always remember
Life in all turn of events will make you remember everything. Everything little thing you have ever done comes back to you at some point and time. You won't be ready for it, but at the same time you don't need to be. Your memorys are the most precious, and horrid thing you have. Never loose them.
My best memorys start in 1995 and last up until about 1997, high school years. Looking back I relize that I have lived one life time already. I am now in my second life time, and there will be a point where I come and do this same thing for the current life.
I have always revoled my life around the women I know, the women I love, and the idea of the ones I don't know and have never had the chance to love. Sex was never an issue it was just a part of life. Starting at the age of 8. I was introduced and shown how to take care of a woman, how she need to be touched, moved, felt, and most of all loved. These things I never put a second though into, just all my heart, and everything was hers.
So by the time I reached my teens, sex and all the facinated things of sex were no longer a mystery. Now I was after love. And it began earlyier, but I understood it to its full extent in high school.
Sonya Bechgtol - the months that seem like a life time. Things were fresh, new, and pure. It all began with a simple game, 2 girls tyring to find out who kissed better. Real intents not need be said. Then love springs up and in. She became my everything. Every touch is remembered. Every time we made love will never be forgotten. Every detail of her embedded to deeply. We spent every day together starting from before school until the night when I brought her home. Assume she was not staying with me for the night. I was never restricted in any shape for or fasion. I lived on my own, in the middle of know where. I saw my mother once or twice a month to make sure I had everything I needed. Sonya was my every waking moments thought. As a new couple planning for marriage, I became a typical comment scared guy. In thus ended what I was scared of and ran. Knowing how much she cared for me and knowing she would walk the distance to keep me in her life I broke a peice of her soul and took it with me.
Shay Thomas - The briefest relation ship of my life, swiftly after leaving Sonya. This was a tempory escape and curiosity of friends. It lasted only 36ish hours.
Amanda Dixon - Was a friend in high school, and what started as piano lessons quickly turned to lusting forplay, and then into a 4 year long relation ship. This was someone who had beconed after me for quite sometime without my knowledge, and now was her turn to shine in my heart. Being her first everything was experimental for her. All exciting and new she was overwelemed with life. Things were quite well for the longest time. We stayed happy and together though think and thin, no matter what. This happy dream all ended with a quick slaughtering of my feeling and reason. Not a week after I had called Connor and asked him to invite all my friends to dinner when I returned from working off shore. Did I come to find Amanda had lied to me and went to fuck someone else in another state. Needless to say the dinner never happened, and the marriage proposal for that dinner was far from happinging. She returns and proclaims her love and admits her mistakes, only to find a cold heart and empty soul leaving her.
Jessica Bohannon - Just as fast as I picked up and moved out from Amanda, I had turned around and was now dating Jessie. Life time mistake to move so swiftly. This was another 4 years of my life, some spent in bliss, others spent in yelling furios rage. Jessie was to show me many better things I could do with myslef and things I had to look forward to if I persisted on this path of life. In return she recived all my love, compasion, understanding, and a few lessons in life that only I could have shown her. Every person you encounter shows you a new part of your self that exist. This is something we did to each other constantly. Another thing she made me relize is that I still love each and everyone one of these ladys', to this very day. Nothing will ever make me stop loving them.
Lisa - Lisa was the sweetest person I could have ever enjoyed being with. She had 2 children who I grew to adore instantly. Lisa taught me about having kids, in all its joys and pains. From going to the river and playing, to coming face to face with a man threating to keep the children(there father). Never have I been more nervous for myself, and absolutly positive that I would do anything for a child. This was a life lesson to show me that I really did want kids. And for this period of time I did have kids. I miss them everyday.
Then there are the women I have loved and never had the chance to show and experince life with them. Priscilla Hode, my best friend though the majority of High School. Jennifer Jordan who was always there to lend a hand and an ear. There's about 20 other sweet ladys I would have loved to known better and spent more time with. But with doubt of myself, will never know.
I don't want to hear shit about this post. If you got something from it, I hope it can inspire you to do more and experince more than I did, and pass the wisdom. Other wise everyone must follow there own path and make there own memories.
A couple of words:
If you doubt yourself, stop.. apply palm to check with extreme prejudce.. Now, follow what your heart is saying.
If you ever had something to fear, fear that you will never get a another chance.
You know you do great work, you know how far you can go, let others know. You never know it could inspire them.
Always try to solve the problem, but don't share the awnser with everyone. Some people have to figure it out on there own.
There is much more, if you ever want to inquire you know where to find me. I prefer face to face. I have to read about peoples lives.(yes im a hipocrite). I must go, until next time.
95-97 KoolKat
97-99 Chaseer
99-01 SirFumpALot
01-04 HyperSwitch
Peace
My best memorys start in 1995 and last up until about 1997, high school years. Looking back I relize that I have lived one life time already. I am now in my second life time, and there will be a point where I come and do this same thing for the current life.
I have always revoled my life around the women I know, the women I love, and the idea of the ones I don't know and have never had the chance to love. Sex was never an issue it was just a part of life. Starting at the age of 8. I was introduced and shown how to take care of a woman, how she need to be touched, moved, felt, and most of all loved. These things I never put a second though into, just all my heart, and everything was hers.
So by the time I reached my teens, sex and all the facinated things of sex were no longer a mystery. Now I was after love. And it began earlyier, but I understood it to its full extent in high school.
Sonya Bechgtol - the months that seem like a life time. Things were fresh, new, and pure. It all began with a simple game, 2 girls tyring to find out who kissed better. Real intents not need be said. Then love springs up and in. She became my everything. Every touch is remembered. Every time we made love will never be forgotten. Every detail of her embedded to deeply. We spent every day together starting from before school until the night when I brought her home. Assume she was not staying with me for the night. I was never restricted in any shape for or fasion. I lived on my own, in the middle of know where. I saw my mother once or twice a month to make sure I had everything I needed. Sonya was my every waking moments thought. As a new couple planning for marriage, I became a typical comment scared guy. In thus ended what I was scared of and ran. Knowing how much she cared for me and knowing she would walk the distance to keep me in her life I broke a peice of her soul and took it with me.
Shay Thomas - The briefest relation ship of my life, swiftly after leaving Sonya. This was a tempory escape and curiosity of friends. It lasted only 36ish hours.
Amanda Dixon - Was a friend in high school, and what started as piano lessons quickly turned to lusting forplay, and then into a 4 year long relation ship. This was someone who had beconed after me for quite sometime without my knowledge, and now was her turn to shine in my heart. Being her first everything was experimental for her. All exciting and new she was overwelemed with life. Things were quite well for the longest time. We stayed happy and together though think and thin, no matter what. This happy dream all ended with a quick slaughtering of my feeling and reason. Not a week after I had called Connor and asked him to invite all my friends to dinner when I returned from working off shore. Did I come to find Amanda had lied to me and went to fuck someone else in another state. Needless to say the dinner never happened, and the marriage proposal for that dinner was far from happinging. She returns and proclaims her love and admits her mistakes, only to find a cold heart and empty soul leaving her.
Jessica Bohannon - Just as fast as I picked up and moved out from Amanda, I had turned around and was now dating Jessie. Life time mistake to move so swiftly. This was another 4 years of my life, some spent in bliss, others spent in yelling furios rage. Jessie was to show me many better things I could do with myslef and things I had to look forward to if I persisted on this path of life. In return she recived all my love, compasion, understanding, and a few lessons in life that only I could have shown her. Every person you encounter shows you a new part of your self that exist. This is something we did to each other constantly. Another thing she made me relize is that I still love each and everyone one of these ladys', to this very day. Nothing will ever make me stop loving them.
Lisa - Lisa was the sweetest person I could have ever enjoyed being with. She had 2 children who I grew to adore instantly. Lisa taught me about having kids, in all its joys and pains. From going to the river and playing, to coming face to face with a man threating to keep the children(there father). Never have I been more nervous for myself, and absolutly positive that I would do anything for a child. This was a life lesson to show me that I really did want kids. And for this period of time I did have kids. I miss them everyday.
Then there are the women I have loved and never had the chance to show and experince life with them. Priscilla Hode, my best friend though the majority of High School. Jennifer Jordan who was always there to lend a hand and an ear. There's about 20 other sweet ladys I would have loved to known better and spent more time with. But with doubt of myself, will never know.
I don't want to hear shit about this post. If you got something from it, I hope it can inspire you to do more and experince more than I did, and pass the wisdom. Other wise everyone must follow there own path and make there own memories.
A couple of words:
If you doubt yourself, stop.. apply palm to check with extreme prejudce.. Now, follow what your heart is saying.
If you ever had something to fear, fear that you will never get a another chance.
You know you do great work, you know how far you can go, let others know. You never know it could inspire them.
Always try to solve the problem, but don't share the awnser with everyone. Some people have to figure it out on there own.
There is much more, if you ever want to inquire you know where to find me. I prefer face to face. I have to read about peoples lives.(yes im a hipocrite). I must go, until next time.
95-97 KoolKat
97-99 Chaseer
99-01 SirFumpALot
01-04 HyperSwitch
Peace