(no subject)
I want to go do things for myself but I am too worried about being able to do things for you.
She told me that I was going to miss out on a great opportunity. I wanted to tell her that a great opportunity would be holding a baby safe in its blanket while softly reading story, sitting in a little cafe with your friends in a place you'd never been before, buying a kayak and putting it on the top of your car and driving as far as you could, letting someone love you, telling all the people who mean well what they are really doing, walking away from a crappy job, falling in love... I wanted to tell her that I've missed great opportunities; I would know these things... instead I just walked back out on the floor, reassuring her in a quiet voice that I wouldn't let it pass me by. And I won't. Because that's how I am, but it isn't a great opportunity that I am taking.
I need a month to month lease, I need a never ending gas tank, I need dishes that clean themselves, I need less crap smothering me, I need more love and I need more of things that I don't have words for so I need people to stop asking what I need and just fucking give it to me. And I need things now because as the fucking queen of optimism who tells everyone that everything will work out in its own time, I deserve something to work out now.
And if you could stop sucking, that'd be great.
She told me that I was going to miss out on a great opportunity. I wanted to tell her that a great opportunity would be holding a baby safe in its blanket while softly reading story, sitting in a little cafe with your friends in a place you'd never been before, buying a kayak and putting it on the top of your car and driving as far as you could, letting someone love you, telling all the people who mean well what they are really doing, walking away from a crappy job, falling in love... I wanted to tell her that I've missed great opportunities; I would know these things... instead I just walked back out on the floor, reassuring her in a quiet voice that I wouldn't let it pass me by. And I won't. Because that's how I am, but it isn't a great opportunity that I am taking.
I need a month to month lease, I need a never ending gas tank, I need dishes that clean themselves, I need less crap smothering me, I need more love and I need more of things that I don't have words for so I need people to stop asking what I need and just fucking give it to me. And I need things now because as the fucking queen of optimism who tells everyone that everything will work out in its own time, I deserve something to work out now.
And if you could stop sucking, that'd be great.