My best friend.
I never thought I would end up writing this, anywhere, or whatever. Ever.
Many of you know, my dog is going through some shit. Serious shit. It is to the point where I have a distinct feeling that I will end up having to play God and put her down.
And this thought, this action is not without its consequence. I will end up losing my best friend. I am going to end up slicing the cords of the only friendship I have had with someone that did not require much beyond the basic necessities of life, and companion ship. The one friendship that I have held since I was ten, that has kept me sane.
Happy has been near to be since the first time my father laid this adorable squirmy puppy on my lap, licking me and puppy biting me on my hand. I fell in love that day. This energetic animal has been at my side for 12 years. Through my loss of friends and gain of enemies, through the lost of loved ones, and the birth of new ones.
She has leaned at my side, licked my face clean of tears, let me reveal the utter darkness of my soul when I had no one to turn too. This animal had the eyes of a saint. I would cry, and when she didnt run away, she would cuddle me. She comforted me. Even when I was so pissed at her, so angry and had to punish her, she always came back to me. She always returned, forgiving me.
Even know, as I feel the tears and pain of a headache that comes when you try to force your sobs silent, she looks at me with soulful brown eyes forgiving tinged in pain. She hurts so much. If I cant find anything for her to make her feel better, the only thing I can do is ease her suffering and lay her down.
And I am not as selfish as I thought I would be when I would come to this conclusion. She hurts, I cant stand to see her hurt, so I will do what is best and put her down so she doesnt suffer. I would put a human down if they hurt that much themselves.
I just dont want too. I sit here, sobbing, eyes overflowing, nose running, and the only thoughts in my head are of her.
This is the worst-fucking-christmas-ever!
Many of you know, my dog is going through some shit. Serious shit. It is to the point where I have a distinct feeling that I will end up having to play God and put her down.
And this thought, this action is not without its consequence. I will end up losing my best friend. I am going to end up slicing the cords of the only friendship I have had with someone that did not require much beyond the basic necessities of life, and companion ship. The one friendship that I have held since I was ten, that has kept me sane.
Happy has been near to be since the first time my father laid this adorable squirmy puppy on my lap, licking me and puppy biting me on my hand. I fell in love that day. This energetic animal has been at my side for 12 years. Through my loss of friends and gain of enemies, through the lost of loved ones, and the birth of new ones.
She has leaned at my side, licked my face clean of tears, let me reveal the utter darkness of my soul when I had no one to turn too. This animal had the eyes of a saint. I would cry, and when she didnt run away, she would cuddle me. She comforted me. Even when I was so pissed at her, so angry and had to punish her, she always came back to me. She always returned, forgiving me.
Even know, as I feel the tears and pain of a headache that comes when you try to force your sobs silent, she looks at me with soulful brown eyes forgiving tinged in pain. She hurts so much. If I cant find anything for her to make her feel better, the only thing I can do is ease her suffering and lay her down.
And I am not as selfish as I thought I would be when I would come to this conclusion. She hurts, I cant stand to see her hurt, so I will do what is best and put her down so she doesnt suffer. I would put a human down if they hurt that much themselves.
I just dont want too. I sit here, sobbing, eyes overflowing, nose running, and the only thoughts in my head are of her.
This is the worst-fucking-christmas-ever!