I remember...
I remember when I used to be inspired. Or do I? I remember that I used to know what that felt like, but I don't know if I remember that motivation, that feeling. I feel like I'm going through my day to day routines without any real thought or thinking involved. I just move through each day - almost robotic. Maybe it's ok to take a break on the intellectual and ambitious side of me since I'm working on the physical self at the moment. Or is that just a cop out? I'm not challenged, I'm not intellectually stimulated. More than anything, that's my fault for not seeking out the people and things that stimulate the side of me that thinks things through critically...
On another note, I've finally gotten over him. The him that made me question myself for allowing ANYONE, much less someone for which I had feelings, to continuously disrespect me. I lost my head for a moment, and truth be told, I feel like I lost a bit of my dignity as well. I chide myself for having fallen into the stereotypical "dumb girl crazy over the asshole" archetype, and I can honestly say the feelings are gone. I'm happy about that. In all actuality, the lack of stimulating conversation and activities notwithstanding, I'm happy about a lot of things lately. I'm happy about my physical progress and the changes that I'm making in both the way that I look and in my diet & exercise habits. I'm happy that I'm reaching one of my goals, even if my academic career still sits by the sideline, waiting to be revisited and completed.
I guess, in all, I'm satisfied with some things, and others will require a bit more time, effort and work. Welcome to adulthood.
On another note, I've finally gotten over him. The him that made me question myself for allowing ANYONE, much less someone for which I had feelings, to continuously disrespect me. I lost my head for a moment, and truth be told, I feel like I lost a bit of my dignity as well. I chide myself for having fallen into the stereotypical "dumb girl crazy over the asshole" archetype, and I can honestly say the feelings are gone. I'm happy about that. In all actuality, the lack of stimulating conversation and activities notwithstanding, I'm happy about a lot of things lately. I'm happy about my physical progress and the changes that I'm making in both the way that I look and in my diet & exercise habits. I'm happy that I'm reaching one of my goals, even if my academic career still sits by the sideline, waiting to be revisited and completed.
I guess, in all, I'm satisfied with some things, and others will require a bit more time, effort and work. Welcome to adulthood.