Jeez...
I haven't posted in forever. Been wanting to, but shit happens. Still overcoming sick. Yeah still. It was a doozy of a sinus infection that kept re-infecting over and over again. Taking a solid month of antibiotics for it. At least these meds don't make me sleepy and have to pee every 20 minutes like the last ones did.
So yeah... depression is kicking in again. For someone who seems to have as much as I have, is it right to absolutely hate my life as much as I do? Doubtful, but I really don't want to take anti-depressants again. I don't like the person I become on them. Last time I took them it was like all of my emotion was locked away and I was hurting people close to me without even realizing it. But being mentally self destructive like I have been lately is just going to hurt people too. It really is a catch 22, because my mood swings are getting out of hand and I am going to ruin something if this keeps up. It almost feels like being bi-polar or something, which I hope to God I am not. I do have a lot of personal conflict going on inside my head. I am losing trust and faith in my friends and family and it feels like I am starting to push people away from me.
Oh hell who knows anymore...
So yeah... depression is kicking in again. For someone who seems to have as much as I have, is it right to absolutely hate my life as much as I do? Doubtful, but I really don't want to take anti-depressants again. I don't like the person I become on them. Last time I took them it was like all of my emotion was locked away and I was hurting people close to me without even realizing it. But being mentally self destructive like I have been lately is just going to hurt people too. It really is a catch 22, because my mood swings are getting out of hand and I am going to ruin something if this keeps up. It almost feels like being bi-polar or something, which I hope to God I am not. I do have a lot of personal conflict going on inside my head. I am losing trust and faith in my friends and family and it feels like I am starting to push people away from me.
Oh hell who knows anymore...