Fic: Shut Your Mouth (Finn, Ensemble) R (11/?)
Title: Shut Your Mouth
Author: hyperemmalawlz
Fandom: Glee
Chapter: 11/? - "Take My Hand."
Characters/Pairing: Finn, Ensemble.
Word Count: 2285
Rating: NC-17 overall; R for this chapter.
Summary: After the underwear incident, Karofsky and Azimio simply will not back off already when it comes to Finn. Things quickly go from bad to worse.
Spoilers: Up to 2x05, "The Rocky Horror Glee Show."
Warnings: Swearing, description of sexual assault and harassment, terrible reactions to said assault and harassment, sexual references.
Author's Notes: Written for the glee_angst_meme, the prompt: "After the underwear incident, things get a whole lot worse for Finn. The football jocks won't stop taunting him, but it's worse than before: their comments get really sexual. Then they begin awkwardly touching him when they're alone. He wants to tell someone, but it isn't rape or anything so he figures he should just suck it up. And then Karofsky and Azimo corner him in the locker room and force him to give them head. They tell him he was asking for it, and he starts to believe it."
11: Take My Hand
He actually goes to Glee. He's pretty sure most of everyone is expecting him to skip, but there isn't any real reason to. Still, when he goes there he finds he suddenly has that power people in the movies have to make everyone go silent just by being there.
It's... about as ridiculously awkward as it is the movies.
“Finn,” says Quinn, blinking wildly at him. “You're here.”
Finn shrugs. “Well... yeah?”
Everyone's starting to share uncomfortable looks - he can't really blame them. Except he can see Santana rolling her eyes, and even if he really didn't expect her to do any of the sentimental shit (dude, it's Santana), that kind of scares him.
“Are you okay?” blurts out Artie. Everyone looks at him like they think he's dumb for saying it, but are sort of thankful he did anyway, because they all really wanted to know too. Finn shrugs.
“I guess?” he says. “I mean, as much as possible.”
He pretty much watches everyone collectively wince. Shit. “Um, it's okay, guys. Don't worry about me. We have like, stuff to do now... right?”
“We're meant to, but then you walked in and everyone decided they wanna be your therapist,” Santana says. “So, you wanna sit down? Or is your ass meant to be too sore or something?”
“Santana!” Quinn says, looking horrified/pissed off. Finn flinches a bit, but manages to shake it off. That's just Santana, he tells himself. She's probably just trying to be normal or whatever.
“Um, okay,” he says, slowly making his way across the room to sit. He winds up between Rachel and Sam, and Rachel grasps his hand. Sam gives him a look of sympathy. That's a little comforting.
Mr. Schue walks in. “Okay, guys, I know we're...” He stops short when he sees Finn. “Finn.”
There's an awkward pause. “Hey, Mr. Schue,” Finn says, because he's not really sure how he's meant to react. Shouldn't they be getting on with practice?”
“You're here.” Finn nods, and that seemed kind of obvious, actually. “How are you?”
“Oh god, here we go again,” Santana grumbles. Everyone turns to stare at her.
“What?”
“Okay, how can you be that much of a bitch?” Artie asks. “Seriously, how is it physically possible?”
“A guy gets, well, raped and you get pissy because people are asking him if he's okay? That seems, you know, insane and psychopathic,” Sam says.
Santana laughs disbelievingly - okay, Finn didn't expect that. “You guys are serious? You actually buy all this?”
Finn's stomach churns, because people have been sort of making him feel like they don't believe him since there was anyone knowing what not to believe, but Santana isn't really about to say...
“Okay, let's look at some evidence? I mean, he's hardly bruised or anything, is he? Which seems funny, given if a couple of guys who have always hated him were, you know, forcing him, you'd think they'd wind up being violent enough to leave some marks,” she says. “Especially if he was meant to be up and at 'em and fighting back.”
“Santana, stop,” Mr. Schue says. “This isn't an appropriate discussion to be having here.”
“Oh please. If you guys can share your weepy 'oh you poor thing!' statements, then I am making my opinion heard,” she says. “And why the hell wouldn't he be able to fight 'em off anyway? He is like crazy tall. I'm seen them all out on the football field, and Finn is the stronger one. And, you know, if it was just blowjobs - why? Why wouldn't they take it all the way if they were completely ignoring what you wanted anyway?”
“I think they ran out of-”
“Oh whatever,” Santana cuts him off. “And, with the way they were hovering around you before all this, you'd think if you weren't interested you'd have done something about it. Even now, when you're playing the whole victim card, you still haven't called the cops. So I can't help but think you're just a dumb closet case who messed around and got caught, and I'm not going to feel sorry for you crying-”
“SHUT UP, SANTANA!” Mr. Schue screams, making everyone jump. There's a pause as he collects himself. “I cannot allow you to talk to Finn that way. You either need to stop, or leave.”
Santana shrugs. “Fine. If we're going to spend all lesson playing support group anyway,” she says before making her way to the door. She turns back to look at Finn. “Just remember, Finnocence - I'm not the only one who's gonna doubt you. Truth prevails and all that shit. So you better get your story real straight.”
Finn doesn't even know what to say; he feels like she's pulled his guts out and laid them on the floor (ew). Rachel seems to take over for him, squeezing his hand tighter and he can feel her practically shaking with fury. “You have absolutely no idea what you're talking about.”
And just for a second, Finn can see Santana cringe. He doesn't think anyone else notices, and then she's back to Santana Face and he has no idea how to react. “Think what you will, Berry. But I bet a bit of every one of you is a little relieved I said all that, because I'm enough of a bitch I don't care how it looks, and I'm justifying those sneaking suspicions you've got. There's a reason for that.” She pauses. “Well, bye then.”
She storms out, and there's an uncomfortable silence. “Well, that was unnecessary and humiliating,” Quinn observes. “Are you okay, Finn?”
He nods along, even though he's really kind of not and that's probably pretty obvious. Rachel keeps stroking his hand.
“I think she's broken,” Brittany muses. “That was way meaner than normal.”
“That sounds debatable,” Rachel grumbles, as Finn wonders how that even happens. He's pretty sure Santana's not a robot.
“Ignore her. Please,” Tina tells him.
“Bitch is crazy, yo,” Artie says, which actually makes Finn smile.
“Everything she said was just old, victim-blaming myths,” Rachel says. “It's unfortunate, but.... We all do believe in you, Finn.”
“Thanks,” he says. Mr. Schue meets his eye, looking... pitying. Fuck.
“You sure you're okay, Finn?” he asks. Finn nods again.
“Yeah,” he says. “Can we just get on with rehearsal?”
*
They do. Not a lot gets done and everyone's distracted, but it's enough that Finn's only half-thinking about, well, everything. So he's putting it the plus column.
Eventually, it comes to an end, though, and everyone starts preparing their stuff and leaving. Rachel gives him a peck and struts out (he thinks she has ballet today). Everyone makes their way, with varying amounts of staring at him, and Finn starts to follow their lead (minus the staring at himself, because he doesn't really know how to do that without gouging out his eyes or something, and that sounds painful).
Mr. Schue stops him, with a hand on his shoulder. “Finn?”
Finn blinks at him. “Mr. Schue,” he says. “What is it?”
And Schue sighs. He looks sad. “Look, Finn, I wanted to... apologize.”
Finn blinks. “For?”
“I messed up. You told me you were uncomfortable, and I knew I should try to help, but... I told Figgins and he wouldn't act, and I didn't know how to push and... I convinced myself I didn't have to worry. I did. So I'm sorry.”
Finn shrugs. It hurts, but he doesn't see what Schue could have done. He tried, right? “It's okay, Mr. Schue. You did your best or... whatever.”
Schue sighs again. “I guess,” he says, but he doesn't really sound like he means it. Finn doesn't know how to make him feel better. Schue squeezes him by the shoulder. “Well. Take care Finn.”
There's a pause, before Finn finds himself falling into Mr. Schue's arms for a hug. Well, that's got to be kind of awkward. But he finds Mr. Schue is wrapping his arms around him, and really it's not that surprising - Schue hugged him after Quinn said she was pregnant. He guesses he can get hugs from his Spanish teacher whenever anything really bad happens. And for a while, it makes him feel better. He feels protected; like the big, powerful people really can keep him safe and make sure no-one hurts him again.
He knows that's not true - sometimes the can't or, well, won't - but it's comforting anyway. But he has to pull back eventually. “Well. Bye, Mr. Schue.”
Schue nods and draws his arms away. “Bye.”
*
Kurt is waiting in the parking lot.
Finn blinks at him. “Hi?”
“Hello,” Kurt says, shifting uncomfortably. “Just so you know, I'm not stalking you again. Well, I am, but I'm doing it for altruistic reasons so my karma is on the plus side.”
“...I don't know what that word means, but since you're giving it as an excuse I'm going to say it's a good thing.” Kurt laughs a little, and Finn manages to smile. “So, what's up?”
Kurt sighs. “I'm just... worried about you. Of course, everyone is, but since I am more or less your stepbrother by now I have something of a vested interest.” He pauses. “How are you holding up, Finn?”
Finn also sighs, and makes his way over to Kurt's car, leaning against it. “I don't know. Better than I could be, I guess. Better than I should be, maybe.” Kurt looks confused. “I mean, I've been sane all day, even with Santana telling me I'm some kind of...”
“...And that's a bad thing? The staying sane part, not Santana's awfulness. That's definitely a bad thing, ergo my choice of the word 'awful'.”
“You're babbling, dude.”
“Sorry.”
Finn shrugs. “I was pretty fucking messed up, awhile back. I mean, I went all crazy and stuck myself in my room and trashed it and made a whole psycho montage on the wall. So wouldn't have been out of place in a horror movie. Just feels like I should be more consistent about it all.”
“Oh,” Kurt says. Then, hesitantly, he pushes his hand down and wraps it around Finn's.
Finn pauses. A year ago, he would have freaked if Kurt tried that. Now, of course, it's nice. Comforting. And he really fucking needs some comfort right now.
“I still don't feel safe when I'm home alone,” he admits. “It's stupid, and I can hardly force Mom not to work - I mean, we need to eat - but... I get these nightmares. They're freaky. That's actually what made me go all crazy when I wrecked my room anyway.”
Finn stares down at the concrete, and Kurt squeezes his hand harder. There's a pause. “Look, Finn,” Kurt says, drawing his attention. “I'm... trying to be good about all this. And I rather foresaw the fact you might be rather struggling, especially when you have to be home alone. I talked to my dad about it last night, and...” he bites his lip, “Do you think you and your mother would like to stay with us for awhile? So you don't have to spend a lot of time alone? We are meant to be a family now, after all.” Finn can only stare at him, and suddenly Kurt looks really awkward. “Oh, um, if you would be... comfortable with that, of course.”
“Wha? Oh, yeah,” Finn says. “I mean, I'd have to ask my mom first, because I think she'd be pissed if I tried to make her move without asking - even though she did it first - but yeah, I'd like that. I mean, your dad has a gun.”
Kurt smiles at him. “Very well, then. Come on. I'll drive you home, and you can ask Carole. That way, if she agrees, I can just drive you both there.”
“What about my car?”
“We'll pick it up later; why do I have to think of everything?” Kurt bitches, and smiles as he slides inside. Finn goes to the other side and climb in too. Kurt has a really nice car. Then Finn starts thinking, and frowns.
“Thanks for being so awesome about this, Kurt,” he says. “I mean, not everyone's being all... uh...”
Kurt winces. “I'm sorry about Santana,” he says. “I really have no idea what her problem is.”
Finn shrugs. “I'm pretty sure she was saying what a lot of people've been thinking,” he says. Kurt looks shocked. “I mean, Principal Figgins seems to really not want to believe me. And the school nurse seemed kind of bad with her questions when I was with her, like, right after it happened.”
“What?” Kurt asks. “Why didn't you say something about this, Finn? Report them? You can't just let people act like-”
“Who do I report it to?” Finn asks. “I'm not sure anything would happen anyway. Do you think all this... badness is normal when it comes to things like this?”
Kurt sighs. “I do not know,” he says. “I've never been through that situation.”
Finn nods. “Anyway,” he says. “Let's go home.”
Author: hyperemmalawlz
Fandom: Glee
Chapter: 11/? - "Take My Hand."
Characters/Pairing: Finn, Ensemble.
Word Count: 2285
Rating: NC-17 overall; R for this chapter.
Summary: After the underwear incident, Karofsky and Azimio simply will not back off already when it comes to Finn. Things quickly go from bad to worse.
Spoilers: Up to 2x05, "The Rocky Horror Glee Show."
Warnings: Swearing, description of sexual assault and harassment, terrible reactions to said assault and harassment, sexual references.
Author's Notes: Written for the glee_angst_meme, the prompt: "After the underwear incident, things get a whole lot worse for Finn. The football jocks won't stop taunting him, but it's worse than before: their comments get really sexual. Then they begin awkwardly touching him when they're alone. He wants to tell someone, but it isn't rape or anything so he figures he should just suck it up. And then Karofsky and Azimo corner him in the locker room and force him to give them head. They tell him he was asking for it, and he starts to believe it."
11: Take My Hand
He actually goes to Glee. He's pretty sure most of everyone is expecting him to skip, but there isn't any real reason to. Still, when he goes there he finds he suddenly has that power people in the movies have to make everyone go silent just by being there.
It's... about as ridiculously awkward as it is the movies.
“Finn,” says Quinn, blinking wildly at him. “You're here.”
Finn shrugs. “Well... yeah?”
Everyone's starting to share uncomfortable looks - he can't really blame them. Except he can see Santana rolling her eyes, and even if he really didn't expect her to do any of the sentimental shit (dude, it's Santana), that kind of scares him.
“Are you okay?” blurts out Artie. Everyone looks at him like they think he's dumb for saying it, but are sort of thankful he did anyway, because they all really wanted to know too. Finn shrugs.
“I guess?” he says. “I mean, as much as possible.”
He pretty much watches everyone collectively wince. Shit. “Um, it's okay, guys. Don't worry about me. We have like, stuff to do now... right?”
“We're meant to, but then you walked in and everyone decided they wanna be your therapist,” Santana says. “So, you wanna sit down? Or is your ass meant to be too sore or something?”
“Santana!” Quinn says, looking horrified/pissed off. Finn flinches a bit, but manages to shake it off. That's just Santana, he tells himself. She's probably just trying to be normal or whatever.
“Um, okay,” he says, slowly making his way across the room to sit. He winds up between Rachel and Sam, and Rachel grasps his hand. Sam gives him a look of sympathy. That's a little comforting.
Mr. Schue walks in. “Okay, guys, I know we're...” He stops short when he sees Finn. “Finn.”
There's an awkward pause. “Hey, Mr. Schue,” Finn says, because he's not really sure how he's meant to react. Shouldn't they be getting on with practice?”
“You're here.” Finn nods, and that seemed kind of obvious, actually. “How are you?”
“Oh god, here we go again,” Santana grumbles. Everyone turns to stare at her.
“What?”
“Okay, how can you be that much of a bitch?” Artie asks. “Seriously, how is it physically possible?”
“A guy gets, well, raped and you get pissy because people are asking him if he's okay? That seems, you know, insane and psychopathic,” Sam says.
Santana laughs disbelievingly - okay, Finn didn't expect that. “You guys are serious? You actually buy all this?”
Finn's stomach churns, because people have been sort of making him feel like they don't believe him since there was anyone knowing what not to believe, but Santana isn't really about to say...
“Okay, let's look at some evidence? I mean, he's hardly bruised or anything, is he? Which seems funny, given if a couple of guys who have always hated him were, you know, forcing him, you'd think they'd wind up being violent enough to leave some marks,” she says. “Especially if he was meant to be up and at 'em and fighting back.”
“Santana, stop,” Mr. Schue says. “This isn't an appropriate discussion to be having here.”
“Oh please. If you guys can share your weepy 'oh you poor thing!' statements, then I am making my opinion heard,” she says. “And why the hell wouldn't he be able to fight 'em off anyway? He is like crazy tall. I'm seen them all out on the football field, and Finn is the stronger one. And, you know, if it was just blowjobs - why? Why wouldn't they take it all the way if they were completely ignoring what you wanted anyway?”
“I think they ran out of-”
“Oh whatever,” Santana cuts him off. “And, with the way they were hovering around you before all this, you'd think if you weren't interested you'd have done something about it. Even now, when you're playing the whole victim card, you still haven't called the cops. So I can't help but think you're just a dumb closet case who messed around and got caught, and I'm not going to feel sorry for you crying-”
“SHUT UP, SANTANA!” Mr. Schue screams, making everyone jump. There's a pause as he collects himself. “I cannot allow you to talk to Finn that way. You either need to stop, or leave.”
Santana shrugs. “Fine. If we're going to spend all lesson playing support group anyway,” she says before making her way to the door. She turns back to look at Finn. “Just remember, Finnocence - I'm not the only one who's gonna doubt you. Truth prevails and all that shit. So you better get your story real straight.”
Finn doesn't even know what to say; he feels like she's pulled his guts out and laid them on the floor (ew). Rachel seems to take over for him, squeezing his hand tighter and he can feel her practically shaking with fury. “You have absolutely no idea what you're talking about.”
And just for a second, Finn can see Santana cringe. He doesn't think anyone else notices, and then she's back to Santana Face and he has no idea how to react. “Think what you will, Berry. But I bet a bit of every one of you is a little relieved I said all that, because I'm enough of a bitch I don't care how it looks, and I'm justifying those sneaking suspicions you've got. There's a reason for that.” She pauses. “Well, bye then.”
She storms out, and there's an uncomfortable silence. “Well, that was unnecessary and humiliating,” Quinn observes. “Are you okay, Finn?”
He nods along, even though he's really kind of not and that's probably pretty obvious. Rachel keeps stroking his hand.
“I think she's broken,” Brittany muses. “That was way meaner than normal.”
“That sounds debatable,” Rachel grumbles, as Finn wonders how that even happens. He's pretty sure Santana's not a robot.
“Ignore her. Please,” Tina tells him.
“Bitch is crazy, yo,” Artie says, which actually makes Finn smile.
“Everything she said was just old, victim-blaming myths,” Rachel says. “It's unfortunate, but.... We all do believe in you, Finn.”
“Thanks,” he says. Mr. Schue meets his eye, looking... pitying. Fuck.
“You sure you're okay, Finn?” he asks. Finn nods again.
“Yeah,” he says. “Can we just get on with rehearsal?”
*
They do. Not a lot gets done and everyone's distracted, but it's enough that Finn's only half-thinking about, well, everything. So he's putting it the plus column.
Eventually, it comes to an end, though, and everyone starts preparing their stuff and leaving. Rachel gives him a peck and struts out (he thinks she has ballet today). Everyone makes their way, with varying amounts of staring at him, and Finn starts to follow their lead (minus the staring at himself, because he doesn't really know how to do that without gouging out his eyes or something, and that sounds painful).
Mr. Schue stops him, with a hand on his shoulder. “Finn?”
Finn blinks at him. “Mr. Schue,” he says. “What is it?”
And Schue sighs. He looks sad. “Look, Finn, I wanted to... apologize.”
Finn blinks. “For?”
“I messed up. You told me you were uncomfortable, and I knew I should try to help, but... I told Figgins and he wouldn't act, and I didn't know how to push and... I convinced myself I didn't have to worry. I did. So I'm sorry.”
Finn shrugs. It hurts, but he doesn't see what Schue could have done. He tried, right? “It's okay, Mr. Schue. You did your best or... whatever.”
Schue sighs again. “I guess,” he says, but he doesn't really sound like he means it. Finn doesn't know how to make him feel better. Schue squeezes him by the shoulder. “Well. Take care Finn.”
There's a pause, before Finn finds himself falling into Mr. Schue's arms for a hug. Well, that's got to be kind of awkward. But he finds Mr. Schue is wrapping his arms around him, and really it's not that surprising - Schue hugged him after Quinn said she was pregnant. He guesses he can get hugs from his Spanish teacher whenever anything really bad happens. And for a while, it makes him feel better. He feels protected; like the big, powerful people really can keep him safe and make sure no-one hurts him again.
He knows that's not true - sometimes the can't or, well, won't - but it's comforting anyway. But he has to pull back eventually. “Well. Bye, Mr. Schue.”
Schue nods and draws his arms away. “Bye.”
*
Kurt is waiting in the parking lot.
Finn blinks at him. “Hi?”
“Hello,” Kurt says, shifting uncomfortably. “Just so you know, I'm not stalking you again. Well, I am, but I'm doing it for altruistic reasons so my karma is on the plus side.”
“...I don't know what that word means, but since you're giving it as an excuse I'm going to say it's a good thing.” Kurt laughs a little, and Finn manages to smile. “So, what's up?”
Kurt sighs. “I'm just... worried about you. Of course, everyone is, but since I am more or less your stepbrother by now I have something of a vested interest.” He pauses. “How are you holding up, Finn?”
Finn also sighs, and makes his way over to Kurt's car, leaning against it. “I don't know. Better than I could be, I guess. Better than I should be, maybe.” Kurt looks confused. “I mean, I've been sane all day, even with Santana telling me I'm some kind of...”
“...And that's a bad thing? The staying sane part, not Santana's awfulness. That's definitely a bad thing, ergo my choice of the word 'awful'.”
“You're babbling, dude.”
“Sorry.”
Finn shrugs. “I was pretty fucking messed up, awhile back. I mean, I went all crazy and stuck myself in my room and trashed it and made a whole psycho montage on the wall. So wouldn't have been out of place in a horror movie. Just feels like I should be more consistent about it all.”
“Oh,” Kurt says. Then, hesitantly, he pushes his hand down and wraps it around Finn's.
Finn pauses. A year ago, he would have freaked if Kurt tried that. Now, of course, it's nice. Comforting. And he really fucking needs some comfort right now.
“I still don't feel safe when I'm home alone,” he admits. “It's stupid, and I can hardly force Mom not to work - I mean, we need to eat - but... I get these nightmares. They're freaky. That's actually what made me go all crazy when I wrecked my room anyway.”
Finn stares down at the concrete, and Kurt squeezes his hand harder. There's a pause. “Look, Finn,” Kurt says, drawing his attention. “I'm... trying to be good about all this. And I rather foresaw the fact you might be rather struggling, especially when you have to be home alone. I talked to my dad about it last night, and...” he bites his lip, “Do you think you and your mother would like to stay with us for awhile? So you don't have to spend a lot of time alone? We are meant to be a family now, after all.” Finn can only stare at him, and suddenly Kurt looks really awkward. “Oh, um, if you would be... comfortable with that, of course.”
“Wha? Oh, yeah,” Finn says. “I mean, I'd have to ask my mom first, because I think she'd be pissed if I tried to make her move without asking - even though she did it first - but yeah, I'd like that. I mean, your dad has a gun.”
Kurt smiles at him. “Very well, then. Come on. I'll drive you home, and you can ask Carole. That way, if she agrees, I can just drive you both there.”
“What about my car?”
“We'll pick it up later; why do I have to think of everything?” Kurt bitches, and smiles as he slides inside. Finn goes to the other side and climb in too. Kurt has a really nice car. Then Finn starts thinking, and frowns.
“Thanks for being so awesome about this, Kurt,” he says. “I mean, not everyone's being all... uh...”
Kurt winces. “I'm sorry about Santana,” he says. “I really have no idea what her problem is.”
Finn shrugs. “I'm pretty sure she was saying what a lot of people've been thinking,” he says. Kurt looks shocked. “I mean, Principal Figgins seems to really not want to believe me. And the school nurse seemed kind of bad with her questions when I was with her, like, right after it happened.”
“What?” Kurt asks. “Why didn't you say something about this, Finn? Report them? You can't just let people act like-”
“Who do I report it to?” Finn asks. “I'm not sure anything would happen anyway. Do you think all this... badness is normal when it comes to things like this?”
Kurt sighs. “I do not know,” he says. “I've never been through that situation.”
Finn nods. “Anyway,” he says. “Let's go home.”