lately..
ok. i havent updated in a while so this is prolly gonna be long.
i had so much fun last week when me and toni went downtown. we went to the hippodrome but it was closed for some reason so we headed over to rain. damnnnn. was i glad we went. i have never ever had that much fun at a club in my life. it was amazing and i loved dancin..me and kristin were dancing for a while with some guys..that was soo funny.. i didnt get home til about 3. my mom was mad. ohhh welll. and there is plenty more nights like that to come! i wanna go every week!!
and i wanted to say that i <3 love <3 my friends. because i have been havin so much fun with them. and i can like hang out with anyone and have a good time. like i hung out with rachel a lot before she went to the cape and i always had fun. and then i would hang out with lauren and have a good time. and thenn toni. always a good time with my bestest <3 hehe. and i just owe a lot to my friends because they dont know how much i love them and what they do for me.
also - it was unsure for a long time whether i was gonna have a dorm to live in at schoool...but they called yesterday to offer me a place to live on campus! wooot woot! soo excited! they're gonna send me a questionaire thingy and contract! yay!
im going to rain tomorrow night again...this time toni isnt goin though..im sad. but i think i can still have fun..but not as much because she wont be there :(
i've been talkin to my dad lately..its okay. i dont really know what to say about him. my mom and i have been gettin along really good lately...and its good. but sometimes she is just sooo stupid i dont understannd...and she's goin away next week for 5 days. thats a stupid mistake. and my brother. he's an ass. like always. and how bout the rest of my family? like my grandma who ditched me last week because she was too busy..or my whole family on my mom's side that didnt show up to my grad party.. yea. real cool guys. thanks.
so i had my grad party. yea that was a real hit. NOT. i left my house at like 8 b/c no one was here. lol. i got a carryin case for my non-existent laptop. lol. and i got about $170 dollars - but i also got $150 around my graduation..but still. thats not a lot of money.. :-(
and this is the week for me to help everyone out. lauren is here for a couple days. because i love her. and i brought amanda somewhere on monday and i saved her life. hehe. then i dunno what else i did but im sure i helped someone. good karma baby..
and im startin to think about everything you told me... i dont know whether to believe the things i dont know about..because i found out some of the "sweet things" u said was a lie. and i just dont know what to believe anymore. im sorry if i didnt make you happy...im sorry if i just wasnt pretty enough for you..im sorry if i just wasnt good enough. im sorry you didnt get what you wanted.
You were all the things I thought I knew
And I thought we could be
You were everything, everything that I wanted
We were meant to be, supposed to be, but we lost it
And all the memories, so close to me, just fade away
All this time you were pretending
So much for my happy ending
and my mom wants to move again. because this house sucks and its fallin apart. the washer was broken for a lil while..and i had to go to the laundrymat today to wash my clothes..and i come home to the landlord fixing the washer....GAY.
and i had a mental breakdown the other day. except no one knows it. i was out with lauren and amanda and it kinda just happened. i dont think they could tell but omg. i wanted to die. u really have no idea.
i owe a lot to my friends. because when im with them, i dont think about how unhappy i am and how much i want to die. they make me smile and make me feel loved. like sometimes i really dont think i can go on being like this..but then a friend calls...or IMs me..and for a lil while they hold my attention away from what is drivin me crazy...
im gonna go now...with one final thought...
i just wanna be loved..
<3 darci