Fag Hag Application
I'm taking applications for the spring 2006 season
Resumes optional / Must have references / Must be a native citizen of the U.S. or parts of Eastern Europe / Must have experience in stalking and/or drunk-dialing
**Personal Information**
Name:
Age:
Telephone number:
Brief description of personal style:
Best color:
Hair Style:
Favorite store in mall:
Favorite designer:
Favorite brand of beer:
Best-looking male celebrity:
Average calories per day:
Average boyfriends per month:
Favorite prescription drug:
Favorite show on E!:
**Work Experience**
Name of previous fag employer:
Length of fag-hag employment: (mm/yy - mm/yy)
Age of employer:
Telephone number (or myspace name) of employer:
Brief description of employer:
Mark (x) if employer is currently single: ( )
**Duties of the Hag**
I, ___________________, as an honorably chosen fag-hag, agree to be the loyal sidekick and shopping buddy of my fag, and do solemnly swear to follow and uphold the 3 commandments of fag-hagship, which are:
* Both fag and hag will wait no less than exactly 30 minutes after breaking up with a boy to let the other one begin dating him.
* Both fag and hag must tell never under any circumstances tell eachother how fat they look while trying on an a new outfit. Exceptions to this rule include anything that is shiny or strapless.
* Both fag and hag must approve who the other dates, but in the event of a relationship, neither one must cease from the strenuous observation of males in the food court, driver's seat of cars, or any other public place.
* Both fag and hag must engage in the clandestine manner of criticism of any and all fags and hags that infiltrate the regular hang-outs and/or gym. No one must be spared from harsh evaluation.
Signed:
Date:
Please reply within 7 days of post. Thank you for your interest!
Resumes optional / Must have references / Must be a native citizen of the U.S. or parts of Eastern Europe / Must have experience in stalking and/or drunk-dialing
**Personal Information**
Name:
Age:
Telephone number:
Brief description of personal style:
Best color:
Hair Style:
Favorite store in mall:
Favorite designer:
Favorite brand of beer:
Best-looking male celebrity:
Average calories per day:
Average boyfriends per month:
Favorite prescription drug:
Favorite show on E!:
**Work Experience**
Name of previous fag employer:
Length of fag-hag employment: (mm/yy - mm/yy)
Age of employer:
Telephone number (or myspace name) of employer:
Brief description of employer:
Mark (x) if employer is currently single: ( )
**Duties of the Hag**
I, ___________________, as an honorably chosen fag-hag, agree to be the loyal sidekick and shopping buddy of my fag, and do solemnly swear to follow and uphold the 3 commandments of fag-hagship, which are:
* Both fag and hag will wait no less than exactly 30 minutes after breaking up with a boy to let the other one begin dating him.
* Both fag and hag must tell never under any circumstances tell eachother how fat they look while trying on an a new outfit. Exceptions to this rule include anything that is shiny or strapless.
* Both fag and hag must approve who the other dates, but in the event of a relationship, neither one must cease from the strenuous observation of males in the food court, driver's seat of cars, or any other public place.
* Both fag and hag must engage in the clandestine manner of criticism of any and all fags and hags that infiltrate the regular hang-outs and/or gym. No one must be spared from harsh evaluation.
Signed:
Date:
Please reply within 7 days of post. Thank you for your interest!