(no subject)
I am trying to bitorrent a copy of Handel's Rinaldo, but the torrents are ancient and have not been seeded for some time. I do not understand how torrenting works. I only know that it sometimes does work, and I like getting rare recordings and things that I cannot afford on amazon. I want Rinaldo because "Lascia Ch'io Pianga" is a song that makes me weep.
Maybe I should not write about opera, because I do not want to come off as one who is trying to sound cultured, or attempting to form a new identity through love of Baroque "opera seria." I simply feel lifted, something like being in love, when I hear certain arias. I am beginning to grow into an age, and maybe it is not my age... maybe it is one much older. I do not think there is anything wrong with this. Once, ten years ago, I had my astrological chart done by a friend's husband who also studied Qabala (a mutual interest at the time, so he did my chart for free) and he said I would not feel comfortable as a young person. I would feel more content and relaxed in my middle age. Last year I had it done again, by a friend, and she said nearly the same thing. She also said that I will get married or own property with a man, but later in life, because I have already had my true love, earlier than most. I do not know if I believe in horoscopes, but this sounds like me. My chart also says I will have trouble with my back and stomach, and this is definitely true.
My daughter sings songs in the shower. She wants to know if I have heard her shower songs, one about shampoo and conditioner, and another about soap. I have not heard the songs, because while she is in the shower, I listen to Porpora arias and dream of stage sets with peacocks painted on them, and fake birds in cages.
I want to talk about where I am going, but it's all in my head. It takes concentration and hours of thought to formulate a plan, to bring where I am going into the world. I need to see how it is possible, but I have not met many people who have done the things I want to do. The people I would mimic are dead, and their biographies are not yet written well, their movies not yet made. In the evening hours, after the dinner is made, the floor swept and the laundry put away, I am a sleuth in the kitchen, piecing together the lives of my dead mentors. Wondering at how to make sense of their progress and apply it to this world, which is different than it was when they were alive. What if your mentors have been dead for several centuries? People do not love the arts like they used to. They like intangible things, big ideas, and plastic objects, cars, synthetic fibers.
Maybe I should not write about opera, because I do not want to come off as one who is trying to sound cultured, or attempting to form a new identity through love of Baroque "opera seria." I simply feel lifted, something like being in love, when I hear certain arias. I am beginning to grow into an age, and maybe it is not my age... maybe it is one much older. I do not think there is anything wrong with this. Once, ten years ago, I had my astrological chart done by a friend's husband who also studied Qabala (a mutual interest at the time, so he did my chart for free) and he said I would not feel comfortable as a young person. I would feel more content and relaxed in my middle age. Last year I had it done again, by a friend, and she said nearly the same thing. She also said that I will get married or own property with a man, but later in life, because I have already had my true love, earlier than most. I do not know if I believe in horoscopes, but this sounds like me. My chart also says I will have trouble with my back and stomach, and this is definitely true.
My daughter sings songs in the shower. She wants to know if I have heard her shower songs, one about shampoo and conditioner, and another about soap. I have not heard the songs, because while she is in the shower, I listen to Porpora arias and dream of stage sets with peacocks painted on them, and fake birds in cages.
I want to talk about where I am going, but it's all in my head. It takes concentration and hours of thought to formulate a plan, to bring where I am going into the world. I need to see how it is possible, but I have not met many people who have done the things I want to do. The people I would mimic are dead, and their biographies are not yet written well, their movies not yet made. In the evening hours, after the dinner is made, the floor swept and the laundry put away, I am a sleuth in the kitchen, piecing together the lives of my dead mentors. Wondering at how to make sense of their progress and apply it to this world, which is different than it was when they were alive. What if your mentors have been dead for several centuries? People do not love the arts like they used to. They like intangible things, big ideas, and plastic objects, cars, synthetic fibers.