to my sweetheart (4)
to my sweetheart:
last night i cried over you. i hate how the little things can set me off. i hate it.
i hate it.
i had to sit on the floor in my room, back against the door, headphones on, music blasting. i listened to sam smith's stay with me on repeat. the second verse really gets to me.
Why am I so emotional?
No it's not a good look, gain some self control
And deep down I know this never works
But you can lay with me so it doesn't hurt
the first line was what i was thinking as a sobbing mess in the dark of my room. i hate how the smallest of things can get me tearing up. the second line makes me hate myself. sometimes its not you that i hate:
its myself. i need to learn to gain some self control, i need to learn that not everything will go my way. i need to learn that i cant change you.
the last two lines is how ive been feeling towards our relationship. i kind of already knew from the beginning we wouldn't last. and as this progresses i feel as if we're less compatible.
i like the romantic things. i like the little gestures. one single rose for valentines day, eating lunch together even if break is only 45 minutes, sitting beside me even when the assembly is half an hour, texting me goodnight when i log off just a little to early, initiating the conversation even if you're doing work, just the smallest things would make me so happy.
how happy i would be.
how happy i would become.
and here i am on the verge of tears because of how unhappy i am. the bad moments are starting to pile up. they're starting to outweigh the good ones.
self control.
self control...
i am at my breaking point. i don't have time to cry over you. i don't have time to think about you. i don't have time for this relationship, there have been too many tears spent on it.
i have nothing else to give.
what do you want from me?
please.
love,
your dear
last night i cried over you. i hate how the little things can set me off. i hate it.
i hate it.
i had to sit on the floor in my room, back against the door, headphones on, music blasting. i listened to sam smith's stay with me on repeat. the second verse really gets to me.
Why am I so emotional?
No it's not a good look, gain some self control
And deep down I know this never works
But you can lay with me so it doesn't hurt
the first line was what i was thinking as a sobbing mess in the dark of my room. i hate how the smallest of things can get me tearing up. the second line makes me hate myself. sometimes its not you that i hate:
its myself. i need to learn to gain some self control, i need to learn that not everything will go my way. i need to learn that i cant change you.
the last two lines is how ive been feeling towards our relationship. i kind of already knew from the beginning we wouldn't last. and as this progresses i feel as if we're less compatible.
i like the romantic things. i like the little gestures. one single rose for valentines day, eating lunch together even if break is only 45 minutes, sitting beside me even when the assembly is half an hour, texting me goodnight when i log off just a little to early, initiating the conversation even if you're doing work, just the smallest things would make me so happy.
how happy i would be.
how happy i would become.
and here i am on the verge of tears because of how unhappy i am. the bad moments are starting to pile up. they're starting to outweigh the good ones.
self control.
self control...
i am at my breaking point. i don't have time to cry over you. i don't have time to think about you. i don't have time for this relationship, there have been too many tears spent on it.
i have nothing else to give.
what do you want from me?
please.
love,
your dear