The taste of raw metal. I've always had weird cravings.
It's 1:44 AM. I guess I can't go to sleep again... Well that's not true. I just don't want to right now... I've been sitting at my piano sometime after I had a mentally degrating conversation with my Father. He didn't say anything cruel, but the thing was he kept talking. I was trying to say something and everytime I would start having listened for spots to pop in, he'd continue. And the monotony of it with my tired mind and my stuffy nose couldn't take it. Maybe I'm irritable because I'm tired. I hope I am. Because if I get angry of something like that even if I'm not tired then that makes me a Real Asshole.
I haven't talked in years really. I suppose I'm just trying to make up for lost times.
Something I will admit. Something completely random:
This livejournal has been my friend over the past (almost) three years... It's helped me to clear things out of my head at a grand pace. On Livejournal, however fast I could type was however fast I could speak. I didn't need to write everything out on paper like they do in diarys. But I must admit, those are much more private. I could write about what it was like to 'loose' my virginity so to speak without having people read it... I'm not really embarassed. It's just a private thing. But having it on Livejournal lets my document it.
And no, I DON'T consider that scene with my ex-boyfriend the time I lost it. To be quite blatant, I didn't cum. But... the fucker did. A lot of references to my ex. lately, huh? (Well not really)
Come to think of it, I don't have the first time Joe and I... did it. Wow, I'm so high school. I guess that will be my own buisness then... It'll be for my heart to ponder over... And to fawn over.
*sigh*
I miss him so much. I haven't seen him since the day before break started... too long for me to handle, especially since my feelings for him have been growing stronger lately.... I've been getting to know him, his perfection, and his faults. And all of it makes me love him more. It's the kind of feeling that you get for a dog who has three legs. You love the dog more because you gain sympathy for him. But in the case of Joe and I, I don't have sympathy for him. I just see him as more... human now, I guess. And I love human's. Hahaha. I love him.
I really hope I see him soon...
*sigh*
But enough mourning for now! The morning will be coming soon with the sun upon her back so I must sleep before she can dump him on me.
Crap. I better run.
I haven't talked in years really. I suppose I'm just trying to make up for lost times.
Something I will admit. Something completely random:
This livejournal has been my friend over the past (almost) three years... It's helped me to clear things out of my head at a grand pace. On Livejournal, however fast I could type was however fast I could speak. I didn't need to write everything out on paper like they do in diarys. But I must admit, those are much more private. I could write about what it was like to 'loose' my virginity so to speak without having people read it... I'm not really embarassed. It's just a private thing. But having it on Livejournal lets my document it.
And no, I DON'T consider that scene with my ex-boyfriend the time I lost it. To be quite blatant, I didn't cum. But... the fucker did. A lot of references to my ex. lately, huh? (Well not really)
Come to think of it, I don't have the first time Joe and I... did it. Wow, I'm so high school. I guess that will be my own buisness then... It'll be for my heart to ponder over... And to fawn over.
*sigh*
I miss him so much. I haven't seen him since the day before break started... too long for me to handle, especially since my feelings for him have been growing stronger lately.... I've been getting to know him, his perfection, and his faults. And all of it makes me love him more. It's the kind of feeling that you get for a dog who has three legs. You love the dog more because you gain sympathy for him. But in the case of Joe and I, I don't have sympathy for him. I just see him as more... human now, I guess. And I love human's. Hahaha. I love him.
I really hope I see him soon...
*sigh*
But enough mourning for now! The morning will be coming soon with the sun upon her back so I must sleep before she can dump him on me.
Crap. I better run.