i love the dialogue in this, especially rafaela's. she's really cute. also, the fact that they summoned an ancient greek spirit because they just didn't do their research made me giggle. two thumbs up!
I don't know exactly how they could have screwed the pooch so badly, but wow. It's a good thing they're just foolish, and not evil, or there could be real problems.
It's nice to see so many of your characters in action simultaneously. In terms of dialogue, it's pretty tough to make it seem natural, but I don't yet get the sense that any of these people are papery in dimensions. As always, an interesting spook has appeared.
Edit: And the title posted to the topic page won me over immediately.
And the title posted to the topic page won me over immediately.
It's embarrassing how much thought I put into those. It's really nice to get a pat on the back for one.
On one hand, I kind of want to bring in Jason the World's Worst Skeptic, but on the other hand, there does come a point where it's just too many characters for a short story.
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Edit: And the title posted to the topic page won me over immediately.
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It's embarrassing how much thought I put into those. It's really nice to get a pat on the back for one.
On one hand, I kind of want to bring in Jason the World's Worst Skeptic, but on the other hand, there does come a point where it's just too many characters for a short story.
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