The Tears Fall Like The Blood From My Arm
So last night I couldn't sleep.. I couldn't stop crying... I don't know why I couldn't stop crying, or why I was crying in the first place, but I know that I couldn't stop crying.. I wrote 5 pages on shit that was bothering me, but that didn't help, or cover everything that was bothering me.. I don't know why I was hurting so badly last night... I couldn't make myself feel better, no matter what I tried.. I tried to write, but that didn't help... I tried smoking, but that didn't help.. I even laid in bed, next to my sister (cuz she was sleeping in my bed), and cut, but that didn't help.. I wanted to call someone, and talk to someone, but I didn't know what to tell them as to why I felt so bad, and I felt like I would only interrupt whatever they were doing, so I didn't call anyone.. I don't know what to do anymore.. Nothing makes sense, and nothing means anything to me anymore.. I don't know why, but everything hurts.. Every person I see smiling, every person I see crying, everything makes me hurt.. I can't stand this feeling, this feeling of impending dread.. The feeling of hurt that won't go away, no matter what I do.. But, as usual, I just pretend that everything is ok, and don't let anyone know that I am upset... I can't explain why I am, so people just tell me that I am being dramatic.. I'm not.. Can't anyone understand what I am going through.. Probably not, since I don't even understand it myself..