(no subject)
OH MY FUCKING GOD.
I just had to get that out. I feel like...i donno...everything. Ive never felt as overwhelmed with emotions SCREAMING to get out. Today wasnt a great day. Met up with my past...twice...and it bit me in the ass. Hard. Was pretty much a big FUCK YOU. I cant believe that Ive fucked up so bad. And I cant take it back, and apparently I cant fix it either. Every time I think Ive made progress its WHAM BAM BAM and back to the start. I dont know why I even bother anymore, to be perfectly honest. WHAT THE FUCK IS THE POINT. If Im just 'psycho' and "COMPLICATED".....If I just MESS UP PEOPLES LIVES. I havnt wanted to hurt myself this bad in a long time. Im overreacting because my emotions, and my body in general, are harsh going haywire all over the fucking place, and its making everything into a catastrophe. Right now I am drinking my pain away, and Im going to drink until Im better. At least, until I cant feel.
I just had to get that out. I feel like...i donno...everything. Ive never felt as overwhelmed with emotions SCREAMING to get out. Today wasnt a great day. Met up with my past...twice...and it bit me in the ass. Hard. Was pretty much a big FUCK YOU. I cant believe that Ive fucked up so bad. And I cant take it back, and apparently I cant fix it either. Every time I think Ive made progress its WHAM BAM BAM and back to the start. I dont know why I even bother anymore, to be perfectly honest. WHAT THE FUCK IS THE POINT. If Im just 'psycho' and "COMPLICATED".....If I just MESS UP PEOPLES LIVES. I havnt wanted to hurt myself this bad in a long time. Im overreacting because my emotions, and my body in general, are harsh going haywire all over the fucking place, and its making everything into a catastrophe. Right now I am drinking my pain away, and Im going to drink until Im better. At least, until I cant feel.