dont do anything i wouldnt do, but if you do....... do it twice!!!
OMG! The dust bunnies from my living room are planning an attack on the dust bunnies from my bedroom...
Dance like no one is watching!
only in america do banks leave the doors open and chain the pens to the counters
Yesterday is history......Tomorrow is a mystery.. but Today is a gift, thats why its called the PRESENt
Stop worrying about the world ending today- it's already tommorow in Australia.
* ScReW tHe MiLk Ill Do YoUr BoDy GoOd *
Enemies stab you in the back, friends stab you in the front, but best friends poke you with straws!
If Tylenol, Duct Tape, & a Band Aid can't fix it, you have a serious problem
im not crazy just ask my camel steven
Tell me there are 5 billion stars in the sky and i'll believe you. Tell me a bench has wet paint on it and i just HAVE to touch it.
If your awesome and you know it clap your hands!!
Hey I Wanna Know If A Cow Laughs Will Milk Come Out His Nose?????
Old Macdonald had a farm e i e i o. and on that farm he had a cow, e ie i o. with a moooo mooo here and a mooo mo there here a moo there a moo everywhere a moo moo! RAHHHHH!
When in doubt... BUY GLOWSTICKS!
Don't knock on death's door, ring the doorbell and run....he hates that.
some girls are pretty in pink but im gorgeous in green!
No Sprinkles!..for every sprinkle I find....I shall kill you!!
They say every 1 in 5 people in the word are Chinese. There are 5 people in my family Donna(mom), Frank(dad), Tom, me (ashley), and Kong Shen Heng. I think its Tom.
U squirrel, u cant hide!! I know where u live!!
Have you ever noticed how a ketchup bottle just sits there!!!!!!!!!!??????
Last night I was laying in bed, looking at the stars...then i wondered...where the hell is my ceiling???
I am NOT full of bologna...I am full of pancakes:)
5 quarters of people have trouble with fractions.
Aerodynamically speaking, the bumblebee shouldn't be able to fly. But the bumblebee doesn't know, so he goes on flying anyway.
I dream of a better tomorrow, where chickens can cross roads and not have their motives questioned.
Duct Tape is like the force. It has a light side. It has a dark side. And it holds the world together...
I think the person who wrote Alice In Wonderland was high when they wrote it.
"Congratulations, would u like a small parade or a cookie?"\
Anatidaephobia- the fear that some where, some how, a duck is watching you...
Halloween: The day your parents tell you to take candy from strangers.......... INTERESTING!!!
I love pot..........pie
i was wondering y frisbees got bigger as they got closer then it hit me
I want a frickin' penguin!
How do you drown a fish????
I have not failed! I have just found 10,000 ways that don't work.
HOLD UP, WAIT A MINUTE, LET ME PUT SOME BOOTY IN IT!!!
?Who died and made you darth vader?
~*You Rocca My Maracas*~
You're as slow as a herd of turtles running through peanut butter!!
Isolde-"How many have you loved before me?" Tristan-"None" Isolde-"And after me?" Tristan-"None"
Whos cruel idea was it to make an S in the word lisp?