(no subject)

[i3eautiiful]

lately i have questioned everything i have ever stood for
and now i have come to the conclusion that everything i have ever stood for is completely wrong.
i have learned endless bits of knowledge over the past month and a half.

i feel sick,
im so worried at this moment i dont even know what to do with myself.
fuck beleif.
nothings happens for a reason.
no one deserves to go through so much shit.
i envy steve for everything hes been through
and still he has turned out to be the most amazing human being i have ever met in my entire life.
he deserves the whole world that boy of mine.
i wish i could go into detail and explain his greatness,
but i could go on for hours.
i could work hard and try to be as wonderful and selfless as he is,
but somehow i know i would never match up.

i wish i had been there tonight
just to hold him and take him anywhere under the sun.
i really just want to take care of him,
i think someone needs to.
i want to be that person.
i wanna be everything that he deserves. everything.
cause he deserves the best of everything.
i want to give him the best.
i guess the best i can do right now is just make sure he knows im there.
i wish there was more i could do.
i wish i could keep him safe from all the problems in the world so he would never feel an ounce of pain.
i wish i could protect him so that his smile never leaves his face.
cause his smile is something i surley adore.

RIP papa.

so heres to steve's smile;