(no subject)
September 14, 2001.
I am at the Concord BGC, at a mutant computer terminal. I went down to the National Guard this morning and attempted to donate blood, only to be told that I would have to spend an estimated 4 hrs. waiting in line. Now I love my country and would do anything for its well-being, but 4 hrs. alone in line, in exchange for a lone tropicana orange juice, is forfeiting valuable time doing other merits for society. Like updating livejournal. Getting harassed by horny white trash; the numerous young girls at the BGC with under shaves. "Hii I'm Daaawn what's yer naayme?"
My nerves have been all shot this week. I'm no longer grieving for the victims of tuesday's disaster, but more appreciating the unity I'm seeing in this little city. The "God Bless U.S.A." and "We stand united" signs at every local market place really nab at you someplace deep inside. Everyone's been so nice. I will attempt to donate blood tomorrow or sunday.
The other night I dreamt that someone was trying to get into my house and making a racket in my driveway. Suddenly there was an explosion, and I ran down into my basement. I wasn't alone.. I don't think I died at all either. But then, my dad tells me that not too long ago a middle eastern man appeared in our driveway and wanted to shoot the shit with him and my neighbor who's friends with my dad. He didn't speak much english. The neighbor told him to fuck off.. New to my knowledge, there are middle eastern men living in my neighborhood. At the camp grounds not too far from my house, there refuging in hoardes... I saw them. The Pakistani convenient store franchiser in towns North of Concord are being harassed and boycotted. Ehh... I could go on and on.
Lately I'm finding harder and harder to leave my house. Since my dad is gone a lot at active duty, I'm feeling very alone and solitary. I'm so god damn neurotic. I have this consuming fear that I'm forgetting something. Besides shaking when I stand, I've lost my appetite, and driving feels so out of control. I never know where I'm going.
the fine people at hot topic have yet to call and confirm my job status. i don't think i got the job. however, i'm not devasted. just a little tired.
March 24, 2007.
I remembered today, as I always do, that I have owned and semi-operated a livejournal for 6 years. I always say this will be the last time I update it. This time I mean it.
I fucked up another budding relationship. It must be spring. Only this time my only crime is wanting to make somebody feel so good all the time. I don't really care, I just want my movies back. I start a lot of sentences with I. Victim: my interest. Time of death: 4:17pm.
I apologize for the nostalgia above. Tonight after work I lounged at Erika's and watched a 3-hour documentary on 9/11 and the war in Iraq... and how Bush chants devil messages at midnight bonfires. No, really!! It got me thinking about that time in history, so I decided to consult the old livejournal. Turns out, I didn't really care/understand about it at the time, and now that I get it, I still don't care about it because it's old news. In other words: me, me, me.
God, I totally forgot to donate blood. Fuck. Maybe I will this week...
Anyway, I saw Hall and Oates with Justin last week and Elton John with Kate last night. Go me. I really do have a life, I just refuse to realize it.
I am at the Concord BGC, at a mutant computer terminal. I went down to the National Guard this morning and attempted to donate blood, only to be told that I would have to spend an estimated 4 hrs. waiting in line. Now I love my country and would do anything for its well-being, but 4 hrs. alone in line, in exchange for a lone tropicana orange juice, is forfeiting valuable time doing other merits for society. Like updating livejournal. Getting harassed by horny white trash; the numerous young girls at the BGC with under shaves. "Hii I'm Daaawn what's yer naayme?"
My nerves have been all shot this week. I'm no longer grieving for the victims of tuesday's disaster, but more appreciating the unity I'm seeing in this little city. The "God Bless U.S.A." and "We stand united" signs at every local market place really nab at you someplace deep inside. Everyone's been so nice. I will attempt to donate blood tomorrow or sunday.
The other night I dreamt that someone was trying to get into my house and making a racket in my driveway. Suddenly there was an explosion, and I ran down into my basement. I wasn't alone.. I don't think I died at all either. But then, my dad tells me that not too long ago a middle eastern man appeared in our driveway and wanted to shoot the shit with him and my neighbor who's friends with my dad. He didn't speak much english. The neighbor told him to fuck off.. New to my knowledge, there are middle eastern men living in my neighborhood. At the camp grounds not too far from my house, there refuging in hoardes... I saw them. The Pakistani convenient store franchiser in towns North of Concord are being harassed and boycotted. Ehh... I could go on and on.
Lately I'm finding harder and harder to leave my house. Since my dad is gone a lot at active duty, I'm feeling very alone and solitary. I'm so god damn neurotic. I have this consuming fear that I'm forgetting something. Besides shaking when I stand, I've lost my appetite, and driving feels so out of control. I never know where I'm going.
the fine people at hot topic have yet to call and confirm my job status. i don't think i got the job. however, i'm not devasted. just a little tired.
March 24, 2007.
I remembered today, as I always do, that I have owned and semi-operated a livejournal for 6 years. I always say this will be the last time I update it. This time I mean it.
I fucked up another budding relationship. It must be spring. Only this time my only crime is wanting to make somebody feel so good all the time. I don't really care, I just want my movies back. I start a lot of sentences with I. Victim: my interest. Time of death: 4:17pm.
I apologize for the nostalgia above. Tonight after work I lounged at Erika's and watched a 3-hour documentary on 9/11 and the war in Iraq... and how Bush chants devil messages at midnight bonfires. No, really!! It got me thinking about that time in history, so I decided to consult the old livejournal. Turns out, I didn't really care/understand about it at the time, and now that I get it, I still don't care about it because it's old news. In other words: me, me, me.
God, I totally forgot to donate blood. Fuck. Maybe I will this week...
Anyway, I saw Hall and Oates with Justin last week and Elton John with Kate last night. Go me. I really do have a life, I just refuse to realize it.