as i can be,
with a smile and a wave and a happy melody,
i'm as good as i can be." (hopefully!)
*Synchronicity: A Jungian term for a meaningful coincidence that has a low probability of being a random or chance event. recent examples in my life:
1)this entry, reading my livejournal, Chandler, etcetera.
2)over the summer, my cousin and i were talking about music and i mentioned ethel merman and she's like, i've never heard of her, so i played a song. that night we watched Airplane!, where there is a scene of someone impersonating ethel merman. later we played cranium, and she got a card that told her she had to imitate ethel merman.
3)one night when i watched jeopardy! and the category was something like, which of the beatles, and the answer to each of the five clues was one of the beatles. i guessed george harrison for two in the row, and my mom said that they wouldn't repeat names in a category like this (they often do, actually), and i noted that there were only four beatles, but she started talking about the original drummer whose name she couldn't remember. after finishing jeopardy we watched trivial pursuit and one of the questions was, who was the other original drummer of the beatles?
4)in spanish there was something in a story we were reading about giving to the poor and june (our teacher) asked us if we knew what the word for that was. none of us knew, and she told us it was alms. the next night, i watched the thief of baghdad (the remake from 1940) and basically the first line was "alms for the blind." a few days later i watched ben-hur, in which an old man asks for "alms for the poor." then a couple days later in theatre class someone improvised the line "alms for the poor."
then i started glancing at my friends' (in some cases, ex friends', funny how things change) journals, and this was kelsey's last:
I'm quitting LiveJournal because, frankly, it makes me angry. The only people who are still active are 8th graders and each of them posts at least 6,986,974 times a day, usually regarding subjects that make me ashamed to be a part of the human race. Despite all this, I'm going to keep this journal for memory's sake. Have a nice life, everyone.
allison had commented:
i still post 100 times a day, yeah about stupid things also
whooohooo! go embarassing human race! i'm in there with eli and scot!
it's so true.
what's interesting is that i've recently been speaking with chandler a lot about change and how i've changed and how happy with the person I now am. (when you start looking for Synchronicity, it's everywhere)* i remember having a discussion with molly about change about a year ago or so, but she chided and dismissed me saying that i was still that person. i don't believe it whole-heartedly, but it's stuck with me - that this person whose voice i am reading on this livejournal is still my voice, although it may have changed (love unintentional shit like that.). the way i used to over exaggerate things and think i was so special... i don't think i am as special anymore (i do however now subscribe to the belief that everyone, including me, is special), but i still do tend to over exaggerate things, i guess it's an inherent need for attention that is kind of shameful, but, oh well, what are you going to do. at this point, you may be thinking, "not broadcast it, that's for sure!", but to my knowledge there are only three candidates for people who read this, so, meh. i want to type that i make better choices than i did then, but that is not true, i just make very different kinds of bad choices.
anyway, the fact remains that i am now very happy, in particular with the person i now am! but thanks (non sarcastic) to molly i will always remember that i am always scot at my core. i just sincerely hope that in a couple years when i look back on my 10th grade self, i am not ashamed, or horrified. it would greatly sadden my present-then-past self, so pleased with himself, that my future-then-present self was so unhappy with him.
as the simpsons said,
"i like me, i like me,
i'm as good as i can be,
with a smile and a wave and a happy melody,
i'm as good as i can be." (hopefully!)
*Synchronicity: A Jungian term for a meaningful coincidence that has a low probability of being a random or chance event. recent examples in my life:
1)this entry, reading my livejournal, Chandler, etcetera.
2)over the summer, my cousin and i were talking about music and i mentioned ethel merman and she's like, i've never heard of her, so i played a song. that night we watched Airplane!, where there is a scene of someone impersonating ethel merman. later we played cranium, and she got a card that told her she had to imitate ethel merman.
3)one night when i watched jeopardy! and the category was something like, which of the beatles, and the answer to each of the five clues was one of the beatles. i guessed george harrison for two in the row, and my mom said that they wouldn't repeat names in a category like this (they often do, actually), and i noted that there were only four beatles, but she started talking about the original drummer whose name she couldn't remember. after finishing jeopardy we watched trivial pursuit and one of the questions was, who was the other original drummer of the beatles?
4)in spanish there was something in a story we were reading about giving to the poor and june (our teacher) asked us if we knew what the word for that was. none of us knew, and she told us it was alms. the next night, i watched the thief of baghdad (the remake from 1940) and basically the first line was "alms for the blind." a few days later i watched ben-hur, in which an old man asks for "alms for the poor." then a couple days later in theatre class someone improvised the line "alms for the poor."