Thirty-Eighth Theory [Action]

[i_speak_softly]

[Before Don goes out this morning, he leaves a note on the kitchen table.]

GONE TO THE SMITHY.
BACK TONIGHT.[Two days ago he was angry with his brothers for being overprotective, but today everything is different. He genuinely wants them to know where he is, because they've all just been reminded how suddenly a person can vanish

Comments

[Action]

[meanandgreen]

[Yeah, he's been there all day, and all yesterday, wallowing in some dark hole inside his mind. Sleeping, barely eating, just doing nothing until he realized how fucking stupid that was. Fuck that emo bullshit. He wanted to get angry. Anger is better. Anger feels good.

Throwing the nightstand against the wall is like a killing blow in a fight. The wood smashes to splinters in his hand. The impact vibrates through his bones. And for a split second, he feels fucking wonderful.

But then it's gone and the spark of madness is sucked away from him in a vacuum until he finds his next target of destruction, his next momentary high.

The anger fogs his brain. Tunnel vision. The booze only enhances it, makes the vibrations send a shockwave explosive enough to jar his nerves. He stumbles as he grabs the half-empty bottle of whiskey again and tries to down as much as he can in one swallow, relishing the way it burns in his chest.

That hurt. That's what he wants. He wants to feel, chase away that hollow feeling, fill himself with pain if he has to. Pain is better than emptiness, and he forgot how good it feels.

He knows his brothers are outside. He can hear Leo banging on the door, but he blocks it out. Only roars a battle cry as he flips his entire bed on its side.]

[Action]

[honorthecode]

With the music blasting. The banging and all is more recent.

[He'll bang on the door again, specially after that battle cry] Raph!

[Action]

[i_speak_softly]

I'm going in. [He puts his hand on the doorknob, but it won't turn.] It's locked. [His other hand goes to his belt, and his eyes go to Leo.] Should I pick it?

[Action]

[meanandgreen]

[A bolt of panic races through him as he surveys the destruction, panting like a mad bull in a battlefield; heaving shoulders, unfocused eyes. There's nothing left to destroy. His whole room is diminished to rubble. But the hollowness is creeping in, crying for more, feed it. He can hear it screaming with every pound of his racing heart throbbing over the pulse of the music, thundering in his ears.

He can't stop here. It doesn't end here. He's not done yet.

If this was home, he would have gotten his fill out on the streets, shown up a shadow in Casey's window thirsting for blood. Find the best punks - the gangsters and druggies with that desperate look in their eyes. Feral. The kind with knives and blades and aren't afraid to use them. Those are his favorite kind, the desperate ones. He can smell it on a man from blocks away, the kind of guy who isn't afraid to cut a limb that's offered to him. The kind of scum that will give you the hits you need.

Then he'd stumble back home, high on his own endorphins, bleeding and satisfied.

He can't find that here. Not in this land full of heroes. No. He had other ways of quenching that thirst.

He downs the rest of the whiskey in three swallows.

On the other side of the door, it all goes strangely quiet save for the steady throb of music and the sound of breaking glass.]

[Action]

[honorthecode]

[Yeah that sudden silence isn't helping]

Pick it, he could be hurt. [Or just passed out, who knows. Only one way to find out] I'm going in with you. [As back up, just in case.]

[Action]

[i_speak_softly]

[The silence is scarier than the screaming. Never mind the lockpicks; Don is kicking the door down.]

Raph?! Oh, damn...

[Action]

[meanandgreen]

[There's pieces of glass and broken furniture everywhere. His shelf of weapons is toppled over, scattering weapons, and the walls are full of dents and holes. The stereo still blasts it's demonic ballad.

Raph stands in the middle of the wreckage, a chunk of glass in one hand, and several bloody gashes across his bicep.

He looks up at Don with a glazed expression. Stunned.

Then, he explodes.]

GET OUT!

[He rushes toward his brothers with a crazed look in his eyes, still holding the piece of glass.]

GET OUT!

[He has to say it again. Again and again until they get it through their puny little heads. This is his room! His space! Get the fuck out!

The way he moves, he's obviously drunk. Dangerously drunk. It's completely erased his inhibitions, leaving him with nothing pure, raw, overwhelming rage.

The back of his mind whispers You're not empty anymore. The way he bares his teeth almost looks like a grin.]

[Action]

[honorthecode]

[Leo's not even looking at the room. He's focused on their brother. It's a good thing too as Raph came at Don.

Don! Watch out! [He'll push the other out of the way, and make to grab for that wrist before Raph hurts one of them.]

[Action]

[i_speak_softly]

[Don leaps aside as Leo pushes him, but immediately turns back to launch a palm strike across Leo's grab, aiming to knock the shard of glass from Raph's grasp.]

[Disarm and disable. Don't hurt him.]

[At least, not any more than he needs to be hurt. They've gone through this often enough to know how to bring him back.]

[Action]

[meanandgreen]

[Raph stumbles to a dead halt at his brother's advances, still panting open-mouthed, that glazed and wild look still burning in his eyes. The shard gets knocked out of his hand, slicing into his palm as it's wrenched from his grasp. He wouldn't hurt his brothers. Or would he? Maybe he would, in this state. But mostly, he just wants them away. Push everyone away. He doesn't need them. He doesn't need anyone. He just wants to hurt in peace.

Is that too much to ask for?]

Can't you read!?

[He struggles in Leo's grip and pitches forward, trying to body-slam him. It's probably the worst idea he could make right now, and it would do nothing to get him out of the hold. Even worse, the booze is starting to hit him. Hard. The whole world tilts sideways with the movement, and he winds up half-collapsing onto Leo's plastron instead, still trying to pull his way out of the hold.]

Let go 'a me!

Re: [Action]

[honorthecode]

[Leo doesn't want to hurt Raph either. A part of him is hoping Raph doesn't want to hurt them. He'll use his other hand to help steady Raph and to hold him back.]

Raphael calm down, we're trying to help you. [He's stern, but there's worry in his voice as well. He's not seen Raph like this in some time.]

[Action]

[i_speak_softly]

[Don picks up an empty bottle, thoughtfully.] Leo... let him go.

[Action]

[honorthecode]

[Leo looks to Don for a moment. There's some hesitation before he lets go, backing off a bit. He looks back to Raph, watching him. Worried about what he might do now that he's loose. But if that last stumble was anything to go by..]

[Action]

[meanandgreen]

[Raph wrenches away from Leo's grasp the moment it loosens, and the momentum makes him scramble sideways a half a step until he gets his feet under him.

Once he's steady, he thrusts a finger at Leo's plastron.]

Don' touch me. Don' touch me ever again, y-you fuckin' poser.

[Action]

[honorthecode]

[Leo reminds himself that Raph's drunk, evidenced by the empty bottles. Raph didn't mean what he said.]

I wasn't going to let you do something you'd regret, Raph. [Like attacking his brothers with that glass shard. His voice is calm and firm, since getting angry at an angry drunk was liable to make them angrier.]

[Action]

[meanandgreen]

Yeah? An' who gives you the right ta jus' parade around in here and start givin' orders? I don' gotta listen to you! We were doin' jus' fine without you!