All because of one...
Yesterday, while in the car I heard a song I hadn't heard in ages.
It was the song that reminded me of last summer, of every crazy emotion I dealt with last May through August. The song was a fantastic little number by the name of 'Hotel California'...and it made me think.
I realized how much I've grown, how much I've begun to accept myself and others, how new people have come into my life without me becoming completely vulnerable to those tiny but crushing blows sometimes dealt my way.
Automatically, the first person I thought of was the one who hurt me the most. It was kind of ironic that the song I had come to love through him, through the summer, I had begun to dread every time I heard it in the months that followed. Looking back, I was pretty ashamed/annoyed of my gullibility towards things I most definitely knew had to be just jokes. But then I remembered, I fixed it. It was done, apologies were made and forgiveness was granted. Even though I didn't believe it would happen back then, I don't hold a grudge and I've moved on.
I thought of the good times. Though they were few, they stuck out like a sore thumb. The people, the places, the crazy inside jokes that came from it all. I know I've lost touch with quite a few of those people and I really do miss them a lot, but it makes sense that I had to let some of them go. I really didn't want to, but we're going down very different roads and we all needed space to grow and find ourselves it this crazy world. I love them all and if any one of those friends were to call, were to let me know they needed me, I'd be there. No matter how long it's been, it's friendships like those that you can't just throw away.
I also came to sort of review my life since then. The awesome people I've met and the great places I been, I'm at the bottom of that crazy mountain I call high school. The only way to go is up.
I've been through a lot. I know that it might not seem like that to those I've just met, maybe not even to those I've known for a while. The fights, the tears, the pain, the fun, the laughter, the anger, the infatuation, it's all gotten me to here...The Realization. The light bulb's gone off; I'm not a loner, I have friends. I don't have to be "perfect", people love me and are proud of what I have accomplished. I'm not hopeless, I'm all I make myself up to be.
I was looking through some old English work I had saved to the computer and I found a poem I wrote last year for Marek. I'll always love that woman and appreciate her for everything she taught me. What sort of surprised me was that at the end of the year,she told me that appreciated me, my work and the effort I put into her class. She said I'd go far; I plan on proving her right. I have plenty coming my way but all I can say is, "bring it."
The Calm In The Storm
It's come time to decide if settling for the
Most common and predictable path is where
I want to head down facing few
Obstacles that haven't been faced before
To please the ones I care for or
Instead push through the
Boundaries that have confined me and
Reach the full potential I know I can reach
Frustration and stress will
Follow me on either way I choose to go
Like a boat stuck in a thrashing sea
During a storm I faithfully
Search for that guiding light that will
Help me find the way through the
Pressures and anxieties that have
Engulfed me and pull me away from them and
When I find that light I
Know that it was through
Hard work, strength, and determination that
I have achieved the goals I have set and
Found the calm in the storm
It was the song that reminded me of last summer, of every crazy emotion I dealt with last May through August. The song was a fantastic little number by the name of 'Hotel California'...and it made me think.
I realized how much I've grown, how much I've begun to accept myself and others, how new people have come into my life without me becoming completely vulnerable to those tiny but crushing blows sometimes dealt my way.
Automatically, the first person I thought of was the one who hurt me the most. It was kind of ironic that the song I had come to love through him, through the summer, I had begun to dread every time I heard it in the months that followed. Looking back, I was pretty ashamed/annoyed of my gullibility towards things I most definitely knew had to be just jokes. But then I remembered, I fixed it. It was done, apologies were made and forgiveness was granted. Even though I didn't believe it would happen back then, I don't hold a grudge and I've moved on.
I thought of the good times. Though they were few, they stuck out like a sore thumb. The people, the places, the crazy inside jokes that came from it all. I know I've lost touch with quite a few of those people and I really do miss them a lot, but it makes sense that I had to let some of them go. I really didn't want to, but we're going down very different roads and we all needed space to grow and find ourselves it this crazy world. I love them all and if any one of those friends were to call, were to let me know they needed me, I'd be there. No matter how long it's been, it's friendships like those that you can't just throw away.
I also came to sort of review my life since then. The awesome people I've met and the great places I been, I'm at the bottom of that crazy mountain I call high school. The only way to go is up.
I've been through a lot. I know that it might not seem like that to those I've just met, maybe not even to those I've known for a while. The fights, the tears, the pain, the fun, the laughter, the anger, the infatuation, it's all gotten me to here...The Realization. The light bulb's gone off; I'm not a loner, I have friends. I don't have to be "perfect", people love me and are proud of what I have accomplished. I'm not hopeless, I'm all I make myself up to be.
I was looking through some old English work I had saved to the computer and I found a poem I wrote last year for Marek. I'll always love that woman and appreciate her for everything she taught me. What sort of surprised me was that at the end of the year,she told me that appreciated me, my work and the effort I put into her class. She said I'd go far; I plan on proving her right. I have plenty coming my way but all I can say is, "bring it."
The Calm In The Storm
It's come time to decide if settling for the
Most common and predictable path is where
I want to head down facing few
Obstacles that haven't been faced before
To please the ones I care for or
Instead push through the
Boundaries that have confined me and
Reach the full potential I know I can reach
Frustration and stress will
Follow me on either way I choose to go
Like a boat stuck in a thrashing sea
During a storm I faithfully
Search for that guiding light that will
Help me find the way through the
Pressures and anxieties that have
Engulfed me and pull me away from them and
When I find that light I
Know that it was through
Hard work, strength, and determination that
I have achieved the goals I have set and
Found the calm in the storm