well hmmm...
well i try to keep faith in shit working out, and i will keep doing that, but i wont deny a lot of time i wonder how i make it, or how i will continue to do so... i gotta start paying car insurance soon... i dunno where that money is gonna come from...i just wished i was confident in my car and had a few hundred saved in the bank... but i dont... its not like im piddling money away... ive spent $20 in 3 weeks on weed, thats it, i am gonna try to stop smoking or just really really slow the fuck down to save... hell Erin has more weed then me a lot lately and she hasnt even gotten her 1st paycheck yet... im like damn... i wished my parents would at least pay my car insurance
or let me keep it in their name so it can be way cheaper for me and id pay it... i give Erin as much money as i can, i buy minimal food.. and drink...
its like a lot of people i know have it better in some ways...
their parents pay for car insurance and/or other monthly type bills
Rory for example has a girlfriend who always has money
Brent works for his dads company so hes got it going...
i just need a lil help like that or something
i really need to start working more...
or get a 2nd job
but then i couldnt watch Matty for Erin to be working now...
and i want to her keep this job
and for some reason since my acid trip ive thought a lot about girls, wanting one in my life
but its weird
its like i want to be in a relationship
but i dont at all the next minute
its like i want sex, of course lol, but with out worries, and fighting and other stupid shit, sex just keeps me mentally at bay
but also, i want a girl to talk to, tell secrets, a real good friend, i dont care at all about sex in this matter, and its more about relationship, but just friend relationship...
its like if i could have one friend for sex..
and one just to talk to and open up to...
they could be completely different people even
kinda seems to me when you combine those 2 from one friendship...
something always goes wrong
but i guess if i had to choose which is honestly more important down deep
i want a friend. a good one...
someone important...
to think i am at least somewhat important.
masturbation is a substitute for sex
there is no substitute for a great friend
i guess thats just a fantasy of mine...
or im being impatient with this new town here
or let me keep it in their name so it can be way cheaper for me and id pay it... i give Erin as much money as i can, i buy minimal food.. and drink...
its like a lot of people i know have it better in some ways...
their parents pay for car insurance and/or other monthly type bills
Rory for example has a girlfriend who always has money
Brent works for his dads company so hes got it going...
i just need a lil help like that or something
i really need to start working more...
or get a 2nd job
but then i couldnt watch Matty for Erin to be working now...
and i want to her keep this job
and for some reason since my acid trip ive thought a lot about girls, wanting one in my life
but its weird
its like i want to be in a relationship
but i dont at all the next minute
its like i want sex, of course lol, but with out worries, and fighting and other stupid shit, sex just keeps me mentally at bay
but also, i want a girl to talk to, tell secrets, a real good friend, i dont care at all about sex in this matter, and its more about relationship, but just friend relationship...
its like if i could have one friend for sex..
and one just to talk to and open up to...
they could be completely different people even
kinda seems to me when you combine those 2 from one friendship...
something always goes wrong
but i guess if i had to choose which is honestly more important down deep
i want a friend. a good one...
someone important...
to think i am at least somewhat important.
masturbation is a substitute for sex
there is no substitute for a great friend
i guess thats just a fantasy of mine...
or im being impatient with this new town here