HOLY CRAP!
It is fracking hot outside! LIke 83 when I last checked. Finally the summer weather is here. Now I just wanna be on a beach or boat somewhere and I can be a happy person. LOL!Took Zeke out for a nice quick walk. Just over a mile, since it was so hot and muggy out I didn't want to risk over working him or myself. With the beautiful week it looks like we are going to have, I wish I could just go right back to Port Austin for a while.
I've really been getting back into playing my clarinet lately. I am way out of practice, but hopefully working at it little by little each day, I will get better. I need to find my old band books with my scales and chromatic practices. Those will really help me get back to where I once was. I picked up a book of music from Evita, which looks to be a good difficulty for me. I used to be capable of playing more technically challenging music, but again, the whole being out of practice thing. I also found a clarinet version of the Elfen Lied theme "Lilium", which is a beautiful song. Take a listen.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RaV6eDvgiG4
So a bit of a falling out with friends. Doesn't make my day to happy. But I am sure hoping things pan out in the end. I have given it a lot of thought and tried to understand things from all perspectives. I Think I have a better grasp of what happened. Albeit I am still a bit confused on how it got to this. I think there is a bunch of blame to go around. With myself and with the two other parties involved.
I wish that people would come to me directly if I offend them. I know that the way I can be sometimes rubs people the wrong way. This is something I realized about myself a long time ago. Because of this I try to be approachable and open to this sort of thing. (Although I do think humanity as a whole is too thin skinned) If something I say or do offends you, then fucking tell me! Don't let it brood until it explodes out into the open and leaves me confused. Chances are I won't even remember why you are pissed in the first place. I stick to my vices and most likely won't take back what I say, depending on the situation of course, but I will be more cautious in the future purely out of respect for my friends. I don't go out of my way to offend people deliberately unless they are a useless jackass like Ron and deserve my malice. And I do talk about controversial topics, and I do state my opinions openly. That is not going to change any time soon. Just because what I said related to the offensive topic from a while back, it did not in any fraction of a way get said as an insult, criticism or an attack on the person I offended. Hell I can't even remember most of the supposed times I said something related to the subject that was misconstrued as a personal attack on a friends faith. That is a bitch of a thing to do, and I am not like that. If anything I am rather insulted that people would think that way about me. I am open to other peoples religious beliefs. That is something I pride myself on. Hell, one of my best friends is die hard pagan, and another is atheist. And I do not care. Just because I have a personal grudge against a certain faith as a whole due to events in my past does not mean I have something against you or anyone who practice that faith. I don't care what you believe in. I don't care why you believe in it. I was just stating a personal belief and that is all.
And then there is the third party. Apparently the angry first party was venting to the third party, and the third party mentioned that I said stuff that I guess was related to what offended the first party in the first place. Now, I understand it was an accident. I understand that you were just being a good friend, but you really should not have been involved. It was wrong for him to drag you into this. I understand that friends vent to each other, I do it too. But even though you didn't mean or try to "throw me under the bus", you really kind of did. And it may have made things worse. Now I have no idea what was said between the two of you, or how lines of communication may have gotten crossed. And how fair is is for me to say something to a friend in conversation, then he misinterprets it and spreads that on to the offended one, who then takes that as an insult, when I wasn't even talking about him in the first place? Not very fair at all. Unless I said something like _____ is such and ass hole because he is ______ then I was not insulting him. Now I feel like I can no longer trust a good friend because I feel like "Oh what is he going to tell who about me next?" That is not a good feeling at all! It doesn't mean that I hate you or want to stop being friends with you. Because I still want all of my friends. But you honestly made me feel like now I need to walk on egg shells around everybody.
Now, Lord knows I am not perfect myself. I do many stupid and regrettable things. In hind sight I feel like maybe there was more I could have done to prevent this form happening. I wish I had know what I said insulted a friend this much, because I would have tried to fix things earlier on. But it had to happen like this. It also fanned flames in an ongoing argument between my husband and I and now he feels like his friends are going to avoid him BECAUSE OF ME! And that is the last thing I want! I just hope that we can all stop acting like 5th graders and learn from this.
I've really been getting back into playing my clarinet lately. I am way out of practice, but hopefully working at it little by little each day, I will get better. I need to find my old band books with my scales and chromatic practices. Those will really help me get back to where I once was. I picked up a book of music from Evita, which looks to be a good difficulty for me. I used to be capable of playing more technically challenging music, but again, the whole being out of practice thing. I also found a clarinet version of the Elfen Lied theme "Lilium", which is a beautiful song. Take a listen.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RaV6eDvgiG4
So a bit of a falling out with friends. Doesn't make my day to happy. But I am sure hoping things pan out in the end. I have given it a lot of thought and tried to understand things from all perspectives. I Think I have a better grasp of what happened. Albeit I am still a bit confused on how it got to this. I think there is a bunch of blame to go around. With myself and with the two other parties involved.
I wish that people would come to me directly if I offend them. I know that the way I can be sometimes rubs people the wrong way. This is something I realized about myself a long time ago. Because of this I try to be approachable and open to this sort of thing. (Although I do think humanity as a whole is too thin skinned) If something I say or do offends you, then fucking tell me! Don't let it brood until it explodes out into the open and leaves me confused. Chances are I won't even remember why you are pissed in the first place. I stick to my vices and most likely won't take back what I say, depending on the situation of course, but I will be more cautious in the future purely out of respect for my friends. I don't go out of my way to offend people deliberately unless they are a useless jackass like Ron and deserve my malice. And I do talk about controversial topics, and I do state my opinions openly. That is not going to change any time soon. Just because what I said related to the offensive topic from a while back, it did not in any fraction of a way get said as an insult, criticism or an attack on the person I offended. Hell I can't even remember most of the supposed times I said something related to the subject that was misconstrued as a personal attack on a friends faith. That is a bitch of a thing to do, and I am not like that. If anything I am rather insulted that people would think that way about me. I am open to other peoples religious beliefs. That is something I pride myself on. Hell, one of my best friends is die hard pagan, and another is atheist. And I do not care. Just because I have a personal grudge against a certain faith as a whole due to events in my past does not mean I have something against you or anyone who practice that faith. I don't care what you believe in. I don't care why you believe in it. I was just stating a personal belief and that is all.
And then there is the third party. Apparently the angry first party was venting to the third party, and the third party mentioned that I said stuff that I guess was related to what offended the first party in the first place. Now, I understand it was an accident. I understand that you were just being a good friend, but you really should not have been involved. It was wrong for him to drag you into this. I understand that friends vent to each other, I do it too. But even though you didn't mean or try to "throw me under the bus", you really kind of did. And it may have made things worse. Now I have no idea what was said between the two of you, or how lines of communication may have gotten crossed. And how fair is is for me to say something to a friend in conversation, then he misinterprets it and spreads that on to the offended one, who then takes that as an insult, when I wasn't even talking about him in the first place? Not very fair at all. Unless I said something like _____ is such and ass hole because he is ______ then I was not insulting him. Now I feel like I can no longer trust a good friend because I feel like "Oh what is he going to tell who about me next?" That is not a good feeling at all! It doesn't mean that I hate you or want to stop being friends with you. Because I still want all of my friends. But you honestly made me feel like now I need to walk on egg shells around everybody.
Now, Lord knows I am not perfect myself. I do many stupid and regrettable things. In hind sight I feel like maybe there was more I could have done to prevent this form happening. I wish I had know what I said insulted a friend this much, because I would have tried to fix things earlier on. But it had to happen like this. It also fanned flames in an ongoing argument between my husband and I and now he feels like his friends are going to avoid him BECAUSE OF ME! And that is the last thing I want! I just hope that we can all stop acting like 5th graders and learn from this.