In my youth

[i__killed_it]

I have been thinking about being older and having children. I think I'd like to be in my mid thirty's when I have kids. I also don't know for sure if I want kids really. Being the oldest of Seven kids and taking care of them for pretty much their whole lives, you tend not to think about kids of your own too much. I pretty much want independence from everything. I want to try and go back to school, learn something and be able not only to do better for myself, but for any future spawn I may/ may not have. I right now not having kids is best for me. and even if everyone around me are getting pregnant and creating life, I am happy just fawning over their kids.

I have been having alot of heavy thoughts lately, things that could change my life dramatically. I am tired of living in this day to day routine. I am not happy and I need to be happy in some point in life my life. Sorry for the emo stuff, I am not sad about life, i know what I need to do in other to get to some satisfaction. I don't think that life is gonna be "peachy keen" but if it's going in the direction I want it to I'd be happy to take on the strain.

And first things first,Me.