she appears composed, so she is, i suppose. who can really tell?
it occurs to me that it is stupid to want anything
you want and want and want and then if you get what you want...
a) you are content with it, and then move on to a new want, forgetting how badly you wanted this want.
b) it is not how you imagined it. the dream is ruined. you are hopeless because the only thing you wanted is NOT what you wanted at all.
i think that this fear holds me back from trying, really trying to attain anything.
how to just be happy with what you have? to not keep chasing after things that you dont?
there are whole philosophies based around this. being happy with what you have. living for and in the moment.
but is anyone really happy with what they have? can anyone really live in the moment?
if you don't want anything, then what is the point? what is there to live for if there is nothing you want?
maybe the moment that you are completely happy with what you have, and stop wanting is the moment that you can ascend. that's it, isn't it?
i would like to believe that i can acheive that some day.
but the looming promise of dissappointment is almost too much.
to live is to want. and there are things that i want so badly.
this applies to everything. stupid little things and huge things. maybe everything is a stupid little thing. maybe everything is huge. how should we treat it? there are reasons for an against each. everything molds and shapes your life, and makes you who you are today. so perhaps everything should be regarded as huge and life-altering. but if we put so much weight on every "little" thing in life, how do we avoid all of the stress, the dissappointment. how do we embrace the "good" things without worry. why can't we regard everything as "good", no matter what. i feel like i used to be able to do this more easily. let things go. ebb and flow.
why doesn't life work like that these days?
if you want anything very badly for very long, other things that you attain don't seem important. why should some wants outweigh others? and what happens if you get the "big" want? you can never be completely happy, and be alive. to want is to be alive. so why do i feel so weighed down with wants, sometimes, that i feel dead?
and what if you want something that you cannot attain? is that possible? i like to think not. but the fear of attaining is enough to want after things that you believe unattainable.
is it after a certain amount of wants are attained that you can feel happy and content with the rest of your life?
no. there are always new wants. why must we want?! be happy with what you have. be content at least.
not possible. not possible. not possible.
you want and want and want and then if you get what you want...
a) you are content with it, and then move on to a new want, forgetting how badly you wanted this want.
b) it is not how you imagined it. the dream is ruined. you are hopeless because the only thing you wanted is NOT what you wanted at all.
i think that this fear holds me back from trying, really trying to attain anything.
how to just be happy with what you have? to not keep chasing after things that you dont?
there are whole philosophies based around this. being happy with what you have. living for and in the moment.
but is anyone really happy with what they have? can anyone really live in the moment?
if you don't want anything, then what is the point? what is there to live for if there is nothing you want?
maybe the moment that you are completely happy with what you have, and stop wanting is the moment that you can ascend. that's it, isn't it?
i would like to believe that i can acheive that some day.
but the looming promise of dissappointment is almost too much.
to live is to want. and there are things that i want so badly.
this applies to everything. stupid little things and huge things. maybe everything is a stupid little thing. maybe everything is huge. how should we treat it? there are reasons for an against each. everything molds and shapes your life, and makes you who you are today. so perhaps everything should be regarded as huge and life-altering. but if we put so much weight on every "little" thing in life, how do we avoid all of the stress, the dissappointment. how do we embrace the "good" things without worry. why can't we regard everything as "good", no matter what. i feel like i used to be able to do this more easily. let things go. ebb and flow.
why doesn't life work like that these days?
if you want anything very badly for very long, other things that you attain don't seem important. why should some wants outweigh others? and what happens if you get the "big" want? you can never be completely happy, and be alive. to want is to be alive. so why do i feel so weighed down with wants, sometimes, that i feel dead?
and what if you want something that you cannot attain? is that possible? i like to think not. but the fear of attaining is enough to want after things that you believe unattainable.
is it after a certain amount of wants are attained that you can feel happy and content with the rest of your life?
no. there are always new wants. why must we want?! be happy with what you have. be content at least.
not possible. not possible. not possible.