An open letter to Clancy Brown
I cannot possibly imagine what it was like to grow up with the name Clancy, but it must have been tough. That's probably why you grew up to be so enormous and menacing. As such, you've been an inspiration me. No matter how many times folks assign me nicknames that I don't ask for or sing Three Dog Night songs to me (more specifically, opening line of a Three Dog Night song, because that's all they know), I've learned to embrace my name; because, if a guy whose parents called him Clancy can grow up to throw a knife through Jake Busey's hand, I have to believe that anyone can.
You've been many things to me over the years. You've been Buckaroo Banzai's best friend and a cruel and unusual prison guard in The Shawshank Redemption. In Starship Troopers, you're the kind of drill sergeant who could make R. Lee Ermey squirm. In The Spectacular Spider-man, you got to be both the big-and-dumb Rhino and the tough-but-caring NYPD Captain George Stacy. You were a (Good? Evil?) priest in Carnivàle, a show I may never fully understand. You're Eugene. H. Krabs, aka Armor Abs Krabs, owner and chief executive officer of the successful fast-food chain, Krabby Patties in Spongebob Squarepants, and, in the currently running G.I. Joe cartoon, you're motherfucking Destro.
Most importantly, until you came along and made the role your own, I was not particularly impressed by the John-Byrne-era characterization of Lex Luthor. But now, I can't see that evil, bald head without thinking of you informing a vigilante you've just beaten the hell out of, "Do you have any idea how much power I'd have to give up to be president?"
Because that's what this is really about: your voice. Your voice is so gravelly and menacing and just flat-out awe-inspiring that Queen wrote a whole song around it (" Gimme the Prize" off of It's a Kind of Magic for those not in the know)--and this is a band whose lead singer is Freddie Mercury, so they know a thing or two about powerful vocals. You're the man who can create pants-shitting gravitas and terror with four words: "I know his name."
I guess I just need to tell you how important you've been in my life since I was a teenager. I want you to know that, to me, you'll always be the Kurgan. Christopher Lambert may have won The Prize©, but you won my heart.
Thank you,
Jeremiah Murphy