(no subject)
its kinda wierd...this feeling......have you ever felt an indescribable emptiness? today i celebrated my b-day w/ the fam, but i still felt like things just werent right....i guess its just the culmination of all of the tough things coming up or that have just passed.....
ive felt really like a failure lately....and for those of you who know me, that is one of the worst things in the world for me.....i also think im kinda upset at not being home w/ my family on my 17th b-day.... it feels very not special this year when i had expected it to be one of the koolest b-days ever.....
at the same time tho...some small things have made me elated for hours....certain people can make me SOO happy with just the smallest kind word, the nicest smile.....whatever...too bad one of them lives in cherry hill and the other is as oblivious as i am stupid.....o well....
and i feel like my friends are....not there? i hang out with them all the time, but i really dont think many of them realize the kind of strange sadness which wont leave me alone....theres really no way they could know i guess.....
everyone says everything happens for a reason, and im a pretty firm believer in that principle......tho i gotta admit, id really like to know some of the reasons for my torment right now....
i really hope my family calls me on my b-day...if they dont i think i might cry.....
ive felt really like a failure lately....and for those of you who know me, that is one of the worst things in the world for me.....i also think im kinda upset at not being home w/ my family on my 17th b-day.... it feels very not special this year when i had expected it to be one of the koolest b-days ever.....
at the same time tho...some small things have made me elated for hours....certain people can make me SOO happy with just the smallest kind word, the nicest smile.....whatever...too bad one of them lives in cherry hill and the other is as oblivious as i am stupid.....o well....
and i feel like my friends are....not there? i hang out with them all the time, but i really dont think many of them realize the kind of strange sadness which wont leave me alone....theres really no way they could know i guess.....
everyone says everything happens for a reason, and im a pretty firm believer in that principle......tho i gotta admit, id really like to know some of the reasons for my torment right now....
i really hope my family calls me on my b-day...if they dont i think i might cry.....