(no subject)
Just a sudden realization has come to me.
I am much like family that I never was around.
My mother did not raise me. I saw her a few times out of the years of my growing up, and that is when my sister or herself could come to rescue me from the life I had. Now my life wasn't that bad. It was a good childhood. Minus the typical dysfunctional realities of it.
But my mother did not raise me. She wasn't there when I had my first crush, nor was she there when I had my first school project.
My Aunt Susan, Dad, and Grandma Ellie were there for those.
They say it takes a village to raise a child, its a quote my sister jokingly throws at me now when it comes to my spoiled rotten niece (usually when she needs me to babysit :P ).
I sit back and reflect on my life. My niece's life will be different than my own for sure. She will have strong willed women in her life, as I did. But she will (as far as I can pray) have all her family as close as can be.
Her grandmother is there for her, always, as mine were for me. Her aunt (me) is going to be there for her, and has been since April 9th, 2007. I will be for her, and opened minded for her, and helping her with things if her own interest as my Aunt was for me growing up.
I think about it. Aunt Susan never judged me. She was a lot like my mom is, which is why they were prolly good friends in their younger lives. They both are intelligent and open minded. My grandmother, God Rest Her Soul, was as opened minded as she could be. She may not have liked the things I (or my Aunt!) were into or did, but she, unlike Dad, accepted them as be, because it was us. Mom is the same.
When I was into Wicca, and I wanted to know more about it, researched it, and even briefly wanted to -be- Wiccan, mom was there with me, 200 steps of the way. She went to the stores with me, went to the New Age, helped me buy the books, listened when I read stuff. Same when I was into -anything-.
Grandma Betty was TOTALLY against it. But Mom told me the other day, that Grandma Betty was against anything shes ever done with her children since she showed my brother what a condom was in the food store.
That made me laugh, because really, that sums my mom up. I guess some would call her a "liberal". But anyway, I digress.
I just look at my life, realizing how much would be different today had things been different. If mom and dad hadnt divorced -- i may of not be as close to my sister as I am.
Had my Grandfather Sol not died when I was so young -- I may not feel clueless to who I really am.
Had I know my Grandfather Pepper more -- I may also be able to share in the memories that my sister and mother and that whole side of the family likes to sometimes reminisce on.
Some days, I wish my Grandmothers were here. There are times I feel like my world is crashing head first around me, and I cry for Grandma Ellie, because she was always there. When dad forced us to bring Comet, my first dog, to the Pound, I left him and ran to -her- arms. Because -she- comforted me. I guess in away, she was my Mother figure growing up. Her and Aunt Susan.
Female stuff? I went to them in the younger years.
I sorta miss my family from back in the day. I really do. But I guess thats what its sopposed to be when you grow up.
You look back to see how you were, and hope for the young, that they are better than you had.
Here is the most recent picture I have of the little ball of sunshine, when we went to the beach a few months back.
I am much like family that I never was around.
My mother did not raise me. I saw her a few times out of the years of my growing up, and that is when my sister or herself could come to rescue me from the life I had. Now my life wasn't that bad. It was a good childhood. Minus the typical dysfunctional realities of it.
But my mother did not raise me. She wasn't there when I had my first crush, nor was she there when I had my first school project.
My Aunt Susan, Dad, and Grandma Ellie were there for those.
They say it takes a village to raise a child, its a quote my sister jokingly throws at me now when it comes to my spoiled rotten niece (usually when she needs me to babysit :P ).
I sit back and reflect on my life. My niece's life will be different than my own for sure. She will have strong willed women in her life, as I did. But she will (as far as I can pray) have all her family as close as can be.
Her grandmother is there for her, always, as mine were for me. Her aunt (me) is going to be there for her, and has been since April 9th, 2007. I will be for her, and opened minded for her, and helping her with things if her own interest as my Aunt was for me growing up.
I think about it. Aunt Susan never judged me. She was a lot like my mom is, which is why they were prolly good friends in their younger lives. They both are intelligent and open minded. My grandmother, God Rest Her Soul, was as opened minded as she could be. She may not have liked the things I (or my Aunt!) were into or did, but she, unlike Dad, accepted them as be, because it was us. Mom is the same.
When I was into Wicca, and I wanted to know more about it, researched it, and even briefly wanted to -be- Wiccan, mom was there with me, 200 steps of the way. She went to the stores with me, went to the New Age, helped me buy the books, listened when I read stuff. Same when I was into -anything-.
Grandma Betty was TOTALLY against it. But Mom told me the other day, that Grandma Betty was against anything shes ever done with her children since she showed my brother what a condom was in the food store.
That made me laugh, because really, that sums my mom up. I guess some would call her a "liberal". But anyway, I digress.
I just look at my life, realizing how much would be different today had things been different. If mom and dad hadnt divorced -- i may of not be as close to my sister as I am.
Had my Grandfather Sol not died when I was so young -- I may not feel clueless to who I really am.
Had I know my Grandfather Pepper more -- I may also be able to share in the memories that my sister and mother and that whole side of the family likes to sometimes reminisce on.
Some days, I wish my Grandmothers were here. There are times I feel like my world is crashing head first around me, and I cry for Grandma Ellie, because she was always there. When dad forced us to bring Comet, my first dog, to the Pound, I left him and ran to -her- arms. Because -she- comforted me. I guess in away, she was my Mother figure growing up. Her and Aunt Susan.
Female stuff? I went to them in the younger years.
I sorta miss my family from back in the day. I really do. But I guess thats what its sopposed to be when you grow up.
You look back to see how you were, and hope for the young, that they are better than you had.
Here is the most recent picture I have of the little ball of sunshine, when we went to the beach a few months back.