LJ Idol, Season 10 Week 14: Campfire Stories
“So what I'm going to tell you is absolutely, 100 percent true. It happened to me, on a night. Just. Like. This. With the moon hiding behind the clouds so you couldn't see anything unless you were using the flashlight on your phone. And there was the fog, just like the fog creeping around this campsite tonight.
“Caitlyn, if you get any of that marshmallow on my clothes, I'm gonna skin you alive, you understand me? You see if I'm joking.
“So anyway, I was parked, with Eric, up in these hills-the same hills we're camping in tonight...
“Yes, Cindy, we were making out. We're teenagers and I have a car. What do you expect us to do? God!
“Anyway, we were in the car, and we started hearing this scraping noise on the roof. Eric wanted to investigate, but I told him not to, because I'd heard a rumor that a homicidal maniac had escaped from the insane asylum that's hidden in the woods.
“Yes, Mark, I know it was super stupid to go out to the woods alone with a maniac on the loose. It was the only place we could get some privacy. You'll understand when you get older. Now shut up and let me tell it.
“So anyway, Eric goes out to look anyway, because he's really brave, and he's holding up his phone to look at the roof, when suddenly he looks scared. I hear another noise on the roof, and this time it sounds like footsteps. Eric backs away from the car, and suddenly this figure jumps off the roof and starts walking towards Eric. But after it gets a few steps away from the car, it turns around to look at me. And in the light of Eric's phone, I get a good look at it.
“I was just getting to that, Mark! God!
“It was a man wearing overalls and nothing else. He was really tall, and he was fat-but it looked like there was solid muscle under all the flab. He wore shitkicker cowboy boots. And I can't decide what the worst part is-the fact that he had a hook instead of a hand, or the innocent-looking rubber clown mask he wore over his face.
“He pointed to me with his hook hand and turned back to Eric. So Eric ran into the woods.
“No, Cindy, Eric is not a coward! He was trying to lure the maniac away from me is what he was doing. He's so brave, my Eric.
“But it didn't work, because the maniac let him go, and he turned his attention to me. I'd already tried calling 911, but you can't get any reception in these woods. So I tried to start the car, and it wouldn't go. I don't know why it chose that moment to break down, but it did.
“Yes, Mark, I know it's a piece of shit, but it's all my family can afford. We aren't all fortunate enough to have wealthy parents who can buy us whatever we want.
“So the maniac comes up on the driver's side window and looks inside, and I get a look at his eyes through the mask. They're icy blue, and they're full of so much hatred. So I start screaming and screaming, and I think he's laughing at me, and that makes me scream harder. He takes a step back, and he raises his arm, and he smashes the window with his hook hand.
“I think I need to go pee. I'll be right back.”
Minutes pass.
“Okay, I'm back. Now where was I?
“There is too an insane asylum out here, Mark! It's hidden in the woods so nobody knows it's there. Just ask anybody. Now, can I continue?
“So he smashes the window, and he starts slashing with his hook hand, but I keep wriggling away from him. I don't know how long I can keep that up, though.
“And then I hear a thumping noise, and something drags him out of the window. A normal human hand reaches inside, unlocks the door, and opens it. A woman grabs my hand and says, 'Run.' She doesn't say another word as she leads me into the woods. I looked back at the maniac, who was on his butt, but starting to get back up. But after I kept tripping, I thought maybe it would be better if I looked ahead.
“We stopped to catch our breath, and she told me her name, which I totally forgot in the heat of the moment. I wanna say it was Ralph, but that can't be right. She asks me why I didn't just drive away and if I came with anybody.
“My eyes finally adjusted to the darkness, so I got a pretty good look at her. She had really curly hair, either dark brown or black, with gray streaks running through it. She didn't look old enough to have gray hair, though, so it must have been dyed. She wore a sweater vest and a necktie for some reason and tennis shoes. Basically she was really weird. But she saved my life, so I was willing to overlook that.
“I guess she was cute, Mark. I don't look at girls that way.
“So she tells me that the maniac is something called a 'tulpa.' A tulpa is what happens when enough people believe in a thing that it becomes real out of thin air.
“No, Mark, I don't think Santa Claus is a tulpa. No, I don't know why.
“She tells me that the land here is enchanted with all sorts of psychic energy, like a swamp, so that when a rumor started about a patient escaping from a nearby mental hospital, it took the shape of the scariest thing this town could imagine.
“She also told me she was the only one who could stop it. Then she said she probably wasn't the only one, but she happened to be in the area, so...
“The maniac caught up to us and we ran some more. We stopped again, and she started digging through her messenger bag and pulled out some stuff: a big jar of dried herbs-like the kind you make dinner with; a spray bottle; and a butterfly knife-and let me tell you, when she opened it by flipping it around, it was really cool.
“She used the knife to dig a line in the soil between some trees, and she filled that hole up with the herbs. And then we waited.
“The maniac showed up again, and when he saw me, he made this sound like a roar and ran in my direction. I tried to run away, but she caught me and made me stay. I about crapped myself. But when he tried to cross the line she made in the dirt, he bounced back like he hit a brick wall. He tried it again, and the same thing happened.
“And then, as he was standing there, telling us how he was going to torture us to death, she walks right up to him and squirts him in the face with the spray bottle. He acts like it's acid. And while he's on his knees, howling in pain, she walks right up to him, spreads her arms does something weird with her fingers, and starts talking in a foreign language. After a while, the maniac falls all the way down, and I can't see him through all the plants on the ground.
“She calls me over, but I'm too scared to come, so she grabs my arm, and drags me over, and the maniac is gone. Like he never existed. He couldn't have gotten away-I would have seen him. He just disappeared.
“It's not bullshit, Mark! This happened to me exactly like I'm telling you here. I'm not making up a damn thing!
“Oh my God, no, I'm not! Have you seen my car? I have to get a new driver's side window, and my roof is all scratched up. You tell me how that happened. Or better yet, ask Eric. He saw the maniac too.
“Yeah, he saw her too. Because when she walked me back to my car, I told her that Eric was missing, and she ran back into the woods to find him. And she found him! He told her that he was trying to lure the maniac away from me, and she believed him. One look at Eric and you can tell he's not a coward.
“So anyway, without a psycho killer around, we were able to start my car, and I came home.
“It's not bullshit, Mark! God! All I wanted to do was tell you about something really creepy that happened to me, and you have to jump all over me and call me a liar.
“Oh, yeah, I'd love for you to tell a scary story.
“Really? Let's hear it. And it has to be absolutely, 100 percent true.”
“Caitlyn, if you get any of that marshmallow on my clothes, I'm gonna skin you alive, you understand me? You see if I'm joking.
“So anyway, I was parked, with Eric, up in these hills-the same hills we're camping in tonight...
“Yes, Cindy, we were making out. We're teenagers and I have a car. What do you expect us to do? God!
“Anyway, we were in the car, and we started hearing this scraping noise on the roof. Eric wanted to investigate, but I told him not to, because I'd heard a rumor that a homicidal maniac had escaped from the insane asylum that's hidden in the woods.
“Yes, Mark, I know it was super stupid to go out to the woods alone with a maniac on the loose. It was the only place we could get some privacy. You'll understand when you get older. Now shut up and let me tell it.
“So anyway, Eric goes out to look anyway, because he's really brave, and he's holding up his phone to look at the roof, when suddenly he looks scared. I hear another noise on the roof, and this time it sounds like footsteps. Eric backs away from the car, and suddenly this figure jumps off the roof and starts walking towards Eric. But after it gets a few steps away from the car, it turns around to look at me. And in the light of Eric's phone, I get a good look at it.
“I was just getting to that, Mark! God!
“It was a man wearing overalls and nothing else. He was really tall, and he was fat-but it looked like there was solid muscle under all the flab. He wore shitkicker cowboy boots. And I can't decide what the worst part is-the fact that he had a hook instead of a hand, or the innocent-looking rubber clown mask he wore over his face.
“He pointed to me with his hook hand and turned back to Eric. So Eric ran into the woods.
“No, Cindy, Eric is not a coward! He was trying to lure the maniac away from me is what he was doing. He's so brave, my Eric.
“But it didn't work, because the maniac let him go, and he turned his attention to me. I'd already tried calling 911, but you can't get any reception in these woods. So I tried to start the car, and it wouldn't go. I don't know why it chose that moment to break down, but it did.
“Yes, Mark, I know it's a piece of shit, but it's all my family can afford. We aren't all fortunate enough to have wealthy parents who can buy us whatever we want.
“So the maniac comes up on the driver's side window and looks inside, and I get a look at his eyes through the mask. They're icy blue, and they're full of so much hatred. So I start screaming and screaming, and I think he's laughing at me, and that makes me scream harder. He takes a step back, and he raises his arm, and he smashes the window with his hook hand.
“I think I need to go pee. I'll be right back.”
Minutes pass.
“Okay, I'm back. Now where was I?
“There is too an insane asylum out here, Mark! It's hidden in the woods so nobody knows it's there. Just ask anybody. Now, can I continue?
“So he smashes the window, and he starts slashing with his hook hand, but I keep wriggling away from him. I don't know how long I can keep that up, though.
“And then I hear a thumping noise, and something drags him out of the window. A normal human hand reaches inside, unlocks the door, and opens it. A woman grabs my hand and says, 'Run.' She doesn't say another word as she leads me into the woods. I looked back at the maniac, who was on his butt, but starting to get back up. But after I kept tripping, I thought maybe it would be better if I looked ahead.
“We stopped to catch our breath, and she told me her name, which I totally forgot in the heat of the moment. I wanna say it was Ralph, but that can't be right. She asks me why I didn't just drive away and if I came with anybody.
“My eyes finally adjusted to the darkness, so I got a pretty good look at her. She had really curly hair, either dark brown or black, with gray streaks running through it. She didn't look old enough to have gray hair, though, so it must have been dyed. She wore a sweater vest and a necktie for some reason and tennis shoes. Basically she was really weird. But she saved my life, so I was willing to overlook that.
“I guess she was cute, Mark. I don't look at girls that way.
“So she tells me that the maniac is something called a 'tulpa.' A tulpa is what happens when enough people believe in a thing that it becomes real out of thin air.
“No, Mark, I don't think Santa Claus is a tulpa. No, I don't know why.
“She tells me that the land here is enchanted with all sorts of psychic energy, like a swamp, so that when a rumor started about a patient escaping from a nearby mental hospital, it took the shape of the scariest thing this town could imagine.
“She also told me she was the only one who could stop it. Then she said she probably wasn't the only one, but she happened to be in the area, so...
“The maniac caught up to us and we ran some more. We stopped again, and she started digging through her messenger bag and pulled out some stuff: a big jar of dried herbs-like the kind you make dinner with; a spray bottle; and a butterfly knife-and let me tell you, when she opened it by flipping it around, it was really cool.
“She used the knife to dig a line in the soil between some trees, and she filled that hole up with the herbs. And then we waited.
“The maniac showed up again, and when he saw me, he made this sound like a roar and ran in my direction. I tried to run away, but she caught me and made me stay. I about crapped myself. But when he tried to cross the line she made in the dirt, he bounced back like he hit a brick wall. He tried it again, and the same thing happened.
“And then, as he was standing there, telling us how he was going to torture us to death, she walks right up to him and squirts him in the face with the spray bottle. He acts like it's acid. And while he's on his knees, howling in pain, she walks right up to him, spreads her arms does something weird with her fingers, and starts talking in a foreign language. After a while, the maniac falls all the way down, and I can't see him through all the plants on the ground.
“She calls me over, but I'm too scared to come, so she grabs my arm, and drags me over, and the maniac is gone. Like he never existed. He couldn't have gotten away-I would have seen him. He just disappeared.
“It's not bullshit, Mark! This happened to me exactly like I'm telling you here. I'm not making up a damn thing!
“Oh my God, no, I'm not! Have you seen my car? I have to get a new driver's side window, and my roof is all scratched up. You tell me how that happened. Or better yet, ask Eric. He saw the maniac too.
“Yeah, he saw her too. Because when she walked me back to my car, I told her that Eric was missing, and she ran back into the woods to find him. And she found him! He told her that he was trying to lure the maniac away from me, and she believed him. One look at Eric and you can tell he's not a coward.
“So anyway, without a psycho killer around, we were able to start my car, and I came home.
“It's not bullshit, Mark! God! All I wanted to do was tell you about something really creepy that happened to me, and you have to jump all over me and call me a liar.
“Oh, yeah, I'd love for you to tell a scary story.
“Really? Let's hear it. And it has to be absolutely, 100 percent true.”