(no subject)
so now that i finally told zach to his face that i like him. i feel like shit.
yes.
i should write how my fucking lovely shitty day went.
so i had to wake up at 7:45 to get ready for church that starts at 9:45.
we got there at 10.
church ended at 11 or 12 or something & i told zach that alyshia said shes sorry she didnt call him.
he said okay.
i asked him why.
he said he met her at a party.
.. i knew SOMETHING happened because he looked away.
i asked if he made out with her. & he couldnt look at me in the eyes.
so he did make out with her & i got really really upset & was mean at him at first. i refused to buy his band pins & i told him i liked mike better as the guitarist instead of him. i lied.
so then me & lydia & zach went to jamba juice & i didnt talk to zach but just sat there not talking. we talked over to target & he kept trying to follow me & i knew he was trying to talk to me but i kept walking away & kept walking around in isles to get him lost. i did a good job too. so then we went to mervyns & i was compeltely ignoring him & giving him the cold shoulder. i sat down on floor while lydia was picking thermals out to try on & he sat infront of me asking me why i was being like this & i said its because shes my friend & all this crap & he said so what & i said i lost all respect for him because he got drunk & he said its because i dont want him to makeout with anyone & i said no its because you made out with my friend & we kept going back & forth then we fell silent. i thought he was gonna cry. he kept looking at him but i kept looking at everything other than him. then i was like: "zach. to me.. its like you made out with lydia.. thats how much it hurts me" & he just sighed. then we fell silent & i said: "zach. why do you think i'm so upset?" zach: "i have a few ideas..maybe its because you dont want me to make out with girls?" me: "no." zach: "..hm" me: "anyother guesses>?" zach: "i have a few" then we fell silet & i was like: "ZACH ITS BECAUSE I LIKE YOU. A LOT. OKAY." zach: "i know" & yea thats mostly it. then we went to sports cheveleeeeeeee store place & i played golf most of the time & zach was being all depressed & him & lydia went into the golf room to talk about everything going on at the moment & then lydia talked to me saying he feels really bad & no ones ever cared for him so much to tell him this stuff & he doesnt know what to do & all this stuff. but the thing is.. in the end.. it doesnt matter. even if i gave him my life, my heart.. it wouldnt matter. nothing would ever matter like that between us to. not to him atleast. i mean... nvm i feel like crying now.
yes.
i should write how my fucking lovely shitty day went.
so i had to wake up at 7:45 to get ready for church that starts at 9:45.
we got there at 10.
church ended at 11 or 12 or something & i told zach that alyshia said shes sorry she didnt call him.
he said okay.
i asked him why.
he said he met her at a party.
.. i knew SOMETHING happened because he looked away.
i asked if he made out with her. & he couldnt look at me in the eyes.
so he did make out with her & i got really really upset & was mean at him at first. i refused to buy his band pins & i told him i liked mike better as the guitarist instead of him. i lied.
so then me & lydia & zach went to jamba juice & i didnt talk to zach but just sat there not talking. we talked over to target & he kept trying to follow me & i knew he was trying to talk to me but i kept walking away & kept walking around in isles to get him lost. i did a good job too. so then we went to mervyns & i was compeltely ignoring him & giving him the cold shoulder. i sat down on floor while lydia was picking thermals out to try on & he sat infront of me asking me why i was being like this & i said its because shes my friend & all this crap & he said so what & i said i lost all respect for him because he got drunk & he said its because i dont want him to makeout with anyone & i said no its because you made out with my friend & we kept going back & forth then we fell silent. i thought he was gonna cry. he kept looking at him but i kept looking at everything other than him. then i was like: "zach. to me.. its like you made out with lydia.. thats how much it hurts me" & he just sighed. then we fell silent & i said: "zach. why do you think i'm so upset?" zach: "i have a few ideas..maybe its because you dont want me to make out with girls?" me: "no." zach: "..hm" me: "anyother guesses>?" zach: "i have a few" then we fell silet & i was like: "ZACH ITS BECAUSE I LIKE YOU. A LOT. OKAY." zach: "i know" & yea thats mostly it. then we went to sports cheveleeeeeeee store place & i played golf most of the time & zach was being all depressed & him & lydia went into the golf room to talk about everything going on at the moment & then lydia talked to me saying he feels really bad & no ones ever cared for him so much to tell him this stuff & he doesnt know what to do & all this stuff. but the thing is.. in the end.. it doesnt matter. even if i gave him my life, my heart.. it wouldnt matter. nothing would ever matter like that between us to. not to him atleast. i mean... nvm i feel like crying now.