screwed-up eyes and screwed-down hairdos...
And now, the pub joke, in the style of Geoffrey Chaucer.
Three fellowes wenten into a pubbe
Geefullee their handes did rubbe
In expectaci-on of revellree
For t'was the hour that is happee
Great bottels of wyne did they quaffe
And hadd a really goode laffe
'Til drunkenness held full dominion
For t'was two for the price of wone
Yet after wyne and mead and sacke
Man muste have a mas-sive snacke
Great pastees from Cornwalle
Scottish eggs, rounde like a balle
Great hams, quayl, duck, and geese
They suckéd the bones and dranke the grease
Wone fellowe stood al pale and wan
(for he was vege-tariane)
Yet man knoweth that gluttonee
Stoketh the fire of lecheree
Upon three young wenches rounde and slye
The fellowes caste a wanton eye
Wone did approach with drunken wink
"Hullo, darlin', fancy a drink?"
Soon they got them on their knee
T'was like some grislee puppetree
Such was the lewdeness and debaucheree
T'was like a sketch by Dick Emery
(Except that Dick Emery is not yet borne,
So such comparison maye not be drawen)
Then the fellowes began to pale
For quayl are not the frende of ale
And in their bellys, much confusi-on
From their throats, vyle extrusi-on
Stinking, foul corrupti-on came spewing forth from drooling lips
The fetid stench did fill the pubbe
T'was the very arse of Beelzebubbe
Throwen they were from Whore and Trumpet
In the street, no coyn, no strumpet
Homeward bounde they must quicklee go
To that ende, a donkee stole
Their handes al with vomitte greased
The donkee.. was not pleased
And threwed them into a dytch of shyte
They al agreed, "what a brilliant nyte!"
Thank you.
Three fellowes wenten into a pubbe
Geefullee their handes did rubbe
In expectaci-on of revellree
For t'was the hour that is happee
Great bottels of wyne did they quaffe
And hadd a really goode laffe
'Til drunkenness held full dominion
For t'was two for the price of wone
Yet after wyne and mead and sacke
Man muste have a mas-sive snacke
Great pastees from Cornwalle
Scottish eggs, rounde like a balle
Great hams, quayl, duck, and geese
They suckéd the bones and dranke the grease
Wone fellowe stood al pale and wan
(for he was vege-tariane)
Yet man knoweth that gluttonee
Stoketh the fire of lecheree
Upon three young wenches rounde and slye
The fellowes caste a wanton eye
Wone did approach with drunken wink
"Hullo, darlin', fancy a drink?"
Soon they got them on their knee
T'was like some grislee puppetree
Such was the lewdeness and debaucheree
T'was like a sketch by Dick Emery
(Except that Dick Emery is not yet borne,
So such comparison maye not be drawen)
Then the fellowes began to pale
For quayl are not the frende of ale
And in their bellys, much confusi-on
From their throats, vyle extrusi-on
Stinking, foul corrupti-on came spewing forth from drooling lips
The fetid stench did fill the pubbe
T'was the very arse of Beelzebubbe
Throwen they were from Whore and Trumpet
In the street, no coyn, no strumpet
Homeward bounde they must quicklee go
To that ende, a donkee stole
Their handes al with vomitte greased
The donkee.. was not pleased
And threwed them into a dytch of shyte
They al agreed, "what a brilliant nyte!"
Thank you.