I forgive you
I've been in a car accident on 8/4/22 and nearly lost my life. The doctors saved me and as of right now, I am connected to a tube and a little machine to keep my open wound clean as it heals itself.
Every morning I wake up feeling awful and weak. I don't understand why I am still here? No one died in the accident. It was an awful accident that would have, or at least should have killed anyone else. I don't think I'll ever understand because life just happens as it does. The best way for things to have happened are the way it happened. Is this what it takes to change life around? To stop living the way I've been living? To stop all my hatred I've had stored for the past years? To let go of everything I've been so accustomed to... A near death experience to change it all.
I'm upset, and sad, and somewhat angry at all of this. Couldn't there have been an easier way to change all this? I guess not because I never wanted to change what was so easy to do and continue to do. I guess it makes sense to ruin your life so bad, that the only way out of it is to essentially end it. Now I get to start over. Now I have no choice but to try things differently, but that doesn't mean that I will. I could easily pick right up where I left off. I didn't die. I don't get to have a new life. I still have my life, same as it always was, but now with new trials and tribulations. If there's anything to understand it's that I should have no choice but do things differently. Act differently. See things in another light. Maybe now I'll speak up and speak out and act right. Could it be that I was wrong all along? The whole time I was doing everything wrong. All those times that never made sense to me and wondered why my life was the way it was, was because it was wrong. I filled my life with alcohol and weed and loser people. I fell for loser girls and got hurt. All of that closed me up and maybe I never should have been there.
I realize if I am to move forward now with my life, if I am to change it all around, then I can no longer carry the hate I have for you. I must let it go and in order to do so, I have to forgive you.
Ally Pisa, you were the last girl I loved and you broke my heart. I think I can forgive you now and then move on with my life. What would be the point in carrying on with all the hate I want to let go of anyway? I'm not sure how to forgive, but if it starts with actually saying "I forgive you" then that's how I'll do it.
I forgive you Ally.
Maybe even go to say I forgive myself. I forgive myself.
Every morning I wake up feeling awful and weak. I don't understand why I am still here? No one died in the accident. It was an awful accident that would have, or at least should have killed anyone else. I don't think I'll ever understand because life just happens as it does. The best way for things to have happened are the way it happened. Is this what it takes to change life around? To stop living the way I've been living? To stop all my hatred I've had stored for the past years? To let go of everything I've been so accustomed to... A near death experience to change it all.
I'm upset, and sad, and somewhat angry at all of this. Couldn't there have been an easier way to change all this? I guess not because I never wanted to change what was so easy to do and continue to do. I guess it makes sense to ruin your life so bad, that the only way out of it is to essentially end it. Now I get to start over. Now I have no choice but to try things differently, but that doesn't mean that I will. I could easily pick right up where I left off. I didn't die. I don't get to have a new life. I still have my life, same as it always was, but now with new trials and tribulations. If there's anything to understand it's that I should have no choice but do things differently. Act differently. See things in another light. Maybe now I'll speak up and speak out and act right. Could it be that I was wrong all along? The whole time I was doing everything wrong. All those times that never made sense to me and wondered why my life was the way it was, was because it was wrong. I filled my life with alcohol and weed and loser people. I fell for loser girls and got hurt. All of that closed me up and maybe I never should have been there.
I realize if I am to move forward now with my life, if I am to change it all around, then I can no longer carry the hate I have for you. I must let it go and in order to do so, I have to forgive you.
Ally Pisa, you were the last girl I loved and you broke my heart. I think I can forgive you now and then move on with my life. What would be the point in carrying on with all the hate I want to let go of anyway? I'm not sure how to forgive, but if it starts with actually saying "I forgive you" then that's how I'll do it.
I forgive you Ally.
Maybe even go to say I forgive myself. I forgive myself.