(no subject)
www.myspace.com/hypnox666 is what i use now more then livejournal.
so last night i was having a rather upbeat evening and about two and a half hours before wade got home i went outside to have a ciggie and despite the fact that it was 5 degrees and i needed a ciggie, i went out side like i always do cause mum doesnt allow the whole smoke inside thing and i saw two little 15yr olds pushing each other on the lawn. So to my own defence i went down their to tell them off cause it looked like one of them would've went through mums fence, and considering she is a pensioner and wouldnt be able to afford a new fence because some little shits who more then likely should've been at home doing homework or sleeping to goto school the next day, i went down there and told them to 'fuck off before i call authority'. One of them came up to me, i so thought he was going to apoligize but he smelt like beer so i knew something was gonna happen but it didnt register quick enough for me to put my defences up, he came up to me and bang, punch in the upper left rib, bang, punch the top right of my head and then a upper cut to my left jaw (which right now is a lump and everytime i go to touch it without touching it, just the heat off my finger make its sting). So i just went alright , walked inside and told them 'you better start running'. I didnt have calling the police in my head at all, it actually made me brainwashed in a way that i couldn't stop thinking about what my ex used to say to me everytime he beat me up, so devoid all that nonsense i just had so much anger in me i staunched up stairs and headed straight for my mums solid wooden baseball bat but i went to the dinning room window to see weither they are still hanging around or not, but they weren't. So they must've taken my word for it and ran. So i called wade at work told him and after fighting about what happened, he preferred to stay at work and work , we had a fight, so i called his temp team leader and cried to him about what happened and he sent wade home an hour early. It was reassuring when he came home. I felt safe.
All i know is their either A) really proud they had hit a chick B) are pussy for trying to pick a fight with a female , even though if they knew i could through a punch i'd probally get a decent couple of blood lips and noses if i knew it was comming. c) are at school right now laughing it up or d) i beleive in karma (which is more then likely the case)
so i had a great night.. so sick of being abused though. Its like im a fucking magnet for rat shits like that, including my ex's. Im just happy i found the guy i've been chasing for 6yrs and am now planning to live a long life with him, not to mention wade doesnt know how to handle wounds though. haha everytime i get hurt he pinches, pushes, squeezes, pokes my bruises. It's kinda annoying and sad at the same time but i still love him. Just wish he knew how to take care of the situations a little better without making me feel worse.
and another thing, the one that hit me was wearing a metallica shirt, so im gonna be staying away from listening to metallica for long time until this scar which opened a really bad wound , disappears.
I couldn't switch it off last night, that i just became deeply depressed like i always do everytime somethings reminds me of a deep wound. I just wanted to kill myself so much, even though it wouldnt resolve anything. If wade didnt ask me out when he did , i know i would've been long gone.
I wanna move...
so last night i was having a rather upbeat evening and about two and a half hours before wade got home i went outside to have a ciggie and despite the fact that it was 5 degrees and i needed a ciggie, i went out side like i always do cause mum doesnt allow the whole smoke inside thing and i saw two little 15yr olds pushing each other on the lawn. So to my own defence i went down their to tell them off cause it looked like one of them would've went through mums fence, and considering she is a pensioner and wouldnt be able to afford a new fence because some little shits who more then likely should've been at home doing homework or sleeping to goto school the next day, i went down there and told them to 'fuck off before i call authority'. One of them came up to me, i so thought he was going to apoligize but he smelt like beer so i knew something was gonna happen but it didnt register quick enough for me to put my defences up, he came up to me and bang, punch in the upper left rib, bang, punch the top right of my head and then a upper cut to my left jaw (which right now is a lump and everytime i go to touch it without touching it, just the heat off my finger make its sting). So i just went alright , walked inside and told them 'you better start running'. I didnt have calling the police in my head at all, it actually made me brainwashed in a way that i couldn't stop thinking about what my ex used to say to me everytime he beat me up, so devoid all that nonsense i just had so much anger in me i staunched up stairs and headed straight for my mums solid wooden baseball bat but i went to the dinning room window to see weither they are still hanging around or not, but they weren't. So they must've taken my word for it and ran. So i called wade at work told him and after fighting about what happened, he preferred to stay at work and work , we had a fight, so i called his temp team leader and cried to him about what happened and he sent wade home an hour early. It was reassuring when he came home. I felt safe.
All i know is their either A) really proud they had hit a chick B) are pussy for trying to pick a fight with a female , even though if they knew i could through a punch i'd probally get a decent couple of blood lips and noses if i knew it was comming. c) are at school right now laughing it up or d) i beleive in karma (which is more then likely the case)
so i had a great night.. so sick of being abused though. Its like im a fucking magnet for rat shits like that, including my ex's. Im just happy i found the guy i've been chasing for 6yrs and am now planning to live a long life with him, not to mention wade doesnt know how to handle wounds though. haha everytime i get hurt he pinches, pushes, squeezes, pokes my bruises. It's kinda annoying and sad at the same time but i still love him. Just wish he knew how to take care of the situations a little better without making me feel worse.
and another thing, the one that hit me was wearing a metallica shirt, so im gonna be staying away from listening to metallica for long time until this scar which opened a really bad wound , disappears.
I couldn't switch it off last night, that i just became deeply depressed like i always do everytime somethings reminds me of a deep wound. I just wanted to kill myself so much, even though it wouldnt resolve anything. If wade didnt ask me out when he did , i know i would've been long gone.
I wanna move...