(no subject)
Hmm, i like it here. a lot. in kansas. theres completely a large amount of hot boys, and i dont think theres a damn thing wrong with me getting to look at them every day. I cant say i cant wait for college, because i can. I really can. NO way im prepared. I have no way of telling myself what i wanna do with my life besides whats going on right now today. I suck at keeping plans of what to do, unless its short term. Im not gonna analyse myself cuz heck, last night i tried to analyze this boy and it only made me not like him that much. And i like myself, so oh well. The only thing i cant wait for which really i can, but itd be nice to have is all the college boys i get to watch. I realized that, i get really annoyed by those weird girls who just look at you and watch, but i do it way more. and better. people watchers are hot. But like back to what im gonna do, i wanna stay in high school longer. Its confusing cuz i wanna get out already and done with, but i dont think i got all out of high school and schooling not that i was suppose to but needed to. I mean, im not an idiot. I know my stuff, but when i realize how much time i wasted skipping and sleeping and doing stupid stuff which i know was kind of lame, i get pissed off. I realize i can start now, but i am gonna graduate in less than 3 monthes and it aint that much time. I even gave myself extra time to start school in the spring. But then i realize, when spring comes will i know what i wanna do. The only thing that i actually wanted to do that wont be like certain which i kind of like, is music stuff. But it sucks when i also wanna do other stuff. Ok screw the whole like what im gonna do. Its just what i wanna know in life. Not what i wanna do with the rest of my life. I just want to experience stuff, but that dont necessarily mean just cuz i learn it, i dont wanna waste my life doing it. Heck, i wish i had money now that I could actually waste lots of money learning different things. Im about to confuse a lot of people with all this though. Im realizing like how i act even though i say i dont realize it...hurts other people. And i actually learned that i can control it, if i think of something that would piss me off if someone else did it, that i would want them not to do.
Like me saying fag...ok thats not that bad, even though i think gay relations are ew,, theres this boy. Hes a very nice metrosexual boy, NOT GAY at all. but he dont like the word gay or fag or anything. Cuz he just thinks its stupid to talk about. And i learned to stop saying gay around him, and a lot of other people just for the fact that i like his company, and i dont want him to think bad about me and not wanna hang out with me anymore. And then i also realized, even though me and another person both share a friend, dont mean that we need to talk about taht friend every time we're together. That cant be the reason why us two are friends. And then the girl ends up bringing up something about the other person that i know deserves to be told to lots of people then everyone gets mad. So i need to get something new to talk to that person about, like the weather((thats a good one in places like nebraska and stuff) or tell her to get the hell away from me and get new friends. I always did know like the stuff i get pissed about that others do, i do myself. But i never was able to give specific things. And i never actually knew i cared if others got mad about it.
Im done for now, cuz im gonna go let my granny tell me about life. Its nice to listen.
Like me saying fag...ok thats not that bad, even though i think gay relations are ew,, theres this boy. Hes a very nice metrosexual boy, NOT GAY at all. but he dont like the word gay or fag or anything. Cuz he just thinks its stupid to talk about. And i learned to stop saying gay around him, and a lot of other people just for the fact that i like his company, and i dont want him to think bad about me and not wanna hang out with me anymore. And then i also realized, even though me and another person both share a friend, dont mean that we need to talk about taht friend every time we're together. That cant be the reason why us two are friends. And then the girl ends up bringing up something about the other person that i know deserves to be told to lots of people then everyone gets mad. So i need to get something new to talk to that person about, like the weather((thats a good one in places like nebraska and stuff) or tell her to get the hell away from me and get new friends. I always did know like the stuff i get pissed about that others do, i do myself. But i never was able to give specific things. And i never actually knew i cared if others got mad about it.
Im done for now, cuz im gonna go let my granny tell me about life. Its nice to listen.