Single me out....
So Im single again. Yeah Franca broke up with me. It was a nice ride but Franca wanted off. I dont really blame her, i presured her to much. I scared her away. Its really pretty rotten that i just cant learn to chill out. I was trying to give her what she said she wanted a serious relationship.
I ignored all the signs as always and wound up at the bottom of the cliff of emotional pain.
The ironic thing is that we both wanted the same thing. To take things slow and get some space. Just date and slowly grow into each other but instead i came off as mr.strick demanding more time and upping the presure.
Thats not me. Thats who i tought i should be.
Im not used to casual dating. In PR your either serious or your not. There is not middle ground. I learned the hard way that it is.
Im also kicking myself because for the past month and half ive been beating myself up because ive had strong desires to date other women. I thought i was a horrible boyfriend who was lusting after other women, when the case was i am just not ready for a serious relationship.
The Franca dumping hit me pretty hard on Friday. The way she did it was like a proffesional hit, leading me to a beautiful park holding my hand, kissing me and then sitting me down for the devasting blow of ending our relationship. The kicker was when she reached into her purse and took out a shirt i left at her apartment. All i could think of was how well planned this was. I almost admired her skill.
The weekend was pretty unbearable as that if this were PR, i would have my family and friends to comfort me and keep my mind occupied. I am all alone in NY and that night i was truly alone because the one thing i missed the most was not the sex or the girlfriend but just the friend. Thats probably the saddest thing of breaking up with someone is loosing a friend.
Did I ever really know Franca? Did she ever really know me? I honestly dont know. Maybe we were just two people that were supposed to meet at this time in our lives.
Life isnt butterflys and rainbows but it isnt gloom and doom. Im doing okay finally comming out of the emotional roller coaster these last couple of days has been. Im trying to focus on my work and my goals, i cling to them like a security blanket. I guess in the end all we really have is our dreams. They keep us motivated and focused.
Maybe thats all i will ever have. Maybe thats all i really need.
I ignored all the signs as always and wound up at the bottom of the cliff of emotional pain.
The ironic thing is that we both wanted the same thing. To take things slow and get some space. Just date and slowly grow into each other but instead i came off as mr.strick demanding more time and upping the presure.
Thats not me. Thats who i tought i should be.
Im not used to casual dating. In PR your either serious or your not. There is not middle ground. I learned the hard way that it is.
Im also kicking myself because for the past month and half ive been beating myself up because ive had strong desires to date other women. I thought i was a horrible boyfriend who was lusting after other women, when the case was i am just not ready for a serious relationship.
The Franca dumping hit me pretty hard on Friday. The way she did it was like a proffesional hit, leading me to a beautiful park holding my hand, kissing me and then sitting me down for the devasting blow of ending our relationship. The kicker was when she reached into her purse and took out a shirt i left at her apartment. All i could think of was how well planned this was. I almost admired her skill.
The weekend was pretty unbearable as that if this were PR, i would have my family and friends to comfort me and keep my mind occupied. I am all alone in NY and that night i was truly alone because the one thing i missed the most was not the sex or the girlfriend but just the friend. Thats probably the saddest thing of breaking up with someone is loosing a friend.
Did I ever really know Franca? Did she ever really know me? I honestly dont know. Maybe we were just two people that were supposed to meet at this time in our lives.
Life isnt butterflys and rainbows but it isnt gloom and doom. Im doing okay finally comming out of the emotional roller coaster these last couple of days has been. Im trying to focus on my work and my goals, i cling to them like a security blanket. I guess in the end all we really have is our dreams. They keep us motivated and focused.
Maybe thats all i will ever have. Maybe thats all i really need.