HAHAHAHAHAHA!!! This is exceptionally funny and well-written. As per your usual gift, you've got some wonderful asides. but there was such a thing as too much curry. for example!
What was particularly nice about this piece is how stand-alone it is and how very much it kept me moving forward as a curious reader. I really had to rely on you 100% to unfold the story and sell it. And you did!
Do you ever return to your work for sentence level editing?
Oy. Is it that bad? This professional editor is kind of embarrassed.
Here's my method for writing stories. Because I can't type as fast as I think (and because the backspace button is too tempting), I scrawl out my first drafts longhand. My second draft is me typing it up. My third draft is the edit, which is usually fairly thorough; however, when I find myself applying the ax to so much of the body like I did this week, I tend to miss a lot of smaller things. I am willing go back when something is pointed out--especially if it's really egregious.
It's not bad at all!!! (I didn't know you are a professional editor! Is that what you're doing off in the wild and wonders of wherever it is you post your IG from???) I'm speaking of word choices that might need more clarification or consideration, or slightly awkward bits that could do with smoothing. Two quick examples - Lifting her eyes and sabotage. I'm just throwing this small concrit out there because your work always reads at an accomplished level. I, myself, am terrible about similar small things which I edit much much later.
And I'm awed that you write your first draft longhand. I no longer can "think" with a pen.
Oh, that's different. I try so hard not to be so cliche that I often wind up with something that doesn't work out. Considering how often it does work, the ones that don't are no trouble.
In short, I will reconsider those, and thank you.
Also, I have this small collection of fountain pens that I can't bear to stop using...
Between you and me, I got the idea for that day because, when asked when asked when our anniversary was, my spouse has been known to say April 31. She's not kidding either.
You had me at this line. What an interesting way to start a piece! Also, what a change of pace from the last few weeks. I want to know more about "the corporation" and the shadowy forces that insure order in the magic world. Also, is this the last we've heard of Lucy Kim? As usual, your dialog and characters carry your story so well that the scene becomes addictive.
I felt a change of pace was needed. I enjoy writing about Gina et al, but there is so much more to this world that I want to show off.
Lucy, I think, is a one-off. She was fortunate that the current head of the business prefers to keep things clean. The last guy, Mr. Tsukanov loved a good mess.
Mr. Sager was such an interesting creation. He sounds so reasonable, and yet... mummified corpse! Skeletal aspecits! And also, invisible to everyone but Lucy Kim.
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What was particularly nice about this piece is how stand-alone it is and how very much it kept me moving forward as a curious reader. I really had to rely on you 100% to unfold the story and sell it. And you did!
Do you ever return to your work for sentence level editing?
Reply
Here's my method for writing stories. Because I can't type as fast as I think (and because the backspace button is too tempting), I scrawl out my first drafts longhand. My second draft is me typing it up. My third draft is the edit, which is usually fairly thorough; however, when I find myself applying the ax to so much of the body like I did this week, I tend to miss a lot of smaller things. I am willing go back when something is pointed out--especially if it's really egregious.
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And I'm awed that you write your first draft longhand. I no longer can "think" with a pen.
Reply
In short, I will reconsider those, and thank you.
Also, I have this small collection of fountain pens that I can't bear to stop using...
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You had me at this line. What an interesting way to start a piece! Also, what a change of pace from the last few weeks. I want to know more about "the corporation" and the shadowy forces that insure order in the magic world. Also, is this the last we've heard of Lucy Kim? As usual, your dialog and characters carry your story so well that the scene becomes addictive.
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Lucy, I think, is a one-off. She was fortunate that the current head of the business prefers to keep things clean. The last guy, Mr. Tsukanov loved a good mess.
I'm hoping to get back to Mr. Sager sometime.
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Mr. Sager was such an interesting creation. He sounds so reasonable, and yet... mummified corpse! Skeletal aspecits! And also, invisible to everyone but Lucy Kim.
I think she got lucky there, in the end.
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