red lines faded away.
HyukMin
R
UNbeat-ed
-
Things went messy and he didn't know what to do next when Sungmin moved to go away from him.
He just blocked Sungmin's way once again when he looked right in the eye."Don't go, yell at me.. Be mad ..s.scream at my face, just don't go please" he pleaded and prayed Sungmin would stay instead of leaving him for the billion time."you've been saying things aren't true and yet hurt me in a way you're the only one whom I told how much those things hurt?" Sungmin said sharply but his voice was calm, so calm that Hyukjae felt like his heart ached painfully. What was he thinking when he picked his closest person secret and used it to take advantage against him. Was he even allowed now to call himself a human! He was nearly dirtier than a dog, and he so hated himself that Sungmin's look about him will change and he will be thrown like anyone else to the side that Sungmin never visit or even bother to visit. He will be like the others, every one knows that he was the only person Sungmin could trust in, but he's sure now that he's even lower that anyone else, and he will never find a hole to take some of Sungmin trust through the cold and hard wall، that Sungmin built once he broke everything and snapped Sungmin precious secret under everybody's sight. He broke Sungmin in a way, nobody could dare to. And the fact that Sungmin's calling him by his stage name when they were alone, crushed his heart.
-
It's been 4 days since he done his dirty thing to his closest person for no good reason, and in front of all members. Since then Sungmin didn't say a word to him he just smiled tightly at him until he released what he had just done. Sungmin collected his things and left the party taking his pride with him.Since then noone dared to open what had happened back there and everyone acted like nothing happened at all when they knew it would annoyed Sungmin, but they had no other choice right?.
~
Sungmin moved and went to the door and got out, Hyukjae swore under his breathe as he sighed deeply and wanted nothing but to hit,yell and scream. He didn't know what else he could do, he's been trying to talk to the older but the latter didn't seem to let him not even a tiny chance, he tried to hold sungmin and force him to look at him, but he forgot that Sungmin can perfectly do martial arts and perfectly shoved his hands even before he could grab Sungmin, one thing Sungmin asked him back then,"don't touch me, Eunhyuk." And that all what he got. Ignorance, treated like nothing And looked like complete dumb. He entered his room and hit the door hardly like the door was mucking him or something, is Sungmin suffering! Because this is the way Sungmin would act if he's suffering. Perfect and he's the reason! Just good, tears gathered into his eyes and he bit his lip! He can't handle this, before when Sungmin suffers he'd become angry and want so bad to kill anyone who causes his bestfriend's pain, but now it looks like he might kill himself.Chest ached everytime he remembers the look that was in Sungmin eyes when he boldly,loudly and dumbly embarrassed his closest person by pouring his deepest secret. And since then Sungmin never talked to him not even bother to look at him, and for a pay! He took that out in the members's direction, especially Donghae because he was the only one who didn't give up and continued to stay beside him and tell him everything's going to be okay.
"Fuck you and fuck your 'okay' STAY AWAY" He screamed harder that night and slammed the door shut at Donghae's face, he lucked the door and grabbed his hair as he sat down, he yanked and cried so hard, he just want to apologize! He started to sobs and anger took him to the point where he can't kept things inside anymore, so he cried and didn't prevent himself from crying out loud, not caring if the members could hear him nor did he care if Sungmin could hear him too, he regretted what has he done, he felt so sorry for his bestfriend and the harsh way he hurt him. head started to ache and although he was in so much pain emotionally he honestly didn't want something other than being in Sungmin's arms and cry his soul out. He slept that night on the cold floor hoping it was a nightmare he soon will wake up from.
~
he shifted and tried to move his hand but he couldn't probably do that because it was under his stomach and when he tried, his whole body ached from the position he was on. he sighed and flipped ignoring his headache and his body, he tried to sit but was too lazy to do so, So he stayed like that for a moment before he sat again, he used his two hands to rely and looked at the floor, the floor was warm unlike yesterday he thought he shouldn't go to schedule today, and he doesn't care a bit, he sighed once again and looked to the left to see his bed clean and untouched, just like two weeks ago, two weeks ago before his whole world fell apart. he turned again and searched for his phone, he took it and turn it off not bothering to look into it.
he gathered himself and went to the bathroom, he felt lazy and lost his balance to fell on the floor, he stayed like this for a brief before standing once again and walked slowly to the bathroom. when was the last time he ate? yesterday's morning? was it! he didn't know, anyway he didn't feel like eating. he opened the water and looked at himself, that face in the mirror was ugly, Sungmin used to tell him how much beautiful he is, or was! he washed his face and looked again, still ugly, he washed his face again and again and looking at himself every time he finishes but still ugly, he before, when he look at his reflex, he sees himself the most beautiful person and he loved that, when his mom tells him that and talking about his beauty, he feels happy and proud, but there was once when Sungmin first told him he was beautiful, that was 3 weeks after they first met, the feeling was different than when he heard from his mom, his mom says that well, because she's his mother, but when Sungmin says it it felt different, because he says it randomly and spontaneous, and Hyukjae couldn't be happier. and there was that time when they debuted and Hyukjae started to lose his confidence because almost all members were way prettier than him, and although his mother still on telling him that there was no one as pretty as his, but to be honest he didn't felt like that at all, but there Sungmin came along and suddenly said that Hyukjae was very attractive in a way no member could has that. and Hyukjae got shocked because he entered the room at Sungmin's talk And Sungmin said that back to Heechul who was talking about beauty and comparing between members.
Sungmin's tone was serious and confident, he remembers when members were as shocked as his."beauty fell down when you don't have any attractive, believe me, but when you are so attractive, you don't have to be beautiful, because you're beautiful. honestly." Sungmin said smiling lightly approving his point and annoying some of the members at the same time."and I know, you know, and Hyukjae knows, between the 15 of us, he's the most attractive one, and you even dan't dare to say the otherwise" he laughed at the end because that was true.
But now he can't fine any sight of him being attractive or pretty, all he sees was an ugly reflex of him, he washed his face harshly that his face started to reddened. his tears started to fell and he cried. he felt exhausting and went to sit but changed his mind, the apartment was so clear and he realised nobody has came to wake him up for their schedule already, he thought he might goes out to eat something before members return, it's almost 10 am, he hesitate for a moment before unlocking his room and opnened the door, for some reason his heartbeat increased, by any chance, is Sungmin here? he wasn't sure if Sungmin went with them or not, and his stomach flipped, he froze for a moment before turned his head to Sungmin and Kyuhyun hared room, the door was closed, he walked slowly and carefully in Sungmin's room direction and tried to hear anything that approves Sungmin existence, but there was nothing, he thought to open the door, he didn't know why but he wanted so bad to open the door, what if Sungmin was there sleeping! but the idea flew away when he missed Sungmin's smell, So he just went with it and boldly grabbed the door nub and opened it, his breathe ached, what if Sungmin was really there, could he face him? but there was no chance to retreat, but for his luck the room was empty, he walked in, and breathed deeply, he missed that smell, Sungmin's scent where everywhere like he wasn't sharing a room with someone, and because Kyuhyun don't use any perfume and his cream collection were normal and non aromatic. he walked closer to Sungmin's bed and froze when he saw Sungmin's phone, keys, and wallet were all on the bed thrown messily. So Sungmin's actually here, he turned fast to walk out the room but when he almost reached the door he stopped suddenly because Sungmin was there eyeing him.
~
the world felt dizzy around him and before he fell, Sungmin ran in no time to catch him, he looked at him and saw that empty look into the older's eyes in a moment ago was replaced by worried."are you okay?" Sungmin asked and Hyukjae's breathe hitched and before thinking twice he circled Sungmin's nick and hugged him, it was like the power he lost, renewed.
"please please please, don't leave me, don't stop talking to me please" Hyukjae pleaded huskily and whispered once again begging the older not to leave him anymore."please Sungmin, I beg you." Hyukjae tightened his grab afraid that Sungmin might shoves him away, and he couldn't stand that anymore, warmness started to surrounded Hyukjae's waist as Sungmin had a firm hold around it, Sungmin hugged him back and almost as tight as Hyukjae's. Hyukjae was less to say shocked and he inhaled loudly when Sungmin kissed his shoulder, tears gathered in the corners of his eyes but they refused to fell, he was too shocked and his hands lassitude around Sungmin's nick but then Sungmin hugged him even tighter."I shouldn't hug you, neither talk to you, I should be gone by now, and I want to go, I just can't and even If i can, Don't let me go." Sungmin said as he walked Hyukjae back until Hyukjae's leg hit his bed."you can't let go of me" he forced Hyukjae a little so they fell on his bed, when they landed Hyukjae's hands fell down Sungmin's shoulders and back."don't stop hugging me" Sungmin asked and Hyukjae moved his hands left up Sungmin's head, he wanted to look to the face he missed so bad, he wanted to look into Sungmin's eyes, looking at his mouth, lightly hit his nose, and nicely touches his hair, when their eyes met for the first time in a long time, Hyukjae's world stopped and he drowned in those eyes, he missed those eyes, there was something in those eyes, something very sad, his heart broke, they were looking at each other's eyes for moments. Hyukjae spoke first shakily said." I miss you."
Sungmin didn't need any more time, he leaned in and kissed Hyukjae's lips passionately and Hyukjae kissed back almost immediately, Hyukjae's hands were moving from Sungmin's head to his hair, then his nick then his cheeks and once again to his hair, none of them were thinking to break the kiss, but Sungmin needed air to breathe so he moved away first, but their lips still touched."you can't do that again" Hyukjae whispered and kissed Sungmin lower lip, the corner of his lips, and then Sungmin's jaw."I just can't continue anymore" he hugged Sungmin and switched their position so he topped Sungmin, he interlocked their fingers together above Sungmin's head, looking Sungmin in the eye." I'm sorry" he whispered,"I'm sorry, real sorry, I can repeat that as many as you want, not to forgive me, I don't deserve forgiveness, not after what I did to you, I just don't know what else I can do, except saying sorry." Sungmin was looking at him mutely, they exchange looks and Hyukjae smiled at him, he leaned in not to kiss just to touch Sungmin's lips with his." I'm sorry, so sorry, I'm sorry Sungmin, sorry sorry" he kissed Sungmin open mouthed and picked at his lips then.
"you understand that you don't get the right to say what you've said." Sungmin said as he looked directly in the younger's eyes. Hyukjae nodded and whispered into Sungmin ear,"I so know that, and I'm truly sorry" he kissed Sungmin's ear after he finished and kissed along back to Sungmin's mouth Sungmin shivered under Hyukjae's touches and he breathed shakily, but remind silent."I.will.not.let.go.of.you.never" Hyukjae said between kisses and then hugged Sungmin so tight with one hand while the other still in Sungmin's hand they still like that for some time, with Sungmin playing with Hyukjae's hair and the latter holding Sungmin firmly yet gently, Hyukjae's head was dug into Sungmin's nick breathing him.
"Hyukjae" Sungmin said suddenly, and hearing his name like that made his heart skip it's beat, he tightened his hold as a back say to Sungmin to continue."I love you" Sungmin said lowly, as he yanked at Hyukjae's hair.
everything Hyukjae wanted to say was put in the kiss he kissed, the kiss wasn't long enough to last but neither wasn't short enough to feel, Sungmin smiled into it as Hyukjae hummed,"your lips so kissable, I can't stop" he complained and Sungmin patted his head smiling lightly.
"let's go out, I wanna get out of here, come on get off of me" Sungmin hit his back lightly as a sign for Hyukjae to move, But Hyukjae didn't.
"let us stay like this" he asked but Sungmin still hitting him lightly."move off of me" Sungmin repeated. and Hyukjae bit Sungmin's nick all of sudden.
"ouch" Sungmin yelled and laughed at the same time,"stop, that's hurt"
"I know you love it" he lift his head to look down at him."okay let's go" Hyukjae moved off of him, and moaned from his aching body, he though, reached his hand for Sungmin to help him, once Sungmin stood, Hyukjae pulled him to his arms again and hugged him."I'm sorry." he apologized, and released Sungmin hesitantly.
~
Sungmin really tried to forget the whole matter, but the most close person to his heart hurt him and hardly, however, when he was away from Hyukjae, it seemed like, being away from Hyukjae hurt more than the way Hyukjae hurt him, when he was down, he wants only Hyukjae to talk to, even if that's means being and talking about the person who hurt him to the same person he's talking to. he can't ignore Hyukjae again, and he planned that morning to go to Hyukjae even though it must Hyukjae be the one who comes to him, but he couldn't wait, and that was Hyukjae, Hyukjae and never anybody else, the red lines were nothing to him when it comes to Hyukjae. the red lines faded away when it shouldn't, but he decided to let go of his pain and bury this pain somewhere deep in his heart, for the sake of being again near his favorite person. Hyukjae was that much means to him, and he made it clear along the years, and he was ready to continue making it clear for the coming years too.
p.s/ I'm not sure of what I've wrote honestly. anyways, hope you like it, I wanted to post it as I promised, and I'm sorry that I'm late nearly three hours.
..I wrote the start only, and never thought of continuing it, because I wrote it from nothing really. it was the only way to erase the stress that I felt back in the class. anyways, Hatoon, whom the person I love and a close friend of mine, asked me to finish it, and so I did.
ly, <3