(no subject)
The only reason I’m posting this on LJ is because I cannot sleep and I need to get my thoughts down. If you are going to leave a comment, please do not pass judgment on Laura or myself.
Tonight was going ok until I found out from Laura’s friend Chelsea that Laura has been seeing her friend Timmy on a couple occasions as more than friends. They’ve kissed twice supposedly and they’ve cuddled a couple times and yesterday Laura went to visit Timmy. Timmy lives out by Diana…
I called Laura and she confirmed everything.
I was in love with Laura up until everything came crashing down. I’ve literally experienced every emotion since then. Laura came over to “explain” stuff but that really didn’t help either of us feel better or anything.
I still love Laura because I love:
Her skin
Her smile
Her touch
Her knowledge about music and random things that I don’t always understand
Her ability to do well in school
Her ability to make me happy
Her ability to make me smile
Her everything
I don’t like Laura because she:
Cheated on me
Withheld the truth from me
Led me on
Hurt me
Made me cry
Made me sad
Took advantage of my trust
I read Timmy’s LJ stuff just to read about how he wants to hold her and how he loves her…
I can’t get my feelings straight right now…I’ve never loved anyone like her and now all I want to do is hate her. She took everything I had to give and then some. These past months have been great but now I almost with I hadn’t been so naïve. She cheated on me and all I want is my feelings back.
But at the same time I want to forgive her and continue a relationship and work through everything. She’s been amazing.
I know these feelings are conflicting but I don’t know what to feel.
Why did she do what she did? Why hurt me? Why mess up our relationship? She said she was happy with me and she said that I was the best boyfriend that she’s ever had but I can’t believe that….because at the same time she was questioning our future…
What the fuck am I supposed to feel? All I know is I can’t sleep and I can’t feel much of anything…..but at the same time I feel everything.
Tonight was going ok until I found out from Laura’s friend Chelsea that Laura has been seeing her friend Timmy on a couple occasions as more than friends. They’ve kissed twice supposedly and they’ve cuddled a couple times and yesterday Laura went to visit Timmy. Timmy lives out by Diana…
I called Laura and she confirmed everything.
I was in love with Laura up until everything came crashing down. I’ve literally experienced every emotion since then. Laura came over to “explain” stuff but that really didn’t help either of us feel better or anything.
I still love Laura because I love:
Her skin
Her smile
Her touch
Her knowledge about music and random things that I don’t always understand
Her ability to do well in school
Her ability to make me happy
Her ability to make me smile
Her everything
I don’t like Laura because she:
Cheated on me
Withheld the truth from me
Led me on
Hurt me
Made me cry
Made me sad
Took advantage of my trust
I read Timmy’s LJ stuff just to read about how he wants to hold her and how he loves her…
I can’t get my feelings straight right now…I’ve never loved anyone like her and now all I want to do is hate her. She took everything I had to give and then some. These past months have been great but now I almost with I hadn’t been so naïve. She cheated on me and all I want is my feelings back.
But at the same time I want to forgive her and continue a relationship and work through everything. She’s been amazing.
I know these feelings are conflicting but I don’t know what to feel.
Why did she do what she did? Why hurt me? Why mess up our relationship? She said she was happy with me and she said that I was the best boyfriend that she’s ever had but I can’t believe that….because at the same time she was questioning our future…
What the fuck am I supposed to feel? All I know is I can’t sleep and I can’t feel much of anything…..but at the same time I feel everything.