Fic: Again and Again and Again (Sweden/Finland, Ensemble) PG-13 (6/?)
Title: Again and Again and Again
Author:
hyperemmalawlz
Fandom: Axis Powers Hetalia
Chapter: 6/?
Characters/Pairing: Sweden/Finland, Sweden/Latvia, Sealand (possibly some sort of Sealand/Latvia at some point?), Ensemble.
Word Count: 1475
Rating: PG-13
Summary: The wife, the child, the best friend, the possessor, the man, the boy. It's almost remarkable how many people can get hurt.
Warnings: Cheating, sexual references, swearing, slut-shaming, aging up, bad reasons for sexual relations, age differences in sexual relationships.
Author's Notes: Hey you people who... haven't seen me in months. Sorry. I've barely been writing, a lot of what I have written is going very slowly, and there was some stuff awhile ago that kind of scared me away from LJ. Anyway, have an update. You know the drill: Written for
hetalia_kink, the prompt: Sweden has an affair with someone and Finland comes home one day and catches them in the act. Then followed by a annnnngsty argument of some sort regarding said affair. I want to see some tears and shouting matches or whatever for our "happy couple". The person whom Sweden has an affair with can be anyone, but I'd particularly like Norway or Latvia. I have no idea why. The title comes from the Anne Sexton poem by the same name.
Chapter 6
Finland's got terrible timing.
It's seven in the morning and the doorbell starts ringing; Sweden answers it and finds his wife/husband/whoever waiting there.
There are a lot of things he feels the need to say. A million different apologies, excuses, explanations - but Fin would never listen to any of them and Sweden's always been too embarrassed to explain what he's thinking anyway. So he just stands there.
“I haven't come to make up,” Finland says, and Oh. “I'm not - I'm just here because I didn't pack very much, before I left.” There's a pause, and Sweden just blinks at him. “Can I come in?”
Oh, right. Sweden nods immediately, stepping aside so Finland can get in. “D'ya want... coffee or anythin'?” He hates his voice sometimes, leaving all the vowels out like he can't even be bothered. He doesn't want Finland to think that. Don't think I'm a bad person. Don't think I don't care about you.
“I'm fine,” says Finland, wandering through the lounge room to the stairs. Sweden spots something. Latvia's cup of tea is still there from last night, because when people suddenly have nervous breakdowns on you they don't always finish their drinks. Finland's going to notice. He's going to notice, and he's going to know; and Sweden will never get Finland back if he can't prove he won't do it again. Which he obviously just did. It's not fair.
But Finland doesn't notice - or if he does, he doesn't say anything. He heads for the stairs. “You know, you don't have to follow me,” he says, and it's then Sweden realises he's been doing so. “I do live here. I know where my things are.”
Sweden blushes, which is kind of stupid, when you think about it. “S'ry,” he mumbles, more incomprehensible than usual. Finland just sighs.
“Nevermind. I'll be in our - in your room.”
Sweden thinks - surely Finland will notice, even if Sweden went about doing his usual afterwards; changing the sheets and all that (why Finland wasn't suspicious of him earlier, he has no idea). It still smells like sex in that room. He's going to be sick. But Finland didn't notice before and maybe Sweden's just paranoid (or self-destructive), so he swallows his nausea and waits for Finland to come back down.
After about two minutes, he realises that's actually going to take awhile.
He sighs and realises he should actually move that cup. It's been sitting their all night, half-drunk tea congealing. He's usually more hygenic than that.
He moves to the kitchen and pours the tea down the sink before rinsing it out, and moves it to the side. He'll put it in the dishwasher tonight to clean it more thoroughly, even if really it's not worth it. Then he looks, and realises it's been a few days since he's remembered the dishwasher.
He sighs and is about to start doing just that (because he'll just forget again if he leaves it until later), when he hears something go thump! upstairs and Finland shout “Perkele!”
He has to smile. “Fin? Y'alright up there?”
“I'm fine!” he says.
For a second, it's like things are normal again. Sweden's dealing with the dishes and other domestic things while Fin's off doing something and getting in trouble for it. All they need now is for Sealand to come barraging through the doors, desperate to show off his newest attempt and getting recognised, and then Fin would come down to see it and forget about whatever he was doing, and leave some kind of catastrophe waiting to happen because secretly America wrote their lives as one of his sitcoms, and there may be an explosion-
“D'ya want me t'help?”
There's a pause. Suddenly reality hits him.
Of course Finland doesn't want his help. That's the whole reason he's here. Sweden let down Finland, betrayed him and now Fin wants nothing to do with him. Sea's in a hotel somewhere or other; he's not gonna come in to complete that perfect America's-sitcom scene, and Sweden has no right to imagine that after what he did-
“...No thank you.”
Finland sounds sweet and polite as ever. Sweden sighs, and goes to the dishwasher.
He's half-way through stacking it when Finland comes back down, bag in hand. “You're doing the dishes now?” he says. “It's three PM.”
Sweden stands up, suddenly feeling ashamed of himself. Finland'll think the fact Sweden was doing something so menial while he was upstairs means he didn't really care about Finland did - or what he saw. “Sorry,” he mutters. “Jus' - forgott'n it fer a few days 'n I thought-”
He cuts himself off when he realises Finland is actually smiling a little. He's not angry. He always says how cute he finds Sweden's dedication to their home, especially when it's not really necessary.
Sweden forces himself to turn away. Don't get your hopes up.
As soon as he notices, Finland cuts it out anyway. “So, uh - uh, that's all,” Finland seems uncomfortable now. “I should be alright for awhile.”
“'Ow long?”
The subtext is much too obvious. When can I see you again? Fin sighs. “I don't know,” he says. “There's a world meeting in a few days; I'll talk to you about it then.”
“...'Kay.”
Finland is now looking around uncomfortably. “Well, if that's all, I should probably-”
“Fin?”
“Hmm?”
Sweden sighs. “I - Didn' mean t'-”
“Sve, we've been through this before; I don't want to hear it.”
“Jus' listen,” and for a moment Finland does. “'S not - Latvia has a lot'a probl'ms. Was tryin' t' help, honestly-”
Finland raises a finger to shush him and gives him a steely look. “Sweden,” he says. “I've no doubt that - that what happened is a lot more complicated than what I'm interpreting it as. I know you, and either you've changed a lot when I wasn't looking, or - or you had some kind of reason for what you did, no matter how weak.” He sighs sadly. “But I'm not ready for that, alright? I'm angry. You hurt me, Sve. You hurt me. Right now it feels like - I can barely keep from dying because that's how it feels, and you want me to forgive you already?” Finland glares and Sweden can't say anything. Fin shakes his head. “No. Not now. I'm sorry Sve, but whatever your reasons you brought this on yourself - I'll deal with it my way, and you have no right to tell me otherwise.”
“I didn't mean-”
“Shush, I don't want to fight right now,” Finland says. Sweden obeys, like he usually does. “I'll - I'll see you soon, then. Maybe I'll have my battling spirit back.”
“...See ya,” he says, and he turns back to the dishwasher.
Fin's footsteps head to the door, and Sweden closes his eyes. This isn't forever. You'll see him in a few days. Fin pauses. “Sve - what you said just there.”
“Huh?”
They both turn around to face each other again. “You'd hurt me to save him?” Fin asks.
“...” Sweden's speechless.
“That isn't going to help prove you care for me, you know.” Finland chuckles softly to himself, and opens the door. “Goodbye, Sweden.”
There are all kinds of things he could say. About responsibility and how he let them down before and how it seemed like Latvia had no-one he could turn to, and someone had to try and make him better, even if the method was the stupidest way imaginable, but before he can say any of that Finland has stepped out the door and gone.
He's not going to cry over it. What would be the point? Does he even have that right?
He's about to grin and bear it and go right back to stacking the dishwasher when he hears a barking and Hanatamago comes barreling into the room, perfectly oblivious to the atmosphere. Sweden has to laugh. “Hey you,” he says, reaching to scratch behind the dog's ears.
Hanatamago just barks louder. She's always been Fin's dog more than his, but Fin's not here right now so she's stuck with him. She's been confused and moping for a few days, and Sweden's kind of felt guilty about her too. He feels guilty about everything.
He checks the clock. “Lemme guess, d'nnertime?” Hanatamago barks in affirmation, and Sweden goes off to the fridge to get out a can of food for her (he'll finish the dishwasher after). She's happy to gulp down what he gives her.
“Well, least tha' worked out.”
Author:
hyperemmalawlz
Fandom: Axis Powers Hetalia
Chapter: 6/?
Characters/Pairing: Sweden/Finland, Sweden/Latvia, Sealand (possibly some sort of Sealand/Latvia at some point?), Ensemble.
Word Count: 1475
Rating: PG-13
Summary: The wife, the child, the best friend, the possessor, the man, the boy. It's almost remarkable how many people can get hurt.
Warnings: Cheating, sexual references, swearing, slut-shaming, aging up, bad reasons for sexual relations, age differences in sexual relationships.
Author's Notes: Hey you people who... haven't seen me in months. Sorry. I've barely been writing, a lot of what I have written is going very slowly, and there was some stuff awhile ago that kind of scared me away from LJ. Anyway, have an update. You know the drill: Written for
hetalia_kink, the prompt: Sweden has an affair with someone and Finland comes home one day and catches them in the act. Then followed by a annnnngsty argument of some sort regarding said affair. I want to see some tears and shouting matches or whatever for our "happy couple". The person whom Sweden has an affair with can be anyone, but I'd particularly like Norway or Latvia. I have no idea why. The title comes from the Anne Sexton poem by the same name.
Chapter 6
Finland's got terrible timing.
It's seven in the morning and the doorbell starts ringing; Sweden answers it and finds his wife/husband/whoever waiting there.
There are a lot of things he feels the need to say. A million different apologies, excuses, explanations - but Fin would never listen to any of them and Sweden's always been too embarrassed to explain what he's thinking anyway. So he just stands there.
“I haven't come to make up,” Finland says, and Oh. “I'm not - I'm just here because I didn't pack very much, before I left.” There's a pause, and Sweden just blinks at him. “Can I come in?”
Oh, right. Sweden nods immediately, stepping aside so Finland can get in. “D'ya want... coffee or anythin'?” He hates his voice sometimes, leaving all the vowels out like he can't even be bothered. He doesn't want Finland to think that. Don't think I'm a bad person. Don't think I don't care about you.
“I'm fine,” says Finland, wandering through the lounge room to the stairs. Sweden spots something. Latvia's cup of tea is still there from last night, because when people suddenly have nervous breakdowns on you they don't always finish their drinks. Finland's going to notice. He's going to notice, and he's going to know; and Sweden will never get Finland back if he can't prove he won't do it again. Which he obviously just did. It's not fair.
But Finland doesn't notice - or if he does, he doesn't say anything. He heads for the stairs. “You know, you don't have to follow me,” he says, and it's then Sweden realises he's been doing so. “I do live here. I know where my things are.”
Sweden blushes, which is kind of stupid, when you think about it. “S'ry,” he mumbles, more incomprehensible than usual. Finland just sighs.
“Nevermind. I'll be in our - in your room.”
Sweden thinks - surely Finland will notice, even if Sweden went about doing his usual afterwards; changing the sheets and all that (why Finland wasn't suspicious of him earlier, he has no idea). It still smells like sex in that room. He's going to be sick. But Finland didn't notice before and maybe Sweden's just paranoid (or self-destructive), so he swallows his nausea and waits for Finland to come back down.
After about two minutes, he realises that's actually going to take awhile.
He sighs and realises he should actually move that cup. It's been sitting their all night, half-drunk tea congealing. He's usually more hygenic than that.
He moves to the kitchen and pours the tea down the sink before rinsing it out, and moves it to the side. He'll put it in the dishwasher tonight to clean it more thoroughly, even if really it's not worth it. Then he looks, and realises it's been a few days since he's remembered the dishwasher.
He sighs and is about to start doing just that (because he'll just forget again if he leaves it until later), when he hears something go thump! upstairs and Finland shout “Perkele!”
He has to smile. “Fin? Y'alright up there?”
“I'm fine!” he says.
For a second, it's like things are normal again. Sweden's dealing with the dishes and other domestic things while Fin's off doing something and getting in trouble for it. All they need now is for Sealand to come barraging through the doors, desperate to show off his newest attempt and getting recognised, and then Fin would come down to see it and forget about whatever he was doing, and leave some kind of catastrophe waiting to happen because secretly America wrote their lives as one of his sitcoms, and there may be an explosion-
“D'ya want me t'help?”
There's a pause. Suddenly reality hits him.
Of course Finland doesn't want his help. That's the whole reason he's here. Sweden let down Finland, betrayed him and now Fin wants nothing to do with him. Sea's in a hotel somewhere or other; he's not gonna come in to complete that perfect America's-sitcom scene, and Sweden has no right to imagine that after what he did-
“...No thank you.”
Finland sounds sweet and polite as ever. Sweden sighs, and goes to the dishwasher.
He's half-way through stacking it when Finland comes back down, bag in hand. “You're doing the dishes now?” he says. “It's three PM.”
Sweden stands up, suddenly feeling ashamed of himself. Finland'll think the fact Sweden was doing something so menial while he was upstairs means he didn't really care about Finland did - or what he saw. “Sorry,” he mutters. “Jus' - forgott'n it fer a few days 'n I thought-”
He cuts himself off when he realises Finland is actually smiling a little. He's not angry. He always says how cute he finds Sweden's dedication to their home, especially when it's not really necessary.
Sweden forces himself to turn away. Don't get your hopes up.
As soon as he notices, Finland cuts it out anyway. “So, uh - uh, that's all,” Finland seems uncomfortable now. “I should be alright for awhile.”
“'Ow long?”
The subtext is much too obvious. When can I see you again? Fin sighs. “I don't know,” he says. “There's a world meeting in a few days; I'll talk to you about it then.”
“...'Kay.”
Finland is now looking around uncomfortably. “Well, if that's all, I should probably-”
“Fin?”
“Hmm?”
Sweden sighs. “I - Didn' mean t'-”
“Sve, we've been through this before; I don't want to hear it.”
“Jus' listen,” and for a moment Finland does. “'S not - Latvia has a lot'a probl'ms. Was tryin' t' help, honestly-”
Finland raises a finger to shush him and gives him a steely look. “Sweden,” he says. “I've no doubt that - that what happened is a lot more complicated than what I'm interpreting it as. I know you, and either you've changed a lot when I wasn't looking, or - or you had some kind of reason for what you did, no matter how weak.” He sighs sadly. “But I'm not ready for that, alright? I'm angry. You hurt me, Sve. You hurt me. Right now it feels like - I can barely keep from dying because that's how it feels, and you want me to forgive you already?” Finland glares and Sweden can't say anything. Fin shakes his head. “No. Not now. I'm sorry Sve, but whatever your reasons you brought this on yourself - I'll deal with it my way, and you have no right to tell me otherwise.”
“I didn't mean-”
“Shush, I don't want to fight right now,” Finland says. Sweden obeys, like he usually does. “I'll - I'll see you soon, then. Maybe I'll have my battling spirit back.”
“...See ya,” he says, and he turns back to the dishwasher.
Fin's footsteps head to the door, and Sweden closes his eyes. This isn't forever. You'll see him in a few days. Fin pauses. “Sve - what you said just there.”
“Huh?”
They both turn around to face each other again. “You'd hurt me to save him?” Fin asks.
“...” Sweden's speechless.
“That isn't going to help prove you care for me, you know.” Finland chuckles softly to himself, and opens the door. “Goodbye, Sweden.”
There are all kinds of things he could say. About responsibility and how he let them down before and how it seemed like Latvia had no-one he could turn to, and someone had to try and make him better, even if the method was the stupidest way imaginable, but before he can say any of that Finland has stepped out the door and gone.
He's not going to cry over it. What would be the point? Does he even have that right?
He's about to grin and bear it and go right back to stacking the dishwasher when he hears a barking and Hanatamago comes barreling into the room, perfectly oblivious to the atmosphere. Sweden has to laugh. “Hey you,” he says, reaching to scratch behind the dog's ears.
Hanatamago just barks louder. She's always been Fin's dog more than his, but Fin's not here right now so she's stuck with him. She's been confused and moping for a few days, and Sweden's kind of felt guilty about her too. He feels guilty about everything.
He checks the clock. “Lemme guess, d'nnertime?” Hanatamago barks in affirmation, and Sweden goes off to the fridge to get out a can of food for her (he'll finish the dishwasher after). She's happy to gulp down what he gives her.
“Well, least tha' worked out.”